TEL #009: Self-Leadership: The hardest type of leadership

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Have you ever had a leader try to lead you yet were a mess themselves?

How was that experience? It was probably a mess, right?

It's an oxymoron that someone seeking to lead others is poor at leading themselves.

Yet, this is exactly what we do when we lead.

We focus 1st on how to lead others or teams and gloss over our self-leadership.

Acting like our personal lives, discipline, and management are all divorced from our outward leadership.?

However,

Most people who follow you first notice how you lead yourself and base their trust on their perception of your personal management.

The simple truth is that leading others is directly connected to your ability to lead yourself.

To be sure, leading other people involves different skills than leading oneself.

AND

Self-leadership is the foundation on which you base your leadership other others. You can't overlook this foundation.

So how do you grow in self-leadership? Here are some practical suggestions:

1. Pick a challenge that indirectly impacts all areas of your life

For me,

I wanted to grow in discipline and elevate my capacity to be focused for longer doing hard things.

I chose to sign up for a marathon to push myself.

Over 4 months of training and prepping for the marathon increased my ability to be disciplined in my body, calendar schedule, diet, and fiancial budget.

I had to be a lot more disciplined in the other areas of my life to make the marathon happen.

As a result, I sharpened my self-discipline, which showed up in my leadership and leadership responsibilities.

Find something that you believe would indirectly impact other areas of your life.

This could be something physical, intellectual, relational, etc.

Find the challenge that fits with your season and lifestyle.

2. Create a rule of life that maximizes rest and sustainability

The longer in leadership I've been,

The greater the need to recover, replenish, and rest.

Leaders have a bad habit of running too fast for too long or hard, burn themselves out, and are no good for anyone.

Creating a "rule of life" is essential to making sure you are building habits that are life-giving to you.

Typically you are pouring out so much to other people that filling yourself up is crucial.

Create a rule of life that fills up the buckets of?

-relational

-emotional

-spiritual

-physical

-intellectual

Cementing those self-commitments will give you stamina in the long run, and your team will feel permission to rest and create time for personal self-care.

Block off time with close friends,

Create time for solitude

Block off time to go for runs and go to the gym

Block off time to read books

Block off time to go to counseling

All of these rules of life will sustain you, and give you life in the midst of leading others.

3. Respect human limitations

The cultural mantra of "push past your limits," "hustle culture," and "be all things to all people" create pressure to extend your limits.

To sleep less

To do more

To take on more responsibility

To fill the calendar with more commitments

All these things stretch leaders beyond their human limitations and create leaders who lead organizations but lose their "soul" or humanity in the process.

Leaders who are great at self-leadership have a keen awareness of their limitations, create boundaries, and have no problems to saying "no" to extra commitments.

Less is more in leadership.

People respect leaders who can focus, be fully present and are humble enough to admit they have limits.

What are the limits in your life that you are constantly pushing past? What is one corrective action you can take to respect that limit?

Start saying no more

Start to create margin in your calendar

Start to delegate responsibility you can't handle

In the end, remember that your ability to lead others is directly connected to your ability to lead yourself.

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What have you seen to be effective in growing in self-leadership??

I would love to hear your thoughts!

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Resources

Gettin' (un)Busy: 5 Steps to Kill Busyness and Live with Purpose, Productivity, and Peace

Crafting a Rule of Life: An Invitation to the Well-Ordered Way

Boundaries for Leaders (Enhanced Edition): Results, Relationships, and Being Ridiculously In Charge

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