Ten reasons why working with a Neurodivergent Counsellor can be truly beneficial.

I was diagnosed autistic and ADHD at 55 in March 2021. I had no idea I might be Neurodivergent until that January. I am also a Human Givens Psychotherapist (Counsellor). Now I am a Neurodivergent Counsellor and I actively welcome all those people who think they might be ND, are thinking of going for assessment or just want a safe place to talk. Here are ten reasons why it's a great idea to have Counselling with a Therapist who is wired differently.

1. Finding patterns in behaviour 

Interest in patterns is very common for our Community. There are many Neurodivergent Counsellors for this reason. Supporting clients by discovering which behaviours have happened when, for how long, how they manifest and how they may have helped in the past builds a pattern. From here goals can be set to adapt behaviour to more positive outcomes. Building on strengths and maybe even finding new patterns. 

2. Celebrating Difference 

Many of us may have felt like an alien where 'normal' people just don't understand our way of being. It is extremely uplifting and validating when we meet a new tribe who get us. Sharing stories, making connections and building a Community. Not to mention building business contacts and finding new ways to work and have fun. A Neurodivergent Counsellor understands this and will most likely have many excellent resources to get clients moving forward. We are not broken and we don't need fixing. We do have challenges and we also have incredible workability, given the chance. We're hopefully in a new era where organisations will actively welcome ND (Neurodivergent) employees. I, for one, am shouting from the rooftops and I am ready to support those who, like me, celebrate difference.

3. Diagnosis 

Whether you decide to go for assessment or not the very idea can cause a lot a stress and anxiety. I went into a shutdown for a few days building up to my second assessment because the first one was unsatisfactory and over medicalised. Feelings of imposter syndrome and anxiety about what it might mean are common. 

After diagnosis there may be many complex feelings to work through like shock, grief and identity issues. I felt validated, had feelings of loss and a realisation that I had not been mentally ill, just wired differently. 

Many people self diagnose which is just fine or go to private Assessors who may be Neurodivergent themselves with decades of experience. This is what I did and it was an incredible experience. 

4. Co-occurring Conditions 

As a Neurodivergent person you may be dyslexic, Tourettes, autistic, ADHD, have dyspraxia or dyscalculia or OCD. More conditions are being added as further research is carried out about those of us who are wired differently. You many identify with one condition or have more than one. You can add Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, Pathalogical Demand Avoidance and HSP (Highly Sensitive Person). 

5. Mental health and Neurodivergence 

I spent many years thinking I was mentally unwell. My differences were not picked up by Counsellors. Years of masking helped however I was exhibiting neurodivergent behaviours which were explained during Therapy but not recognised as ND.  Understanding I was actually wired differently led me to rewrite my life story. Misunderstandings, faux pas, difficulty communicating, sensory issues, burnout, frustration, emotional deregulation.

All of the above can lead to trauma, stress, anxiety and depression, addictions, eating disorders, suicidal ideation and identity issues. A good Counsellor can help you work through your difficulties. Some personality disorders like Bipolar and Boarderline Personality Disorder turn out to be autism and often people with ADHD are given meds for depression and anxiety. Medicalising Neurodivergence is another topic altogether. 

6. Mind and Body connection 

It is common for Neurodivergent people to exist with 

Asthma

Auto immune disorders

ME

Fybromyalgia

Migraines

Stomach issues

Sleep problems

Eating disorders 

and more... 

7. Your Empathetic Counsellor 

There is a school of thought that says autistic people lack empathy so how can they be good Counsellors? Many Neurodivergent people have so much empathy that it can become overwhelming. I am a Human Givens Psychotherapist (Counsellor) and have received in-depth training on how to build rapport, actively listen and be genuinely empathetic. I am fascinated by people and behaviour so this special interest in itself can be seen as empathic. 

8. Attention to detail 

This is a superpower for many Neurodivergent Counsellors. We will leave no stone unturned to get to the bottom of our clients' difficulties so when our sessions are concluded our clients often feel completely satisfied and leave positive testimonials which are so rewarding to read. 

We are concerned only with the details our clients feel happy to share with us. This gives a feeling of safety and helps our clients with trust and opening up when they are ready. 

9. Emotions

Many of our clients have difficulties with regulating feelings an emotions. It is important to find a Counsellor who is not trying to change normal neurodivergent behaviour or different ways of thinking. Setting goals to feel more calm and happy and practising mindfulness and breathing techniques work far better. A person-centred, humanistic therapy type is very beneficial.

10. The Counsellor/Client Relationship 

A Neurodivergent client often works very well with a Neurodivergent Counsellor. There is a kinship and special understanding. As with all relationships people are individuals and we don't always click with everybody, Neurodivergent or not. A complimentary 20 minute initial phone/Zoom consultation can be a good way to ensure the therapeutic relationship will be a positive experience for both client and Counsellor. 

"Everyone is different. Not all Neurodivergent people are the same." It's something Neurodivergent Counsellors really understand. If you want to get great support, attention to detail and a good listener, you can go far with Therapists who are wired differently and have your best interests truly at heart!

Sally Nilsson lives in Reigate, near Dorking, Surrey and sees clients at her home or at her Therapy Practice in Brockham. She also offers Walk Talk Therapy and online Therapy using Zoom. Please visit www.freshstart.me.uk for more details