Taylor Swift, Robert Kegan & Learning Bravely

In February 2024, Taylor Swift performed in front of her biggest crowd. Over 96,000 ‘Swifties’ from all ages turned up to the Melbourne Cricket Ground to hear her belt out tunes from albums representing the various eras of her career. I know some of Taylor’s work, but I had to admit I couldn’t quite get the phenomenon. It’s not music I listen to, but I can respect her place as a giant in the music industry.

I decided to lose the ignorance and understand Taylor (we are obviously on a first-name basis) a little more. On Sunday, the last day of her Melbourne concert, I streamed her 2020 Miss Americana documentary on Netflix. This documentary provided a fly-on-the-wall view of her making one of her albums and looking back on her career from the start when she became an award-winning country singer at 16. What I thought I was in for was a biography of her career, and a few catchy tunes turned into something entirely different. It was a beautiful exposition of how someone has grown personally, moving from what Robert Kegan refers to as a socialised mind to a self-authoring one.

Socialised Mind

A socialised form of mind is one where individuals tend to strongly identify with the norms, values, and expectations of the social groups to which they belong, such as family, peers, or society. They may conform to these norms without much critical reflection. They often seek approval and validation from others. Their sense of self-worth is often tied to external feedback and social acceptance.

Self-Authored Mind

A self-authored mind represents a stage of development in which individuals begin to take greater ownership of their beliefs, values, and actions. They are more autonomous, reflective, and adaptable in their approach to life's challenges and capable of integrating multiple perspectives into their understanding of themselves and the world around them.

Tay Tay and Her Socialised Mind

If we think about personal growth as the qualitative shift of beliefs, mindsets and sense-making abilities, we can see that play out in her language and actions. Early in the documentary, Swift talked about her childhood and early beliefs - “all I thought about was the need to be thought of as good. It was all I wrote about. It was all I wanted… a complete and total belief system that I subscribed to as a kid. Do the right thing; do the good thing. Be a good girl”. This is a really good example of how beliefs get a hold of us at a young age” She goes on to say, “I trained to be happy when you get a lot of praise..like the pats on the head was what I lived for..when you’re living for the approval of strangers and this is where you derive all of your joy and fulfilment (operating from a socialised mind) then one bad thing can cause everything to come crumbling down..” This was in response to the 2009 controversy involving Kanye West, who joined her on stage at the MTV Music Awards, devaluing her award win by suggesting that Beyonce should have won it. The crowd started to boo Kanye, but Swift, who was only 20 at the time, was mortified, embarrassed and shamed. Her whole life was about being the ‘good girl’, and here was a moment where that was taken away from her.

Watching the documentary and listening to her comments, she used the language of someone who had operated at the socialised mind. The thoughts, feelings and experiences of others defined her identity. She had outsourced her happiness to the approval (and claps) of others. If they were happy, she was delighted. Even her attitude to body image and eating was a product of her socialised mind (“When I was criticised about my weight, I would starve myself, stop eating”. She couldn’t see that she was subject to her beliefs then.

Doing the Growth Work – Socialised to SelF-Authoring

Then, something shifted both in her language and her actions. It was likely precipitated by her being criticised and cancelled by Kanye, his followers, and many others on Twitter. One comment resonated – “I had to deconstruct my belief system for my own personal sanity”.

She took a hiatus from the public for 12 months and likely recognised that being the ‘good girl’ and seeking the approval of others wasn’t serving her. She started to question her beliefs. A sign that personal growth is taking place. She took on the haters who tried to cancel her. She countersued a DJ who was accused of sexually assaulting her (which she won) and started to air her political views by criticising Donald Trump as gaslighting the American people in an interview in 2019. None of this was easy, as the documentary highlights. There is an excellent scene with her family and what it would mean for her to express her value-driven views on women’s rights and Donald Trump. She took in all the opinions, including her father, who was against it and landed on her own perspective. Her values won out over her belief in being a good girl. You could see that she was starting to write her narrative, displaying characteristics of a self-authored mind. She had to be the good girl all her life and make people clap and approve of her. She couldn’t upset people. Not anymore. She was able to shift her beliefs and be true to her own moral compass, letting go of what others, even her family, who are very close to her, might think. What was also impressive was her ability to notice how she had changed. She was able to articulate how the impact her beliefs had on her. She wasn’t just thinking and acting differently; she could understand and notice how her thinking had changed. This is a classic self-authored thinking. What I appreciated about the documentary is that she is clear she is not perfect and a work in progress. Still, she is an example who sought to learn bravely in the spirit of growing and making sustainable personal change.