#TellAllTuesdays: Redefining Excellence

Navigating leadership as a woman and/or Black and Brown professional often feels like walking a tightrope between empowerment and survival. There’s a constant pull between pursuing excellence and ensuring collective liberation. We've risen through the ranks despite systems that were never designed for us, and we know what it’s like to be spoken over, sidelined, and undervalued. The journey to the top is often paved with scars. We find ourselves toeing a fine line—being celebrated for our achievements while knowing that true progress is not measured by our individual accolades but by our ability to dismantle barriers for others.

But as we step into positions of influence and power, a crucial question emerges: How do we lead differently? How do we avoid replicating the same harms and oppressive dynamics we fought so hard to overcome? It’s easy to be celebrated in rooms that applaud us, while those very spaces continue to build structures that exclude and undermine our communities. Can we redefine what it means to be successful? How do we pursue excellence without reinforcing the systems that demand we work twice as hard just to be considered “enough”?

Excellence and Its Double-Edged Sword

The truth is that oppression leaves an imprint. We can inadvertently perpetuate the same dynamics we’ve been fighting against without vigilance. The pursuit of excellence can uplift—but if not approached carefully, it can reinforce the toxic idea that our worth lies in perfection and hyper-visibility. It’s the image of overperformance—being twice as good, three times as accomplished—while still being met with doubt. This mindset pushes us to build impressive resumes, often at the cost of feeling authentic and whole.

It’s that moment when we’re the “first” or “only” in a room, and instead of celebrating, we wonder why there’s still just one seat at the table. In spaces where we’re told to “represent” but not to challenge, striving for excellence can become its own form of oppression.

But recognizing this reality is the first step to doing better—not just for ourselves, but for those coming up behind us. We must step back and ask ourselves: Is this excellence in service of liberation? And if it’s not, how do we shift?

The Tension: Survival vs. Solidarity

Let’s be honest—sometimes, the workplace doesn’t feel like a place to thrive; it feels like a battlefield. We’re taught to toughen up, to “do what it takes” to get that seat at the table. But in this drive to survive, some of us pick up harmful habits—expecting others to endure the same struggles we did, prioritizing perfectionism, or becoming gatekeepers to protect our own hard-won positions.

I’ve been there. In moments of frustration or burnout, I’ve felt the urge to overcorrect: to be more challenging, to demand more from my team, and to say, “If I could do it, you can too.” But this mindset isn’t solidarity—it’s a symptom of our own trauma manifesting in the spaces we’re supposed to protect and cultivate. When we carry the pain of exclusion into our leadership, we risk closing doors instead of opening them.

The goal isn’t just to get into or stay in the room. It’s about breaking down the door, building new tables, and dismantling the systems that demanded we outperform in the first place. Many of us feel this tension between excellence and solidarity acutely but rarely talk about it. We want to be recognized and rewarded, yet the endgame is much bigger than our titles or accolades.

Where Do We Go From Here?

So, how do we lead without repeating the patterns of exclusion we fought so hard against? Here’s what I’ve learned—and what I’m still learning—about navigating this delicate balance:

1. Acknowledge the Trauma, But Don’t Let It Define Your Leadership - We can’t heal what we don’t acknowledge. Recognize how the impacts of racism, sexism, and classism shape our responses and management styles. Use this awareness as a compass—not as a burden. Transform the frustration of our own struggles into empathy and understanding, fostering a nurturing environment where people feel safe and supported.
2. Embrace a Restorative Approach Over a Retributive One - We often default to retributive leadership: pointing out mistakes, punishing errors, or using critique as a control mechanism. On the other hand, a restorative approach asks: How can we learn, grow, and move forward together? Instead of hyper-focusing on who did what wrong, prioritize shared problem-solving and mentorship.
3. Make Excellence a Means, Not an End - Use your position and influence as a stepping stone for change, not as a validation of worth. Speak up, even if it’s uncomfortable. Advocate for initiatives that go beyond your professional growth and contribute to systemic change.
4. Decolonize Your Definition of Success - Don’t allow traditional markers of success to limit your impact. True success should be measured by how you use your role to create opportunities for others and redistribute resources. Ask yourself: Is my success expanding access, or am I simply occupying space?
5. Lead Through Listening and Learning - True solidarity means understanding that our experiences, while valid, are not universal. Leadership is not about asserting our story over others’—it’s about creating room for every story to be told and honored. Commit to being a constant learner and listener, and approach leadership as a collaboration.

Leading for Liberation

Leading beyond trauma and oppression is not easy. It takes intention, self-reflection, and a commitment to do better for our communities. As women and BIPOC leaders, we have the unique opportunity—and responsibility—to break cycles of harm. Our leadership must be a tool for liberation, not replication.

The balance between excellence and liberation is a delicate one, but it’s achievable when we remember this: We’re striving to outgrow the very systems that have confined us. Excellence must become synonymous with lifting others as we rise. It should be about collective movement forward, not just individual achievement.