TELL YOUR CHILDREN THAT THEY LOOK GOOD

PLEASE ADMIRE THEM, ESPECIALLY HER!

I wonder why many parents admire other people's children but find it difficult to admire theirs. 

Some are secret admirers; they really admire their children but find it difficult to openly tell them that they look good.

 Mum/Dad, please admire your children and boldly tell them what they want to hear - that they are cute, elegant, smart, neat, etc. Do this regularly, especially to your daughters.

There are many predators out there who are ready to idolize your daughter with words of praise rising from dangerous admiration. A lot of young girls have fallen prey to both online and offline predators, just because the monsters kept washing their head with fake words of affirmation.

Even if your child's love language is not words of affirmation, I am yet to see a youngster who doesn't feel good when they are affirmed.

Say those sweet words you are good at pouring on other people's children to your own child and watch how their countenance lightens immediately.

Your daughter wants to hear that she is cute, queenly, pretty, elegant, etc. If she doesn't hear it from you, she will hear it from some gold diggers out there.

Your son wants you to tell him that he is amazing, smart, intelligent, caring, trailblazer, etc. If you do not tell him, the cult members out there, seductresses, yahoo boys, etc., will tell him.

Why do you find difficult to verbalise your admiration of your child? Do you think it will get into their head? You are wrong sir/ma.

??It will make them feel good and accepted. 

??It will draw them closer to you. 

??It will make them to feel at home, trust you and open up to you.

?Dad, how I wish that the next time a guy says to your daughter, "Hi, you are pretty. I love you". She will respond, " I know. My dad already told me"

?Mum, won't you like your son to join you in the kitchen one of these days and say to you, "Some boys in our school gathered around, and were telling me how smart I am; they said that I am this, this and that. But I simply told them that my mum has been saying that".

?Even if your daughter is not a dazzling beauty, or your son is not that cute, they are fearfully and wonderfully made, all the same. That is what the Bible says and I know it is true!

?There must be something uniquely beautiful about that child. It may be their dentition, hair, finger nails, voice, eye lashes, or just anything. Project that singular thing and make them feel good.

A teen boy jokingly remarked one day, " Come to think of it, nobody has ever called me baby in this house. And it is not difficult nah! Just call me baby". The people with him laughed over it, but he may be saying the true feelings of his heart in a mild way.

One of the problems a lot of teenagers have with their parents is this is issue of no affirmation but constant berating.

I was thinking of a way to find out something very personal from my teen son, and I knew that getting that guy to talk is as easy as climbing a muddy hill after the rain. So, I resorted to affirmation; I first affirmed his calm and fine looking face then asked him how he is coping with all those girls in his school. That simple approach opened the tap and it ran till I got enough water for the day.

I call my daughter, My First Lady. When she started feeling that she was too slim, I started calling her a Model. Before long she told that some girls in her school said that she looks like a model. That made me to win additional trophy - my judgement is now trusted since her friends said the same thing. One day I forced her to wear a blazer on top of her blouse because the weather was cold, she reluctantly did so but her countenance dropped. While she was still frowning I told her that she looked like an air hostess. Her countenance immediately lifted and from that day, the blazer became a part of her dressing normally. 

What am I trying to say? 

??Your children need to hear from you that they are good and wonderful. 

??If you fail to tell them, strangers will. And if that happens strangers may win their heart and turn them against you.

One of the literature books I read when I was in the secondary school was "So Long A Letter", I think that is why I always write long posts. Forgive me for that. I will unread that book if I have the opportunity to go back to the secondary school.

But make sure your children will henceforth hear you saying good things to them.

Shalom!

?Ijeoma Igwesi

Family Life (Parenting) Coach

+2348147572512

#parenting #admiration