TEDLeads. Trait #4 Listen Then Let Go.

Slight gap in time. Truth? I had this all ready to post and suffered a LinkedIn blip - lost it all. Back to Ted...

After 'making like Teflon' as a leader listen. Letting others have their say or vent angrily even if this has the power to hit home hard (or is even meant to - not necessarily in a 'healthy' way) is powerful. Letting it go and hearing the value is an art.

Listen then let go means not taking anything personally. It means putting your 'leader's ego' to one side in service of the group to invite the best outcome you can craft. Finally it's about creating safe environments where ideas and people flourish because - more heads are always better than one. And this DOES NOT mean being indecisive when the tough call has to be made.

This is about leading from behind and knowing that everyone has something to offer.

The rant, the vent, the personal attack may is just a failure to communicate kindly

what someone wants you to hear

but fears will go unheard.

How does Ted pre-empt the fear? The short answer is - he creates flat leadership structures.

Ted creates an environment where anyone and everyone is invited to chip in with their thoughts and experience – Nate the Great, Roy Kent, the whole team. Ted invites it. He recognizes that frustration festers where anyone needs to be heard and can't be.

Of course, he can't force anyone to get out of their own way. If anyone feels too scared or uncomfortable to speak it can take time for them to feel safe. Inviting others to contribute won't necessarily 'make it happen'. A leader can only offer an open invitation and wait. Ted - and no other leader - can be responsible if others won't allow themselves to contribute out of fear. They can repeatedly and consistently...

Hold The Space. If you have a team member or a peer or a boss who's been in an environment where open contribution is NOT been the norm speaking out may feel unsafe. They may struggle to say what they want to say. Repeated exposure to hierarchical environments where 'boss knows best' stifle contribution and feel unsafe. The result is some learn to 'keep schtum' and watch.

Those around a 'boss-knows-best' boss are more likely to withhold out of fear - of judgment, criticism, or watching their contribution claimed by someone else. They may be used to feeling undervalued, unseen, and unheard. And they may have learned to perpetuate this feeling. This is the side-effect of hierarchies where everyone 'has their place' and there are unspoken rules around 'permission to contribute'. These are communicated not in words but in behaviours. These environments do not produce the best results. They foster politics. They feel less safe.

In the same environments, the braver souls will continue to speak up. They are more likely to invite judgment and be labeled 'difficult' for asking the 'tough' questions or sharing forceful opinions. I hate to mention this but for any minority in a workplace hierarchy - based on gender, culture, race, etc - this is doubly problematic. I observe they are more likely to do one of two things - say nothing or contribute forcefully and become more visibly frustrated. Both behaviours invite marginalisation and everyone loses. If - as a leader - you see this on your teams or in your workplace you have a leadership responsibility to do something about it - if you care about results. And more importantly about your people.

In more hierarchical environments it is uncommon for everyone to be celebrated equally. This encourages those 'lower down the pecking order' to feel anxious about sharing ideas, and speaking up which paradoxically makes them feel unheard and undervalued.

Everyone has a 'voice'.

Let them be heard.

Let Them Speak. It's worth asking yourself if you 'run a hierarchy what behaviors you see in your reports - signs of apparent adulation, agreeing, saying 'tyes' to readily, big-noting, an over willingness to say 'yes' or nothing indicate there's 'trouble at Mill' in your environment. The best example in Ted's world? Nate the Great. Too scared to speak up, underplaying and undervaluing his knowledge and ability to contribute. So Ted clears the way - he does his first team briefing filled with sharp truths - giving the team a much-needed kick up the a*#e.

Ted expands his approach. Having empowered anyone to speak up when an aging Roy Kent - the captain - is no longer up to the physical challenge Ted's co-manager Beard and Nate jointly tell Ted. It takes two because Ted's promised Roy he won't bench him despite the fact he's under-performing on the pitch. Ted doesn't listen. He takes the opposite decision. so beard and Nate - empowered to stand up for what they believe - make it clear they disagree...very obviously. This causes Ted to reflect vs stick to his guns. And he's big enough to take the flack (from Roy) for changing his mind. Something he's wise and brave enough - as a leader to do several times. In the end - the team matters more than his ego. This is the power of listening and letting go. It's not about you, or your decisions, your apparent missteps, or wins - it's about what's best for the team, business, environment.

Courage always breeds success.

How does Ted avoid this?

Short answer -- it takes time to undo the ravages of the hierarchies past. He keeps inviting anyone to say anything - and not reacting when the way they do it is aggressive, fearful, or shaky. He listens to the words and lets the emotions be. Smart.

And he doesn't stop at individuals. Imagine your team is losing a match when you're trying something new. And it's a final. As a leader, do you stick with what looks increasingly like a failing strategy or stick with it? When Richmond tries a 'False 9 structure' and it’s not working what does Ted do. IT's half-time. Time has half run out.

He trusts those who’ve been around longer and been there, done that to know what’s best. He listens. He empowers them to act. Great strategy! He asks the team - the people who have to use the structure and deliver the result what they think. Unheard of at Richmond. They're used to the boss 'knowing' and 'telling' them what to do. Hierarchy 101. Interestingly even Nate, the architect of the new strategy, feels too scared to back himself.

Ted listens and lets go. The team's shocked. Nate's shocked when Ted asks them what to do. He invites a leader to rise and the team to rally around their collective belief - as a team. Flat hierarchy. Extraordinary result. A great outcome.

Note: Only to be used wisely and consistently. As a leader when you lean into courage, lose your ego, listen and let go, you must COMMIT to do this in every area of your leadership and do it consistently. Your team, peers, organisation need to know this is the norm AND that you will always take the big decision if it's needed. The buck does stop with you. But this doesn't mean you need to hold on so tight that it disempowers wisdom and contribution.

This is real leadership. (And a great template for any healthy relationship...)

Next up on TEDLeads - and it follows on nicely - Trait #5. Take The Tough Call.

Any questions, comments reflections are ALWAYS welcome...reach out!