Ten Painful Lessons That Life Has Taught Me

Celebrating my daughter’s 23rd birthday got me thinking about how much I’ve experienced since I was the same age. If I had known then what I know now I would have saved myself a lot of heartache!

George Bernard Shaw famously quoted “Youth is wasted on the young.” The experiences and lessons in life can take years to gather. The pain of disappointment and repeated failures cause the fairy-tale illusions of our childhood to fall away and reveal nuggets of wisdom. In these moments we learn so much about ourselves and life in general.

If I’m being honest I do have regrets about some of the choices that I have made, the decisions that I took and the missed opportunities that I failed to recognise. I would love to sit down with my 23 year old daughter, Rose and share what I’ve learned so that she can experience a better, happier life. Yet I recognise that she views me as an eccentric throwback to the last century and assumes that I know nothing and haven’t really learned to live properly. In her eyes I’m just her crazy mother!

So instead of a cosy fireside chat with Rose, I’ll share the biggest lessons I’ve learned with you. There may be one or two that might give you a new empowering perspective around your own life. There may be some here that you too have learned along the way. There may be some lessons that you’ve learned that you’d like to share so please do. The opportunities to learn throughout our lives are abundant and full of possibilities. Enjoy my top ten lessons in life!

1.You don’t have to have the perfect body to be loved, honoured and appreciated. Who you are inside will radiate and determine your level of attractiveness. When your heart is filled with love, acceptance and compassion your body is at its most beautiful.

2.Your biggest challenges carry the potential for accelerated emotional and spiritual growth. Even though we often can’t relate to this at the time, many of us will look back on some of our darkest moments and recognise that we learned so much about who we are and why we are here.

3.You can’t change anyone else. Nobody changes anything unless they want to. The only thing that you can change is how people cause you to feel. When you change your perspective of another person you change the way you feel inside.

4.Holding onto negative emotions relating to other people or your past will drain your energy and disempower your potential. If you are experiencing moments when your emotional reaction is out of proportion to what is actually happening then you are reacting with the backing of your suppressed or buried emotional baggage.

5.Regardless of how carefully you wash it, white underwear will always go grey. Choose any colour but white so that you don’t have to witness too many shades of grey. What you wear underneath your clothes has an impact on how you feel. Allow the metaphor of your undergarments to uplift and rejuvenate your energy.

6.Honest communication in all situations is the only way to go. Holding back or not expressing how you feel and what you really want will keep you incarcerated within the prison of your ego mind. So often we form assumptions about what the other person feels or means. We imagine all sorts of reasons why they act as they do BUT we don’t really know. When we speak our truth with sensitivity, we empower others to do the same.

7.Sex is like a bar of chocolate. Each piece is delicious but if you eat the whole bar you’ll feel sick. Without an emotional connection and a deep sense of self-respect any physical intimacy will be tainted by the superficial illusion of connection that will leave you feeling lonely and isolated.

8.Be grateful for what you have. Every emotion we experience creates a vibration that we transmit into the world. Feeling thankful and grateful is one of the most powerful frequencies we can experience. At the beginning and end of every day, regardless of how much crap you are going through, search hard for reasons in your own life to feel thankful. When you look for the good you’ll always find it.

9.You have the power to heal the world. Every time you heal a part of your own emotional psyche you impact on the overall vibration of this Planet. We are all part of the great ocean of ‘oneness’. Even though we are a single drop of that ocean, we are still the ocean. Everything we think, say and do affects everything. Your commitment to being the highest and best version of yourself helps everyone else to be the same.

10.Love and accept yourself for all your imperfections because it is in those quirky little things you perceive as ‘less than perfect’ is what makes you uniquely perfect. You are a magnificent human being and when you have the courage to be true to who you really are inside, you shine like the brightest star in the darkest night. If you don’t love yourself then how can you truly learn to accept love from others? How can you truly love others if love does not live within your own heart?

As you embark upon another day within the adventure of your own life, take a moment to reflect on what lessons you’ve learned that have define the person you are today.