Ten Commandments

In the dense jungles of the Congo, where pre-hominid apes reigned with an iron fist, disputants began plotting escape of these notorious simians, the bizarre notion of the concept "penis theft" was conceived. This jungle-inspired theft humiliated the French. When the first penis vanished in Eastern France, the sun dimmed, and the birds fell silent, ensnared in a surreal stillness. Eventually, metaphysicists declared what they deemed untenable potholes in the fabric of reality. The most intriguing manifestation of this crippling force emerged in unexpected places, where rashes often concentrated. This dimension did not abide by the rules of our world; people were indoctrinated with an inherent imbalance, a "missing piece" that could never be complete. This unfulfilled absence unexpectedly became the root of societal troubles, a mystical anomaly that drew people's most intimate attributes together in peculiar ways, like bubbles merging upon contact. An undeniable synchronization enveloped the underground fraternity dedicated to this peculiar phenomenon, which now dominated humankind. Their connection deepened, attracting them to heavy metal music with a magnetic pull, as if invisible strings dictated their every move. This perplexing force felt like an emotional tug, but it ran deeper—suggesting a corruption of the fundamental forces of the cosmos. The gravitational pull of similar entities subtly warped reality itself, activating a hidden law of attraction that brought them together in ways no one could have anticipated. It was as if their missing pieces were found yet lost, manifesting through chaotic and unusual means. Sceptics withdrew, but those brave enough to confront the phenomenon quickly realized it was not an isolated incident; it signalled something profound within their universe. Here, attraction defied conventional norms, allowing like things to literally steal from or negate one another. As time passed, more individuals noticed the strange occurrences of penis thievery in this newly inhabited dimension, coining it the "penis paradox." Few dared to admit their experiences, and while people joked about "missing pieces," the true nature of the phenomenon eluded understanding. Even the internet proved fruitless; artificial intelligence processed endlessly in vain. They simply had to adapt to a reality where attraction, in its purest and strangest form, yielded unexpected consequences. Some embraced this new norm, while others sought ways to reverse the odd laws of attraction. Yet, all agreed: the balance of existence had shifted in the most peculiar and intimate manner, marked by the walrus. The entanglement of likeness approached a critical point, monitored through the ether under metaphysical wings; the motto of salvation became, "Thou shalt not covet."