Teaching Children to be Responsible Written by Beverly White

A year ago, a group of homeless people made a camping area across the street from Trinity Christian Educational School during the winter.? They were merely trying to ensure shelter and warmth, but in doing so, they created an eye sore.? They had made various teepees and brought nonelectrical household products and equipment to sell.? They had trash cans to burn their trash.? It took about three months for the area to be cluttered with trash, food, clothes, and other items that generally fit inside a home.? Several meetings were held to determine how the community felt about the homeless living in the area.? One community leader declared it his responsibility to ensure everyone was safe.? He was concerned that the people who lived in the homeless community would cause a fire, litter, or begin to steal from the community.? Others in the community were concerned that their property value decreased because of litter.? Ms. White, Founder of Trinity Christian Educational School, was concerned that some of the citizens of the newly developed homeless community had criminal records and/or were on the sexual registry.? She felt that the group's presence concerned her because they could cause harm to the students.? The community meetings resulted in calling authorities to remove the homeless shelter.? Though the community desired that the homeless people had shelter, they felt responsible for calling authorities to ask them to remove the homeless shelter.???

The definition of responsible that is written in the Cambridge online dictionary is to have control (influence) and authority over something or someone and the duty of taking care of it, him, or her:? It is apparent that the community cared about the homeless, but they were also concerned that the community was clean, safe, and, protected.? One 11-year-old child, who was enrolled at Trinity Christian Educational School, stated in the group of adults that she did not feel safe.? She had tears in her eyes and said that she was scared to play outside because she felt that the people who lived in the homeless community watched her. The courageous child said she wanted to help the people by helping them find another place to live.? Community leaders commended that child's parents for raising a child who cared for mankind and wanted a solution.? Her parents smiled and said we do our best to teach our child, but their child showed more responsibility now that they attended TCES.

Parents who train their children to be responsible will smile.? Children who are taught responsibility are given tools to prosper.? Trinity Christian Educational School prides itself on partnering with parents to train their children to be responsible.? TCES has observed that children trained to be responsible value being on time, taking care of personal and school property, making better grades, and having better relationships.? When children are not responsible, TCES has observed that they get angry when they are not corrected, rarely take responsibility for their actions, squander money, and get angry when they break the property of others.? This article will give Four ways parents can teach children to be responsible.

1. Partner with a school that values teaching responsibility

The old saying it takes a village to raise a child is correct.? Parents who work jobs generally spend four waking hours with their children Monday through Friday.? Their children are at school for at least seven hours.? Therefore, parents must partner with a school that teaches students to be responsible.? Some things Trinity Christian School does to show students how to be responsible are giving them chores, making time for them to clean their space, and holding them responsible when they break things. It is not helpful for parents to bail their children out of their responsibility.? If the task is theirs to complete, adults can guide them, but adults should not make it their task.? Parents think they are helpful when they stand up for their child by saying that the report card was not signed because I was busy, but they are not.? That is teaching the child to blame others.? Allow children to be disciplined for leaving their badges, not doing homework assignments, and other tasks.? This will help them learn that it is essential to complete their obligations.? Most schools are not trying to pick on children, so support the policies and regulations of the schools by holding children accountable for their actions.? In the long run, this will create responsible children.????

2.? Recognize that children often call Disobedience a Mistake

?Parents must discern the difference between disobedience and a mistake and discipline the behavior.? It is not healthy parenting to excuse a child who makes mistakes. On the flip side, it is also not healthy to harshly punish a child who deliberately did the act.? Children sometimes say they made a mistake, but the situation would not have occurred if they had been obedient.? Parents must examine issues more closely; they may discover that what looks like a mistake can be disobedience.? At TCES, a student broke several tablets.? TCES' policy is that the parent must replace any electronic equipment a student breaks.? When the parent received the bill for the 3rd tablet, she was angry and said that her child did not mean to break the tablet.? The student had told this parent that he mistakenly got water on his tablet.

The teacher in the classroom explained to the parent that she had repeatedly told the student not to run with the tablet or leave open water bottles on his desk.? She further explained that each time she asked the student not to do the behavior, the student decided to disobey and do the behavior anyway.? The teacher also told the parent that she had told the student to hold the tablet with both hands while walking around the class, but the student needed to follow the instructions.? Even after a conference with two other staff, the parent refused to see that her child was disobedient, which is why the tablets had been broken.? The parent eventually paid for the tablet, but in front of the staff, said that the TCES staff had no grace.? Later, the child was at home and broke the television because he was running through the house.? The parent came back to the staff and told them.? The parent also explained that she understood that her child had broken the tablets out of disobedience.? When the teacher consistently disciplined the child for handling the tablet inappropriately, the parent got on the same page with the teacher. The student did not break any more tablets.?

3.? Discuss, Model, and Do Responsibility Daily

Trinity Christian Educational School has been in existence since 2004.? Since that time, faculty and staff have asked students what it means to be responsible.? Most of the time, students respond by saying they do not know or that it means that I have to clean my room when I am told.? After conversations about responsibility, students can define responsibility and realize that being responsible includes more than their belongings. The key to teaching children responsibility is to discuss how to be responsible, model what is discussed in different places, and allow children to help with what has been discussed and modeled.? Parents can do this at home by discussing, modeling, and taking responsibility with their children.? Avoid only lecturing about being responsible.? Let's face it, people only remember 20% of what we hear.? That percentage increases to 80% when experiencing what we have heard and seen others do.? One of the best ways is to ask them for help daily and talk to them about why their help is needed.? Sometimes, tasks take a little longer when asking children to assist, but it helps the child, and they get to see parents model responsibility and do what parents are doing.? Another way to discuss responsibility is by participating in a community event with your child.? One family at TCES volunteers at a local soup kitchen and takes their children along.? When the children get to the school after volunteering, they are happy to report how they learned to fix plates and clean an area for others to eat. The children started to clean and take care of school property better after working at the soup kitchen.? They told other students not to waste things because there may come a time when their family could not afford supplies and food.????

4.? Avoid rewarding Children when they are Responsible

Ms. Beverly White teaches that one of the worst things to do is reward a child for something they are responsible for doing.? Staff, faculty, and parents should expect children to be responsible because they are a part of the family.? When people spill things, leave objects on the floor, and/or drop trash on the grounds, they are responsible for cleaning it.? Rewarding children for things that are their responsibilities makes them less likely to see tasks as their obligations.? This can teach that there are no expectations and be counterproductive.? Children need to know that cleaning, taking care of items, cleaning, and not wasting things are expected.? Give rewards like money to children when they go above and beyond their expected duties.? This will help them see the difference between what is expected and what is over and beyond.? One parent implemented this teaching at home.? She reported that her children started to do some of her tasks because they recognized that she was doing much more than everyone else in the home.? She added a monetary reward for her children for helping her, and now gets more rest.? She says that her children clean most of the home alone, so now she can focus on cooking, ironing, and other tasks.

Responsibility is one of those things that can help children become more productive adults.? Start now by teaching children how to be more responsible and contribute to improving our society.? If you desire more information about this topic, contact Ms. Beverly White, the founder of Trinity Christian Educational School, at (864) 381-5248 or email her directly at [email protected].