Tell Me About Yourself

An extract from the forty-first Gavel Club Toast Master Session.

“Tell me about yourself” That’s a question asked by a potential employer or client, a question asked by a stranger, or a date on the first encounter. All eager to hear your story. How do you define yourself? Does it matter who is asking, or why?

Do you answer the question the same way on your date, as your interviewer? Do you tell your date you’re a hard-working self-driven individual who can deliver work under pressure, or do you tell your interviewer how much you love watching romantic movies and that your love language is receiving gifts? How about at a professional networking event? Do you start your story from when your girlfriend dumped you because you wouldn’t introduce her to your parents? Or how mad you were when your boyfriend forgot your birthday?

How much of your story are you willing to share? Will you conveniently clip out and tape the good parts and shove the rest under the doormat? What makes you, you? Is it your values and goals, your looks, your intelligence, your likes, and red flags? Or is it the formal attributes like your name, gender, and social status?

Ice Breaker Speech

In Makerere Gavel club, the first speech each member is tasked to give is an icebreaker speech. In this speech, you’re given 6 minutes to tell us about yourself, 6 minutes to compress 2 or so decades of your life, and let the audience know who you are, where you’re from, where you are now, and where you’re going. It’s only you who can tell your story most accurately, you’re the observer as well as the main character, the narrator as well as the architect. What is your story?

Other Speech projects?

After the icebreaker speech, a member is at liberty to give any other speech on a topic of interest. The rest of your speech projects also say a lot about who you are. Every time you open your mouth to speak, you give off tiny bits and pieces of who you are. It’s in the topics that light your eyes up when you speak about them and the beliefs you stand for. Every time you speak, you tell the audience who you are.

What if Your Story isn't Interesting?

Is your story even interesting or worth telling? Most of the stories people consider interesting are those of nights out, at a bar, or a road trip. What if you’ve always been an in-door child, is your story still worth listening to? Stories of how you traveled the world and traversed the minds of great men and women through books, stories of how you found tranquility when you indulged in your craft or how your personal space as your sanctuary.?

Everyone has an interesting story to tell. The thrill seekers who found happiness through exploring the outdoors, the self-reserved creatives who found happiness in artistic expression, the story of the man who only found freedom when he quit his 9-5 job to follow his passion, or the woman who only found meaning when she bore her first child.?

A story about how a devastating break-up put you on a quest for self-discovery, or how exploring your sexuality helped you understand yourself better. Everyone has an interesting story to tell. You just have to listen.

Humility vs Self-promotion

Humility is a virtuous trait. It keeps you a continual learner, it keeps your ego in check, lest you end up an irritating show-off. But how about in moments when you need to stand up to be counted, moments when you need to put yourself out there and share something with the world, times when you need to tell your story and express your worth and grab those opportunities?

Putting yourself out there and standing out isn't easy. It exposes you to judgment, rejection, and failure. It's an unnerving leap that takes courage.

Sometimes it might be easier to sell yourself short, or not tell anyone about yourself entirely. You tell them whatever you're working on is “no big deal" or “you're not that good" just to sound modest. Sometimes it's fear disguised as humility.

Do not use humility as an excuse to sell yourself short, or as an escape from things you know you should be reaching out for. You should be humble, but you should also know when to stand up and express your value, to put up your hand and tell the world who you are and what you can do.

Stories About Struggles?

Sometimes it's enriching when you tell a personal story of your struggles, stories that show the not-so-perfect side of you are important.

The risk of vulnerability is being judged; People might think you're weak for sharing your struggle with mental health, or a waste for sharing your history of drug abuse. However, from my experience, the harshest judge is our minds. Most people can relate to your struggles. Because they too know how it feels like to be imperfect.

A while back, I was unfortunately involved in a sports accident, one that ground my aspirations in sports to a halt. Being an athlete has always made up a big part of my life and identity. Without it, I felt kind of lost.? Then I came across one of the most impactful stories I've had the privilege of listening to, the story of inky Johnson (link), a former American football player whose career was ended by a sporting accident that culminated in a near-death experience. He was fortunate enough to survive, however, he lost all function of his right arm, from the shoulder down. He now found a new purpose inspiring people using his story. That story showed me someone who had been through far worse than me and made me realize that if he could get through his ordeal, so could I. Stories of struggle inspire people who are currently in their darkest times. ?

When you share your stories of struggle, it shows that beyond the facade is someone less than perfect, someone, vulnerable, someone once broken, someone with scars from a harsher past, a real human being.?

Personal Experience?

When I started writing blog posts, I didn't have years of experience in psychology, philosophy, or sociology, all I had was my personal experiences and that’s what I wrote about. I didn’t directly use my name, but they were mostly stories distilled from personal experience. I didn’t do it in the capacity of a righteous one and the judge of right and wrong, I did it in the capacity of a humble learner trying to make sense of his experiences. I was both the one who was afflicted and the messenger of hope. It was always me trying to calibrate my moral campus and discover myself. But the way other people related to my experiences was overwhelming. Those personal messages about how my stories had an impact on someone at their low moment. You'd be surprised how much people resonate with your story.

Finally?

Our personal stories are how we make sense of our experiences, otherwise, life would be a meaningless series of highs and lows. Stories help weave our experiences together into something meaningful; a tale of growth, a hero's journey into the depths of darkness only to emerge triumphant.?

In the words of Dominic colenso; “When we tell our stories, they resonate in the hearts and minds of the people we interact with”?(link)

That is what leaves a lasting impression.?