Tell someone how they have contributed to your life .?. . while they are still around to hear it.
Life often rushes past us, leaving us without chances to say thank you to the people who matter most. Sometimes too fast - maybe even so fast you don't get a chance to say it. And then you blink and they're gone.
In this month's newsletter, I'm taking a slight pivot and instead of talking about a book that has helped me in my career, I want to bring up a book that was a short but meaningful read that helped me from an overall standpoint on... life. "It’s Not About You" by Tom Rath reminds us of the significance of genuine connections and caring for others. I revisit passages when I can as a reminder to gain some perspective on what really matters - relationships with those closest to us.
My wake up call came during the pandemic, which showed me that life is so fragile. Unexpected losses taught me this lesson – like so many others during this time, I lost a dear family member to covid-19. It made me realize we can't predict the future. He and I always had a good relationship. He was a good man, loving father to his kids and someone who always cared for me as a father figure. He's especially on my mind this time of year because today is actually his birthday. I think the part that really gets to me is that the last time I saw him at a family function, I really took it for granted and thought that I would see him again soon. Maybe not next week, but surely once another birthday or big family occasion came around. And it hadn't really hit me that my interaction with him, a regular goodbye at a family party was the last time I would see him. Obviously this hit our family quite hard. But looking back at it now - I didn't really get a chance to express what he meant to me or tell him how I looked up to him and admired him and the impact he had on my life. These days, I try my best to tell those around me, whether its family, friends, colleagues, mentors and peers just how much they mean to me. I try to do this in quick conversational moments when it seems right or even taking a few minutes to stop to write someone a short note. It's really shifted the way I think about my relationships.
Just saying thank you can make our relationships stronger and fill us with warmth. "It’s Not About You" tells us to think of others, and showing gratitude is a big way to do that. When we say thanks, we're not just saying kind words – we're also saying how much someone has affected our lives. The book also reminds us that what we do matters to others. Waiting to say thanks could mean we never get the chance. Life can surprise us, so it's important to share our feelings while we still can.
What I've learned recently and have tried to implement lately - when you want to say thank you, think about how much the person you care about has made your life better. Remember what they've done and the special times you've shared together. Find a cozy place to have a sincere talk – being in a peaceful spot makes your conversation more real. Use words that truly come from your heart to show how much you appreciate them. Let your feelings show through your words. Perhaps you can share stories that are personal and show why this person means so much to you. These stories make your thank you even more special. Maybe you could explain how their help or influence has brought good changes into your life, like learning new things, finding opportunities, or feeling happy.
Saying thanks doesn't just make one person happy – it spreads good feelings to everyone around. This idea is at the heart of the book "It’s Not About You" – when we care about others, the world becomes a kinder, more understanding place.
Every moment counts. You don't need a special reason to say thank you. Call, have a heart-to-heart talk, or write a letter to show your loved ones how much you value them. Your thanks will brighten their day and leave a lasting mark on your relationship.
In a world where our busy lives can distract us from what matters, "It’s Not About You" teaches us to treasure meaningful connections. Sharing gratitude, especially with our loved ones, is a big part of that. Remember, words and feeling of thanks to those close to you have a lot of power, and expressing gratitude is a heartfelt gift that makes both you and the person you thank feel special. So, don't wait – take the chance to show your appreciation and honor those who've touched your life.
Thank you, Tom Rath ????
And thank YOU for reading ... yes, you ??
Did you like this newsletter edition? If so, please consider subscribing, and sharing with someone you feel might need it, and let's connect!