A Technique for Increasing Resilience for Children of the Autism Spectrum

Many of our children on the spectrum have a great deal of difficulty with resilience. Loosing at a game or a sport they become easily upset and often tantrum when faced with a loss. This is a serious social skills problem, since as the late great sportscaster, Bill Campbell, used to say when signing of each broadcast, "A winner never quits, and a quitter never wins. But how to teach this to our earnest little kiddos.

A technique that I found effective was when we played any game Connect 4, Uno, or just shooting baskets, we never played just one game . We always played a Match or Tournament: Best of three games or Best of 5 to win the match and be the champion. At first I would be sure to have my client win the first game and then loose the second. I would explain that we were now just tied and that the next game would decide the Match. I would teach my clients not just to not tantrum but to congratulate me on my win as I had previously done to him. Then we would continue our match, My client eventually would almost always win the match and be champion for a day, despite the temporary setback of enduring one or two losses. Eventually the tantrums stopped altogether when he lost, and be replaced by renewed determination to succeed. It was wonderful to see a brittle and reactive child, over weeks and months become a patient and resilient individual.