Ten Rules for Making Lists or whatever

1. Lists make your thoughts look organized. They sell the illusion of control. And beginning your list with a first item suggests that you do, in fact, still have your sanity in hand. First tip: always include a first item on your list.
2. Follow up the first item on your list with a second item. This suggests complexity and business. Your second item can be a crap item. No one will remember it anyways. It just needs to be there to complete the illusion. Always include a second item on your list.
3. The third item on a list is one of the most critical items on a list. The third item is where you say, “This is where we get real. This is where we’re serious.” Two items just say, “We MAY go somewhere.” Two items is a tease. It’s only with the third item that you begin to demonstrate your commitment. So never leave a third item off your list. And make sure it’s a punchy one that says, “Now, we’re serious.” In the words of God, “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord in vain.” That’s a pretty punchy third item on a list.
4. Item four on a list is stupid. You can leave off item four.
5. Item five is essential. The odd-numbered items matter more than the even-numbered ones. It just stands to reason. We take micronaps on the evens. That’s just human nature.
6. Make sure that item six is glossy. Or at least greasy. Nobody remembers item six, but you need to have it. Make it simple but not memorable, because people want to get past item six. The one they really want to get to is item seven. Because sevens are sexy.
7. The best thing about item seven is that seven is when people feel that they’ve gotten past the boring bits in the middle and they can see the glory of the promise of some life-changing revelation. Seven has hope built into it. Seven is a place of personal achievement. You can ride that like a rainbow made of Skittles-flavored lube. Item seven will be uplifting no matter what you put into it.
8. Item eight is exactly like a crony to item seven, trying to bask in reflected glory but really just coming across as awkward. Nobody wants the eighth item. Eight is such an apologetic number. But you have to include the eighth item. Toss eight a bone, you know?
9. Make sure to always include a ninth item on your lists. This is your climax. This is what everyone has been sticking with you to get. Nine is the basket of gold-covered chocolate eggs. This is where you pay off the commitment that people started to invest in item three when they realized you meant business. This is where you punch them out with your utter brilliance. So make it good, or you’ll basically blow your moment. In the immortal words of the ironically dead Oscar Wilde said so pithily, "Everything is going to be fine in the end. If it's not fine it's not the end."
10. Item ten is stupid. You can leave off item ten.

In conclusion:

My favorite items, on any list of ten items, are ranked as follows:

1. 7
2. 3
3. 9
4. 2 (I know. Surprising that 2 beats out 5, right? 2 is just so playful.)
5. 5
6. 6 (Crazy coincidence)
7. 8
8. 1 (Some might say that a list isn’t a list without item one. I think that the first item on any list is just an assertion and doesn’t even count until the rest of the list is there.)

4 and 10 can heck right off.