The Teacher

This piece is about a personal journey in a search for the right career spanning across 14 industries, which culminated in the author becoming a teacher. Stylistically, after this introduction it will shift to the first person, not to be over-indulgent, but for ease of expression. The Teacher is also dedicated to those who did not know what they wanted to do at first or for some time, and for individuals who fancied/ fancy a change at some point in their career.

1. Numismatics

My first job was a rather unusual one; I sold banknotes and old coins at the London Coin fair based at the Cumberland hotel in Marble Arch. My Israeli boss had a good sense of humour and taught me the ropes. I also helped him to put together a catalogue of his collection. I myself was a banknote collector and had met him once when visiting his shop in Angel, Islington with my father. The Coin Fair took place twice a year, and it was always a lot of fun. I also met a girl there called Kezia from Muswell Hill and went on my first date ever with her shortly after.

2. Catering

Some jobs were fun while they lasted, and this was one of them. This catering company catered to various London event venues and I worked at The London Fashion Show in the Docklands and the prestigious Wimbledon Tennis Club. My best friend also worked with me at the latter selling baguettes to hungry tennis fans. We did not meet Andre Agassi, despite pretending we had done and telling our friends. The fashion show was enjoyable though I remember that the powers that be did not do a very good job of supervising some of the young staff; I remember vividly when two fellow caterers were busy smoking joints in a large freezer in between serving customers; they did not get caught and obviously went unpunished. The last I heard, the company went bust.

3. Museums

Working in a museum for 8 years was enjoyable. I met lots of interesting people and helped visitors by instructing them about artifacts and providing tourist information. I also checked bags for security and sold souvenirs in the shop. Based in Camden Town, lunch was always a pleasure; namely sandwiches from a Portuguese delicatessen in the same street. I remember that if there were no visitors, although it sounds decadent, I could read The Sunday Times at work. Though, I should point out that it was not a proper job as such, as I only worked there once a week.

4. Retail

One month’s work at a supermarket in Indianapolis, USA was an eye-opener. My friend and I went out there to save a little and then travel, and our boss was his great uncle, who owned 7 supermarkets in the city (he passed away since then). Based in a predominately black area, we (both white Brits) were something of a novelty ‘round these parts. On one occasion, a school teacher brought her whole class to meet me and listen to my British accent.

The experience was enjoyable and I was proud of mastering the till and got on very well with my colleagues; mind you these were not normal staff members. My friend’s uncle had intervened during court sessions to give criminals another chance and all those I worked with had been convicted of something or other. Larry the thief had gold teeth, Clint was a crack dealer who had not realised the error in his ways, Ralf was the store manager and he whipped out a Magnum, which he kept in his jeep. He told me that if anybody came near his vehicle he would shoot them in the legs! The other names I forget, though there was one lady who was a born again Christian and, for some unknown reason, decided to write Bob Dylan on my arm in pen. Perhaps most worryingly, there was one James Brown lookalike who had murdered his wife and was working in the store as a butcher. In what could only be described as good karma, all of them respected their boss and were grateful for the second chance.

5. Film

Film has always been a passion of mine and I studied it for 7 years (obtaining an A-level at B level, then a BA: 2:1 and then an MA: pass all in Film Theory). At my first University, I developed a syllabus called Film Form in World Cinema and proudly sat in the first lesson. I had also been course representative at both Unis. Work in the industry included heavy lifting and preparing a room for an Oasis music video at Ealing Film Studios, programming a double bill of classics and a season of art-house films at Hampstead’s renowned Everyman Cinema; not to mention front-of-hourse work, which involved café work, box office ticket sales and ushering, also at the art-deco Phoenix Cinema in East Finchley.

Lastly, when push came to shove, being an errand boy delivering video cassettes to film companies in SOHO and making coffee for those higher up the chain at The Producers (production) and Pathé (distribution), respectively. I learned very quickly that the film industry is a dog eat dog community and it’s all about who you know. I had been too idealistic and, after securing work experience and turning up eager to learn, I was sorely disappointed and disillusioned feeling that I had not learned anything at all. Perhaps I should have been more assertive or opportunistic; I guess I will never know.

6. Travel

Working for travel agencies and tour reps was the order of the day as travelling had become my number one hobby. I figured that it would be wise to do something I was passionate about, though I was still rather na?ve. Unfortunately, there was no glamour and no travelling. I didn’t even get the chance to write itineraries for people, which I very much enjoy doing. Low-lights included having to pay out of my own pocket to an Irish budget airline when a name was misspelled, and the travel company clearly should have forked out, as they made huge profits on each sale. The very same organisation took full advantage of a loophole regarding advertising flights and package holidays on teletext for ridiculously low amounts, and these holidays just didn’t exist. So, customers would phone up, and, when the penny dropped, they would lose their temper and often start swearing. Sometimes, the phone would mysteriously be put down in the middle of such tirades.

