Teens, Parents, and Internet Safety

As the parent of two teenagers, I try hard to ensure that my children have everything they need to become productive members of society; a good education, strong moral values, team sports and solo physical activities to develop a sense of community and fair play, and the self-confidence they need to succeed in their studies and their lives. This generation of children are growing up with one more factor that seems almost entirely out of my control: their online personas, relationships and experiences. I know I am not alone in this, as most parents are struggling to keep up with all the elements of their daily lives and contributing the well-being of their children. With everything else we have to keep on top of, we are barely able to keep track of what digital platforms our teens might be on, let alone being knowledgeable enough to able to help navigate potential issues that may (will) arise.

Our teens find themselves on new technology platforms every day, keeping up with their friends and socializing, sharing personal information and thoughts, and taking and uploading photos of themselves and each other. They share their creative successes and their frustrations, stories, poetry, jokes, and memes, operating freely and openly with their families, friends, and acquaintances, as well as with those they may barely know or may not really know at all. Where adults may have a lower threshold of trust for people we do not know, teens on the other hand often have no such inhibition – a picture of someone they are chatting with may be all they have ever actually seen of them. What young adults don’t realize is that there can be some very real dangers lurking on the other side of that cute guy’s photo, that too-good-to-be-true text message, or that seemingly official request for your PIN from your mobile service provider.

How prevalent is this problem? Just consider cyberbullying: according to PEW Research, “…fully 67% of?teens?who are online almost constantly have been?cyberbullied, compared with 53% of those who use the internet several times a day”. My daughter was the subject of debilitating cyber-bullying on Instagram from friends-turned-enemies, because she ignored the romantic advances of a boy from her school. The horrible things these boys said and the suffering she endured was incredibly traumatic, but she didn’t tell us; the accidental reason we discovered the issue was we noticed her crying quietly on the couch. When confronted she told us everything. Had we not noticed it, she may have gone on without the emotional help she needed to navigate this issue. This is just one of hundreds of potential risks that young people face online every day.

Then you have seemingly innocuous and “protected” online platforms who group children by their age (you have to self-report as a child to fall into these categories). Just because someone is your age (or pretends to be) doesn’t mean they have your interests in mind. For example, my son recently asked me to buy a digital item for a game he was playing. For him to activate it, he required a password. After he was sent the password, he sought help from a “friend” online, who turned out to be someone he had only barely talked to before. This friend promptly stole the password and his digital item and locked him out of his own account. Not only did he lose real money, his digital item, and his account, but he was completely distraught that someone he blindly trusted took advantage of him. This kind of thing is happening to children all around the World.

When the pandemic took hold of Kenya and the planet in 2020, we all wondered what our children were going to do for schooling. Many schools creatively pivoted from in-person classes to online classes, and as parents, we were relieved that our children’s educational needs were going to be met. What we didn’t realize was that this move to online learning would become the “new normal” for our children, who never received a handbook on “How To Navigate The Internet Safely” (and us parents did not get one that said “How To Help Your Child Safely Navigate The Internet”, either). Jumping forward to today, there has been a huge increase in teens using the Internet, yes for school, but also for personal entertainment, and the platforms they are joining are enthusiastically welcoming them (as well as the potential bad actors who are lurking on these same platforms). I’m a parent concerned for my own children, and just as concerned for yours. Conveniently, I am the co-founder of a well-known media company, Akili Network (creator of Akili Kids! in Kenya), and my team and I decided to do something about it. That’s why we created Flash Squad.

If you have a teenager, you know how quick they are to dismiss the finger-wagging “don’t do this” lectures from adults, no matter how well-meaning those adults may be. Teens tend to listen to their friends and take note to situations their peers find themselves in more than adults. We thought that we could create aspirational characters, with knowledge in some digital and social subject areas, and who were funny, compassionate and unique, like the majority of teens are. We put those characters into situations where they could use their experience and empathy to help solve problems of cyber safety and security for their school, their community and each other. By telling stories of teenage vulnerability and empowerment, we could model some effective methods of navigating tough situations when they happen. Being scammed is embarrassing and can lose someone money but being made fun of or bullied can lead to longer term issues of damaged self-esteem and even rob a young person of their will to live. These are serious topics but if dealt with early on, the long-lasting damage and subsequent personal risk from that damage can be lessened. Flash Squad was meant for families to watch together, to understand that even the coolest kids get scammed, phished or bullied, and to help these teens and their parents with a basic understanding of some key mitigation strategies.

Flash Squad isn’t the only helpful tool for parents. There are relevant resources created by Google, Meta, the Communications Authority of Kenya, and others. As parents, we must take the time to familiarize ourselves with the resources that are freely available to us to help our teens be safer and more secure online (and let’s face it, we could use a little of this advice ourselves). Ask your teens what platforms they are on and if they have ever experienced a problematic situation on one of them. Have a conversation about how they felt, what they did to stop it (if anything) or if there is anything going on today that they need help with. Having meaningful conversations with our teens is the first step in helping them understand you are there for them if you need them. ?As an icebreaker, you can tune into Akili Kids! in Kenya every Friday night and watch a new episode of our original series, Flash Squad (and last week's episode is also on the Akili Kids TV YouTube channel). I believe it’s time well spent with your whole family to laugh and learn, and be safe online together.