Ten Things I Now Know At 36 I Wish I’d Known At 26

This weekend I celebrated my 36th birthday, and it was just perfect. I indulged in watching basketball, enjoyed quality time with my family, and even had some peaceful moments to myself for reflection. These quiet moments led to some thoughtful insights that I felt compelled to share. It's fascinating how a bit of solitude and nostalgia can stir up such meaningful reflections, especially on a day that marks another year of life's journey.

So grab a cup of coffee and indulge with me:

1. Stop Trying to Control Everything

At 26, I was all about having a plan and sticking to it, thinking I could orchestrate every aspect of my life. Now, I realize the beauty and relief of letting go. Not every detail has to be under my control. I’ve learned that sometimes the best outcomes arise from simply letting things be. This approach has taught me to trust the process and understand that life has a way of working itself out in ways I could never have planned.

2. The Importance of Building Genuine Relationships

Continue to invest in genuine relationships. These are not just social connections; they are the bedrock of both personal fulfillment and professional success. Don’t shy away from nurturing these bonds. Real, authentic relationships offer support, open doors, and enrich your life in ways you can’t imagine. Embrace every opportunity to connect deeply with others, for these connections will become the most valuable assets in your journey.

3. Stay Curious: Continuous Learning Fuels Progress

Keep fueling your journey with endless curiosity and a commitment to learning. The path of knowledge and skill development never truly ends; it's a continuous journey that propels you forward, igniting innovation and fostering improvement. Embrace the principles of Carol Dweck's "Mindset" by cultivating a growth mindset. See challenges as opportunities to grow, and never stop asking questions. Your thirst for knowledge will not only advance your career but also enrich your life in profound ways.

4. Give Yourself Some Damn Grace

At 26, I was my own biggest critic, relentlessly scrutinizing every flaw and mistake, which often led to negative self-talk. Now, I've learned the importance of giving myself grace and engaging in positive self-talk. It’s crucial to remember that perfection is unattainable and that mistakes are invaluable learning opportunities. Allowing yourself to falter and grow from each experience is essential. Embracing your imperfections and speaking kindly to yourself leads to a deeper understanding and a more authentic journey through life. Loving yourself and practicing positive self-talk not only fosters self-acceptance but also empowers you to navigate life with resilience and confidence.

5. The Power of Authenticity

Being true to myself and cultivating a personal brand based on authenticity has been liberating. It allowed me to forge deeper connections and stand out in my career, reinforcing the idea that genuine self-presentation is key to success. The moment I let myself just be me was the moment I felt I could finally breathe.

6. Enhance Your Empathy

You never know what's going on behind closed doors. Always approach others with empathy and compassion. Personal challenges, such as my journey with infertility, have taught me that everyone has their battles, many of which remain unseen. This understanding should remind us to treat each person with kindness and consideration, as we can never fully grasp the struggles they face behind closed doors. Empathy not only strengthens relationships but also creates a nurturing and supportive environment for everyone involved.

7. Be Intentional with Your Influence

Choose wisely who you let into your inner circle. Being deliberate about the people who influence your life will lead to more meaningful and supportive relationships. Surround yourself with individuals who inspire, challenge, and uplift you. Cultivating a network of positive influences not only enhances your personal growth but also enriches your journey, providing a solid foundation of support and insight.

8. Stop Caring So Much About What Others Think

I was the queen of seeking external validation, to the point where I often neglected my own feelings and opinions. It was a cycle of constantly looking outward for approval, forgetting to check in with myself and evaluate what I truly thought or felt about situations. Now, at 36, I've learned the immense value of focusing on my own path and happiness, rather than being swayed by the opinions of others. This shift toward prioritizing my well-being and embracing my journey has been liberating. I've discovered the joy of trusting my decisions and valuing my individuality.

9. Stop and Smell the Roses

I was constantly looking ahead, planning for the future and missing out on the present. I now understand the importance of being present and savoring the 'right now.' Life's pace is swift, and each moment is fleeting. I've learned to slow down, appreciate the current experiences, and not live solely for future milestones. This mindfulness has allowed me to enjoy life's journey more fully and appreciate the richness of the present.

10. You Are Enough.

The concept of "enoughness" has been a constant battle for me. Even now, there are moments I find myself questioning my worth. Reflecting, I realize how much energy I spent in the past 10 years trying to prove my worthiness, often feeling like I was falling short. I've come to understand that I am enough, just as I am—worthy of respect, love, and success, without the relentless need to prove it. If I could go back, I'd tell my 26-year-old self to embrace this truth, to recognize that my value doesn't hinge on external validation or achievements. We are all inherently worthy, and embracing this belief can transform how we view ourselves and lead our lives.

So here we are...

Reflecting on the whirlwind of the last 36 years feels like peeking through a keyhole into a much larger, richer room. And as I look forward to what the next decades will bring, I can't help but be excited for the lessons and stories yet to unfold. I know, I know—I've shared a lot about myself today, a bit more than I usually would. But hey, it's my birthday, so I figured why not? (Don't worry, I'm not turning into a birthday diva on you—I swear!)?

Sometimes, taking a moment to look back and share those reflections out loud is not just good for the soul; it might just spark something in someone else, too.

Now it's your turn... What would you tell the “you” from 10 years ago?? What have you learned that could be helpful?

As you reflect and put pen to paper (or fingers to keys), consider how these insights might rekindle a dimming passion or inspire a new direction? Sometimes, the breakthrough we're searching for lies in the lessons we've already learned.

Who knows? Your next big breakthrough might just be hidden in the reflections of where you’ve already been.

Rooting for you always,

Ashley

P.S. I hope some of these things resonated with you, and if you ever want to talk, I'm here. DM me or pop something on my calendly :)

P.P.S. Career Resources, Tips and Tricks and Industry Updates coming in next week's edition.