7. Publishing

Selling advertising space is 100 times worse than watching paint dry; at least that is my experience. In 2006, I worked at a ￡300,000,000 private business (they are not on the stock exchange) in Hammersmith, West London, and made good money for the rich owners, whose good fortune I couldn't have cared less about. The chairman is in fact a former Deputy Prime Minister who worked under Margaret Thatcher. This was without doubt the most depressing and soul-destroying job I have ever done, along with some of the other sales work. Cold calling or calling up people you don’t know, finding the decision maker and trying to enthuse them with your wonderful product may be exhilarating for some, but is was hell for me. At the end of each work day you would report back to all the salespeople, and if you had a bad day, you would say ‘’we only made ￡X today, but we expect a better day tomorrow’’.

8. Sales

Sales became one of my pet hates. I spent many dark days and dreaded working for companies selling things I couldn’t have cared less about. One such place sold air conditioning units and it had one saving grace, it was housed in a historic, listed building in Highgate. Once, on the way to work I saw Terry Gilliam, the director of Monty Python, who lived nearby.

9. Customer Service

I moved to the Netherlands in 2007 for a change of scene and as my Dutch mother lives here. I began temping via Unique, who specialise in English language jobs, and this led me to work temporarily at a shoe company where I spoke to customers over the phone. I had never owned a pair of the shoes they sold and could not give a hoot about the products. To make matters worse, the commute took 1.5 hours each way and the manager and her deputy were both unpleasant characters. Thankfully, this experience was a short-lived one.

10. Financial

I quickly learned that financial administration really is not my cup of tea. I am not into book-keeping or particularly good at maths, though I can get by. The fashion company I joined as a temp has since gone out of business, but I remember counting down the hours each day. The only plus was that they were only a 10-minute bike ride away from my home.

11. Cleaning

Surprisingly, I didn’t find this job so bad. Although my window polishing skills could have been better, I gave it my best shot. The work took place at an old aged people’s home for wealthy individuals. The hardest part was seeing how dementia affected a lady who lived there. The best bits were going on house visits by bike to a farm-house that belonged to a rich family who once invited me for a slice of strawberry cake during the summer, and to the house of an artist whose daughter works in Hollywood, and she fondly shared memories and stories whilst I carefully vacuum cleaned her apartment with a few of her paintings on the floor.

12. Gardening

Gardening was one of the most pleasurable jobs I did. There is something to be said for being at one with nature, plus I discovered that I do have green fingers. It can be therapeutic and being outdoors in all weather conditions bolstered my immune system. I got in good shape after all the shovelling and lifting. Always happy to learn, I learned how to plant trees and lavender, how to replant, how to weed properly, how to trim hedges, use a leaf blower, how to prune and so on and so forth.

13. Bar-work

I have worked in two bars. First, an Irish pub in the centre of Amsterdam where there are some rather unusual characters who stopped by. One such character was a man who called himself Bill Sykes, based on a character from Oliver Twist (as you do), and, one day, completely unprovoked mind you, he attacked a co-worker with an ashtray to the back of the head; apparently, he is known to be psychotic.

Before coming to the last industry and to end on a high note (perhaps this bit is a little self-indulgent), the second bar was at the Everyman cinema back in London (mentioned earlier). I was taught how to make cocktails and can only remember the sea-breeze (vodka, grapefruit juice {can be substituted with orange} and cranberry juice). We also did health and safety and even food prep training. The bar and café-work were two of the duties I performed as Front of House staff, and ushering was another. Famous guests stopped by as many of them live(d) nearby and the place was popular, mainly with film stars and others. The ones I met included: Ewan Mcgregor, Anthony Minghella, Ray Winstone, Mike Hodges, Paul Mayersburg, Terry Gilliam, Tim Roth, Russell Crowe, Kylie Minogue, Rowan Atkinson, Harry Enfield, Michael Palin, Frank Skinner, Thierry Henry, Jonathan Ross, Liam Gallagher and Constantin Costa-Gavras.

14. Education

My friend and his wife had done a TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) course and had a great time teaching in Barcelona, Cadiz and then Rome. Spurred on by their positive experiences, I decided, after a while, to do a CELTA (Cambridge English Language Teaching for Adults) course; and the rest is history.

Teaching is a magnificent job and is the only job I have done in which I feel both happy and fulfilled. As a teacher, you can continue learning and have variety in what you do. You can help people to learn and you can meet interesting folk. As far as I’m concerned, teaching adults is the biz. When students want to learn and have a good attitude, it makes a world of difference. I learned that teaching children is not for me although some people have the knack for it, and if you think it’s something for you, then why not give it a try. As a freelancer you can be empowered, have no boss, choose which projects you accept, how heavy or light your workload is, when and for how long you go away, and, whenever possible, you can have creative freedom to create material, design courses, write books, publish blogs, do teacher training workshops, further education and so on.