A Taste Of My Own Medicine

Dishing out advise, words of wisdom, tips for handling various situations and giving pep talks have always come very easily to me. Heck, when I am not pleased with something or someone, I am not shy about giving them a piece of my mind coz you know, I must be heard. Plus, I just feel like I am doing the situation an injustice if I do not speak on it.

I have been, well, still am, the go-to person for lots of people whenever they need a shoulder, someone to vent to or deconstruct a problem with. I am a bit of a self-help guru in my own right. I say so because plenty of the knowledge and solutions I have shared with others seems to have worked out pretty well.

It's all fun and games until you have to use the same advice you give to people on yourself and your own situations. That's where the issue is; having a taste of your own medicine!!

I have preached about decluttering your life and letting go of people, places and habits that weigh you down but I could hardly seem to help myself an inch either! I would preach about being frugal, spending money wisely and being the richest man in Babylon but boy oh boy, soon as that coin lands on my hand, there's already an exit for it.

So last year, I decided to get serious about myself and use all that advice I have been blessing people with on myself too. First of all, it has been hard, uncomfortable and unfamiliar. I've felt so insecure and alone at some points but the vision of who I want to be is stronger than what is happening in the moment.

I had to internalize the very script I had gotten used to narrating to others. I had to start inculcating the value system into myself, unlearning negative and self-defeating habits. I started coming face to face with my shortcomings, the things that I turn a blind eye to and hope others won't notice. I realized that I had been an ostrich in the sand about several issues in my life. I had to confront my bad habits and various aspects of my lifestyle that weren't going to serve me long term. I started to be more patient with myself and others, while at the same time lowering the threshold for anything that would devalue me or derail the process of refining myself.

While at it, I became a mother and while no one saw this, I broke down at some point in desperation, wondering at the responsibility ahead of me. This child was mine to lead, guide and mould into an upright dependable member of society. By God, I would do my best at this new role. I was glad for a minute there that I was becoming more self-aware.

I have taken myself very seriously since then. I am keen to plan ahead, think ahead, be more cautious about my health, more deliberate about my work/networks, more compassionate with others, more loving with my partner and child, more thoughtful about those who work for me and more engaging with family and friends. Speaking of friends, since my social interactions are more limited, I find myself seeking out the company and conversation of those who will check me and elevate me even as we roar with laughter. Unfortunately, there's squads that I have had to move on from. We had roaring good times but that's just it. The (toxic) past.

I have recently taken up physical exercise in the form of Tae Bo by Billy Blanks. Phew! Issa sweaty affair. 7 weeks in and I am yet to see a glimpse of my waistline.. sigh! However, I must say I feel nothing short of amazing. My body feels more alive and well than before and my mind just seems clearer. Maybe in another 7 weeks I will see a difference in my weight and appearance but for now, I am happy to not wheeze while I take the staircase to my house!

I am definitely a work in progress and there are times over the last year or so I have slipped. Putting into practice all the advice I give to people is hard. Saving money is hard. Being disciplined at and about your work is hard. Resisting the temptation to clap back at annoying people can be especially hard! Drinking plenty of water, watching what you eat plus what you say is hard (tea is sweet) but all this can be done. It is not an overnight job but a lifetime affair which I am looking forward to enjoying.

In the meantime, I shall take my wins jubilantly and the losses gracefully while on my journey to an all-round glow up. See you all on the other side!