Tell your story
Dr. Rachel Schelble
Owner and Proprietor Oakland Creek Vineyards | Vice President Oakland Economic Development | 2023 Oil & Gas Investor’s 25 Influential Women in Energy | Finding Purpose on the Path Blog
My grandmother passed away a couple of months ago. She had not been in good health and was well into her 80’s, so her passing did not come as a surprise. At her funeral we looked at photos of her – the highlights of her life as we remembered them. It wasn’t until I got home and the house was still and quiet that I cried and felt a profound sense of loss.
In the morning something was nagging at me. In the days that followed I began to realize that one of the reasons that I felt so much loss was that I had lost someone who knew me. People know parts of our stories; however, my sense of loss was that I had lost someone who knew my whole story from its beginning. While it’s impossible to replace someone who knows our whole stories, this experience has made me reflect on how we need to not hold back – we need to share our stories.
Let yourself be seen
When I am feeling “not okay” there are two waging factions within me – one that wants to hide that I am “not okay,” and the other that compels me to want to tell someone. The desire to hide our struggles and the urge to share them reflect the internal struggle we face during these challenging times. Brené Brown writes in her book Daring Greatly that “we love seeing raw truth and openness in other people, but we’re afraid to let them see it in us.”
When someone courageously shares their raw truth and opens up about their experiences, it often resonates with us and creates a sense of connection and empathy. We admire their bravery and find comfort in knowing that we are not alone in our struggles and insecurities.
However, when it comes to exposing our own vulnerability, we often feel apprehensive. We fear judgment, rejection, or being perceived as weak. This fear of being seen and judged can lead us to present a carefully curated version of ourselves, concealing our true thoughts, feelings, and experiences, and robbing ourselves of true connection.
Sharing our authentic selves opens the door to create genuine connections with others. Opening up about our struggles, fears, and imperfections allows others to see and accept us as we are, fostering deeper relationships and a greater sense of belonging.
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Fearing what people think
Brené Brown writes in her book Daring Greatly that “we can’t let ourselves be seen if we’re terrified by what people might think.” It takes courage to be vulnerable and show up as our genuine selves.
The fear of others' opinions can hinder our ability to show up authentically in the world. When we are preoccupied with worrying about how we will be perceived or judged, we may feel compelled to hide our true selves or present a fa?ade to protect ourselves from potential criticism or rejection.
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We cannot control how others perceive us; however, we can create opportunities for deeper connections and more meaningful relationships. This means letting go of the fear of judgment and surrounding ourselves with people who accept and appreciate us as we are.
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Bearing the weight of our stories
My favorite quote from Brené Brown’s book Daring Greatly is that “connectivity means sharing our stories with people who have earned the right to hear them – people with whom we’ve cultivated relationships that can bear the weight of our story.”
People who have demonstrated the capacity for empathy, compassion, and non-judgment and are individuals who are willing to listen, understand, and support us without trying to fix or minimize our experiences have earned the right to hear our stories.
Earning this right involves establishing trust, vulnerability, and a deep sense of connection. It entails developing relationships where both parties feel safe, supported, and free from judgement. By sharing our stories with individuals who have earned this privilege, we can experience a genuine sense of connection and belonging.
What brings meaning to our lives
Sharing our stories can help solidify our most meaningful moments and enhance our sense of purpose. When we articulate and share our stories of what brings meaning to our lives, it can cause us to reflect on our experiences, values, and beliefs, helping us to gain a deeper understanding of ourselves, our passions, and what truly matters to us.
When we share our stories, we have the potential to inspire and positively impact others. Our experiences and the meaning we find in our lives can serve as examples and models for others who may be searching for their own sense of purpose and fulfillment. By openly sharing our stories, we can offer insights, encouragement, and inspiration to others on their own journeys.
Our feelings and struggles are part of the human condition. We often find solace and comfort in the words of those who speak and write in ways that remind us that we are not alone. Feeling a sense of connection and understanding through someone else's words can be transformative. It reminds us that our thoughts, feelings, and challenges are shared by others, and we are not isolated in our experiences.
So, share your stories, develop deeper connections, and embrace what it means to be authentic, real, and human. Tell your stories.
Senior Reservoir Engineer| Google Certified Data Analyst| Data Modeler| R| Tableau| Advanced Excel|SQL
1 年Rachel Schelble, PhD, thank you for another great piece, and sorry to learn about the loss of your grandmother. The key is not to get discouraged if you don't make a true connection the first time you share your story, it may seem like the easy thing to do but doing so might deprive you of making true deeper connections down the road. Developing deeper connections by telling our stories can help address the alarm recently raised by the Surgeon General about the devastating impact of the epidemic of loneliness and isolation in the United States. Looking forward to the next article.
President Summit Oak Cliff
1 年In the spring of 1983, in the dusty Exxon Midkiff field office of West Texas, a friend and electrical foremen, Glenn, was helping me move some equipment. There was an old water cooler in our way that had been broken for years. Glenn decided to move it out of the way and, as he wrestled with it, he was surprised to learn that the water line was still connected; and the line broke off inside the wall; and there was still water pressure on the line. As we stood there looking at the water pouring through that hole in the wall Glenn looked at me and said, "Some days I think I'm worth more money and some days I'm just glad to have a job!". Still today, 40 years later, that line reminds me that we all have good days and bad days and, in the bad days, we can give ourselves a bit of grace. A new day will come.