Telling Your Story: Why it matters

Recently, I read through a Harvard Business Review Special Issue on The New Rules of Networking. I came across an article originally published in January 2008, by Herminia Ibarra, and Kent Lineback, titled "What's Your Story?" Here's what I learned:

When given a few minutes to talk about yourself to someone, what do you often say? If you're like me, you probably just state off verifiable facts. Facts like, yes, you were in the service, you have a degree, you have a clearance, and you have an idea of what certifications you desire or need.

Comes out like, "I'm Garrett, I'm from California originally, I was in the Navy for 21+ years in intelligence. I have an active TS clearance, an MA degree, and a few certifications."

So what have I told the person asking? Well, I told them nothing. Nothing they can't simply gather from reading my LinkedIn profile. I didn't talk about my desires, my strengths, my vulnerabilities, because I really didn't tell a story. I answered the question as if I'm talking to law enforcement, to which, yes, I recommend only stating the facts. Get a lawyer for the rest.

Now you're in transition. You've had an identity for years, even decades for some, and now, that identity has changed. At first glance, and first few attempts, you feel as if you're different than everyone else, even though the room is full of veterans. How do you tell your story without just going on about all the crazy events you did while on liberty in foreign ports?

A story is about trust on both sides. You trust that the person is listening, and they trust that you can tell a good story. Consider the basics of telling a classic story:

Are the struggles in that story relatable to the person listening? Is it a story that requires an action? Trials and tribulations? A turning point? A resolution? Good stories cover those items. Think about the plot of your favorite movie, then relate it to these questions. It's the basics of a beginning, a middle, and an end. Think of it like how your past relates to your future and how those experiences help you help others. Think about what motivates you, what gets you really excited. Is it helping people? Providing business solutions? Solving complex problems?

Transition isn't something that is only happening to military veterans and spouses. In today's workforce, and in the wake of a recent pandemic, the work force is changing. Former executives are now having to find a new identity and it starts with being able to tell a story.

When telling your story, make sure it's coherent, and it cites reasons for wanting what you want. When telling your past, relate it to the future you're looking for. Practice this story. Tell it multiple times until you can recite it without any looks of nervousness, which is natural when learning how to do something more effective. Don't start your story with "Well I got (insert whatever negative event happened here)." Passion is okay. I recommend it. Anger and resentment are not.

The most difficult part of telling a story is first asking yourself what you want. Knowing what you want is critical and it will be obvious to the person you're speaking to if you have not really answered this question yet. It starts there. Yes, it's a difficult question. You're not alone. I struggle with that question too.

So, what's your story????

Ibarra, H., Linebeck, K. "What's Your Story?" Harvard Business Review Special Edition, Fall Issue 2022.