Teachers: There Is A Difference Between "Trauma-Impacted Vs "Trauma-Influenced Behavior." What You Need To Know.

A Lesson in Listening: The Story of Brian

(Disclaimer: This story contains references to violence and trauma.)

One of my students, Brian, had been absent from my class for over a year. When he returned, he was no longer the fun-loving, big-smiling academic champion I once knew. His smile had been replaced with internal hatred, self-loathing, and a simmering rage.

During a class exercise, I asked each student to share something that motivated them. One by one, the students spoke. When it was Brian's turn, there was silence. "Brian, come on man, what’s your motivation?" I asked, trying to encourage him. Still nothing. Finally, he exploded, yelling, "I DON’T WANT TO TALK!"

I wasn’t shocked by his words but by the fact that he didn’t look at me as he spoke. Our relationship had been strong, built over years, and I knew something had changed. Something dark had entered Brian’s life.

It wasn’t long before I learned the truth: Brian’s father had been mentally abusing him, and the extent of the damage was far worse than I had realized. A few weeks later, Brian made national headlines when he stabbed a pizza delivery driver to death while ordering a pizza. My heart still aches for both Brian and the pizza delivery man. Brian's behavior grew into more than trauma impacted, it escalated to trauma influenced ... right before my eyes.

That was more than 20 years ago, but it feels like it happened yesterday. In hindsight, I wish I had walked more closely with Brian, paying attention to the subtle changes in his personality. As teachers, we all carry those "what if" questions about what we could have done differently for our students. That singular experience shaped me as an educator, teaching me to listen in a deeper way.

It’s why I write and share this story today.

I urge you to listen a little more closely, to feel a little more deeply, to observe more clearly, to ask more questions, to offer more empathy, and to love a lot more. We live in a world filled with drama and trauma, and the systems we put in place—guided by our understanding of the times we live in—will determine the outcomes we produce for our students.

This isn’t just about teaching; it’s about saving lives.

Imagine this: If "Trauma-Impacted" is like drinking one drink, then "Trauma-Influenced" is like downing the entire bottle. Now ask yourself, Would I handle both the same way? Absolutely not.

A student impacted by trauma might respond to a negative encounter with anger. However, a trauma-influenced student could escalate that same situation into full-blown rage. In today’s classrooms, it’s essential to have the tools to identify, address, modify, and redirect trauma-influenced behavior—especially when working with students from high-risk, violence-prone environments.

The classroom can often serve as an incubator for highly volatile human-to-human interactions, especially when students are dealing with unresolved trauma. What begins as a minor conflict or a heated exchange can quickly escalate, spilling beyond the classroom and into the digital world. Social media becomes the battleground where emotions run high, and insults are exchanged. Before long, what started as a verbal confrontation online can escalate into bullying—and all too often, these words turn into physical altercations.

As a teacher, you are in a unique position to identify the early signs of trauma-influenced behavior and intervene before it spirals out of control. Understanding the difference between trauma-impacted and trauma-influenced behavior is key to preventing these situations from escalating and to fostering a safer environment for all your students.

What to Look For: 3 Key Signs of Trauma-Impacted vs. Trauma-Influenced Behavior

1. Escalated Emotional Responses Trauma-Impacted Behavior: Students who are trauma-impacted may react to conflict with frustration or anger, but they are still able to regain control relatively quickly. Their response may be emotional but generally remains within the bounds of reason and can be de-escalated with the right approach. Trauma-Influenced Behavior: Students who are trauma-influenced, on the other hand, may exhibit more extreme emotional responses, such as rage or aggression. These students often struggle to self-regulate and may escalate a minor incident into a full-blown confrontation. Their heightened sensitivity can make them react disproportionately to perceived threats or slights, making them more likely to lash out or withdraw completely.

What to Watch For: Overly intense emotional reactions to seemingly small triggers. Look for students who respond to criticism, frustration, or challenges with either extreme anger or complete emotional shutdown.

1. Social Isolation or Hypervigilance Trauma-Impacted Behavior: Trauma-impacted students may withdraw socially, avoiding interactions with peers or authority figures due to fear of being hurt or misunderstood. While they may isolate themselves, they generally maintain some level of connection with at least a few trusted individuals. Trauma-Influenced Behavior: Trauma-influenced students often exhibit hypervigilance, constantly scanning their environment for potential threats. This heightened state of alertness can make them quick to perceive conflict, even when none is present, leading them to either isolate completely or become excessively defensive in social situations.

What to Watch For: Notice students who seem overly cautious or paranoid about their surroundings. They may avoid eye contact, constantly look over their shoulder, or act suspiciously around others, even during peaceful moments.

1. Escalation in Online or Social Media Behavior Trauma-Impacted Behavior: Students who are trauma-impacted might engage in online conflict or vent their frustrations on social media, but typically in a way that doesn’t escalate into severe bullying or harassment. They may post angry comments or vent in messages, but they are more likely to step back after some time to cool off. Trauma-Influenced Behavior: Trauma-influenced students, however, often use social media as an extension of their real-life conflicts, amplifying their emotional responses. What begins as an online argument can quickly turn into cyberbullying, with the student fixating on the conflict and using social media as a platform to continue the attack. These interactions can escalate rapidly, involving more students, and eventually leading to physical altercations.

What to Watch For: Keep an eye on students who frequently engage in heated online exchanges that don’t seem to die down. If a student appears preoccupied with an online conflict during class, ask questions about what’s happening and intervene before the situation spirals into something larger.

Protect Yourself, Your Students, Your Classroom, and Your School

There are always tell-tale signs before a situation escalates into a crisis. Some may be subtle, but they are always present. The most powerful safety measure you can implement is maintaining a strong connection with your students—both individually and as a group. This connection allows you to recognize and address even the smallest shifts in behavior before they escalate. No deviation is too small to be acknowledged, addressed, shared with colleagues, and followed up on. By staying proactive, you create a safer, more supportive environment for everyone in your classroom and school.

Learn more about my classes on “Trauma-Informed Preventive Practices,” Here