Ten Things I suck at

I picked up the wrong umbrella when I left the barber shop. During that moment of little embarrassment, all the things I suck at flashed for a moment.

1. I cannot drive a car. After two failed driving tests and one major accident, I decided to give up driving in the larger interest of humanity. My wife drives our family car (and me). I am yet to try a self-driving one.
2. I am scared of the thought of unlocking doors with key. The magic combination always eludes me. Strategically I stand behind my wife when we enter home together, so that she can do the honor.
3. I cannot remember more than 3 things at any point in time. The first one is about the thing my kids ask me to bring home. The third thing is generally not so important.
4. I zone out in the 19th minute of any meeting, unless I am speaking. No wonder, people applaud me for my listening skills in an hour long meeting.
5. I do not understand income tax calculations. Hence I insist my tax consultant to pay off my taxes one month in advance.
6. I have zero sense of direction. I have lost my way to my home innumerable times . It is an irony that my team relies on me for directions. I try and sometimes it magically works.
7. I am nervous to participate as a mediator in heated arguments with friends and family. Everyone seems to make a perfectly logical point that no one else other than me seems to understand.
8. I dread to say "Happy birthday" and "Love you" to the people I love. To avoid emotional touchy-feely moments, I even try not to buy gifts .
9. I cannot manage anyone other than myself. It is a wonder how I still manage to lead.
10. I cannot hate anything or anyone. I cannot fathom how anyone can hate in this world that has an infinitely beautiful sky, green trees and naughty children. I suspect, this inability of mine allows me to compensate for the things I suck at.

Confessions of an incomplete man