TEN LESSONS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME

I cannot believe that we are already at day 9. When I started out I wasn’t sure if I would be able to make it to the end. Your comments, text messages and phone calls have been so heart warming and encouraging. Most of you have enjoyed the life lessons I have been sharing and passed them on. I was especially touched by a friend who told me she really wanted to share the lessons with her sisters but because they not on Linked in she has had to take screen shots for them to read and follow along. That’s a heart that says “ I care about you, I want you to learn what I am learning and grow with me. “ A big thank you to everyone that has shared these lessons and built someone else up in the process. You are sharing my mom’s story and this way her life is blessing many people whom she never met.

I started off sharing Mom’s salvation journey. We then moved on to the important subject of getting married and staying married. Giving was a big part of Mom’s life so we dived right into that as well. And to be able to give you must plan ahead and never have an empty purse, so I shared this too. We considered the benefits of having the right attitude and not complaining. I was pleased to share about loving family and how Mom fought injustice fearlessly. As I continued to celebrate the life my mother lived I am reminded of many memories and moments. I have sought to share some of these with you and also share a lesson that I have learned from my mother’s life.

Today I thought it might be beneficial for you if you also heard from my siblings. I was curious to know what lessons my siblings would say they learned from mommy so I made a few calls and asked for contributions to this article. I believe that there are some interesting lessons here.

Today’s lesson is:

Lesson 9: Be strong, Organized and Live Life to the Fullest

Mommy was a very strong woman. One of my elder sisters told me how Mom drove to the hospital to deliver her children. For six of her eight children, Mom drove herself to hospital, had the delivery and drove back home. In fact, when she was going to have her last born baby, she decided to first visit a patient in another ward in the same hospital.

Mommy had the strength to be a mother. Mom was not afraid to teach her children to work hard. Later my elder sisters would always remind Mom of how she had arranged their routine to include doing chores immediately after waking up. The chores such as sweeping the yard were done before going to school. In the afternoon when they returned home for lunch they had to first wash the dishes before they returned to school for their afternoon lessons.

Mom used to discipline her children. She never hesitated to crack the whip when it was needed. I recall her and Daddy disciplining one of my elder sisters. Being the youngest girl, I was always moved to tears and would also cry along as if I too had been disciplined. I had no idea why I was crying but seeing them cry after being disciplined made me cry too.

Mommy loved to look good. She often said “you can never be smart when your hair is not in order, hair brings out one's beauty.” On one of the occasions when I was looking after Mommy in hospital after she received treatment and when she was feeling better we were discharged . The next day I drove by her home to check on my patient. When I arrived I was alarmed to find her seated, her hair dresser was busy working on her curls. I said “Mommy ,“”what is this? Why are you doing your hair when you just left the hospital? Shouldn’t you be resting?” Her response was hilarious. She said, “Daddy called the hair dresser”. Daddy loved it when Mom looked good . All through the time she was ill, he would ensure that her hair was properly curled and dyed. As my Dad was growing grey my mother continued to keep her hair black. For this reason grandchildren referred to my parents as Jaja black and Jaja white because of the color of their hair. Jaja Black remained true to her name . Her hair was black and curly and Dad used to comb it for her each morning . Mommy always wore the same perfume ( Charlie).

If you were a girl and she found you bathing with bar soap she would start ranting ,” what sort of woman will you be , how can you use mukwano to bathe ? “

Mommy loved to wear the gomesi. She always wore watching earrings and necklace and shades. When I was on campus I would often borrow her jewelry.

Mom taught my sisters to be organized even when they hang clothes on the clothes line. She felt that the manner in which you hang your clothes depicts who you really are.

Mom used to warn us about matching our clothes right . She used to joke that some people wear designer tops and lousy bottoms and they end up looking like clowns .

Mom was a wonderful home maker. She told one of my sisters that “ a house does not belong to the house maid but to the wife so before going to sleep one must put her house in order”. Mom used to marvel if she walked into someone’s home and it was mayhem . Even if they had toddlers , she felt that it was not an excuse for untidiness. The house had to be clean and very well kept .

Mommy really respected her in-laws. Whenever we came together for a meal , she would get the gizzard and reserve it for her sons-in-law ( the gizzard is considered a delicacy and was preserved for the special guest ). One day something hilarious happened , Mommy hired someone to slaughter chicken for her, she assumed the young man was honest. When she cooked she did not realize that the gizzard was missing , she was alarmed to find that the young man made off with the gizzard . She felt extremely embarrassed.

When I got married , Mom pointed her finger at me and warned me, “Never visit your mother in law empty handed.” However little you have , you must spare something for your mother in law.

One day in conversation I referred to my mother in law as “Jack’s mother.” Mommy who was within earshot could have slapped me if she had been any closer. “ Who are you calling, Jack’s mother? Is she not your mother as well? “

Mommy loved to dance. She used to say,” When you dance you must always smile”.

Mommy always advised us to live within our means. Mommy used to live a very practical lifestyle. She never believed in excesses. If you were going on a trip and you asked her what she wanted you to buy for her, she would invariably respond, “ I have enough.” She lived a life of contentment.

With respect to marriage , Mom used to say ,” When you are thinking about getting married first look at the man's mother to see if she is a respectable person , if she is then you may go ahead and marry her son .”

Mommy believed in giving people a chance to prove themselves. She would caution us saying, ‘’do not let one persons bad manners and lack of gratitude stop you from being generous when you are dealing with some one else, give people a chance.”

These are the lessons my siblings and I learnt from Mommy . I hope it inspires all the

mothers to be all they can be , to be strong , organized and love life to the fullest .

“ Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9