Teach People How to Respect You

“If they don’t give you a seat at the table, bring a folding chair.” – Shirley Chisholm

Shirley Chisholm’s seminal 1970 memoir, ‘Unbought and Unbossed’ was such a rallying cry for truth and honour, I felt. And I just love that title, too. But it was also more: something about her values and her conviction, how clearly she saw things and acted on those principles; how potent her voice came though those chapters. This was someone who was clearly, defiantly, herself, and admirably dedicated to what she believed. Everything I love in a hero.

I believe that too often we are hesitant in presenting who we are to the world. We wait instead to be noticed and recognised for something or other. And then we wait to be invited to take part in greater opportunities. In a way, we wait to be defined in some way: to be deemed worthy enough, and for the time when we will also be rewarded for that.

That’s often the path we take in our professional lives. And also in our private lives. So many of us follow where we are led.

The truth is, though, that waiting to be recognised is a waste of time.

And it doesn’t matter if you feel you are owed that in some way either.

What I have learned is that, recognition, respect and the ultimate rewards we seek, they are not necessarily gift boxed up and presented to us one day when it is decided we have proven ourselves.

Contrary to what we have been taught in this regard, we have to teach people how to treat us by claiming our self worth. You have to gift box it and present it to yourself – with a big fancy bow.

Because no one gives it to you for free. And even when some recognise you, if that’s what you are motivated by, it just won’t resonate with you at that crucial, core place within. Not if you are leaving it to others to tell you how to feel about yourself. It only then manifests into superficial outer confidence.

You have to first recognise the good in you. And then realise you, as much as anyone, deserves to be wherever you want to be.

You then have to recognise those traits, strengths and skills that justify that. So you can build on them because you feel their value, not just because you’re comparing yourself with others who seem to have them; your uniqueness is the most investable thing about you.

You must do that for yourself like you would be willing to do for anyone else. That is the brickwork of healthy self esteem. And when you have that in place, you will be able to model to the outside world exactly how you deserve to be treated.

It doesn’t have to be with aggression or bulldozing your way in. We don’t need to be anticipating any fights or barriers in our way. No matter what you have learnt growing up. Never mind what you experienced in the past. What I know for sure, is that glass ceilings are reinforced by our constant awareness of them. When you discard the common beliefs and evidence that have you thinking you are less than, and you create your own that empower you, you will be surprised at how your persistence and certainty in who you are, will open all the doors for you.

But it all starts with?you?noticing?you.

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Pimmi Pande, July 2023.

This weekly newsletter is formed with carefully crafted posts designed to help readers achieve their success goals with clear cut direction. For those interested in creating more abundance in their lives, the posts motivate readers to adopt a necessary way of thinking with effective practises. These are all based on the experiences of the author.

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Pimmi Pande has spent well over twenty years observing the behaviours, practises and characteristics of successful individuals, and those who aspire to be, and assisting individuals in creating fulfilling, successful, lives. A key focus is on how people think and communicate. Pimmi has used the results of research and experience from working in the Film & TV industry, and as a writer, to create communications and mindset practises to great effect with her international clients over the years. Much of the writing shared in this publication is a direct result of this work.?

She now mentors groups and individuals, guiding them towards how to live consciously while achieving more. She also offers motivational speaking opportunities, commissioned writing, and is available for interviews.?

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