Task Completion Relief

It’s really true that no project is done, only abandoned. And there I was, clicking “Export” in my editing software at 6:45 of the morning of the premiere of Tony Whalen: Legend and Legacy, so that I could get an hour of sleep before meeting two friends for a pre-premiere breakfast. (Then I left my house without my wallet and had to run home from the diner to get it.) But the film was done enough to show, and from a production standpoint, that was the goal. My original plan was to have a tight 45 minute film, but like many things Tony, it needed to be bigger and better.?

When Tony died, I came across this excerpt from Wind, Sand and Stars by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. It stuck with me as I wrote various tributes to him in the almost two years since he’s been gone. It was playing in the back of my mind as I made the documentary. I recited it in my opening remarks at the premiere:

Bit by bit… it comes over us that we shall never again hear the laughter of our friend, that this one garden is forever locked against us. And at that moment begins our true mourning, which, though it may not be rending, is yet a little bitter. For nothing, in truth, can replace that companion. Old friends cannot be created out of hand. Nothing can match the treasure of common memories, of trials endured together, of quarrels and reconciliations and generous emotions. It is idle, having planted an acorn in the morning, to expect that afternoon to sit in the shade of the oak.

So life goes on. For years we plant the seed, we feel ourselves rich; and then come other years when time does its work and our plantation is made sparse and thin. One by one, our comrades slip away, deprive us of their shade.

I felt like I needed to make this film so that it would feel like he was still around. And I was concerned that once this film was finished, that he’d slip further away. Months into the production, I thought I was going to be sad when this filmmaking process was over. But as I was watching other documentaries for inspiration while making my film, I came across Chicago: The Terry Kath Experience. Made by his daughter, she tells the story of his life as Chicago’s ace guitar player. At the end of it, she expressed similar thoughts about being sad her filmmaking process was over, but she realized, as I soon would, that this for both of us was just the beginning.?

Many people experience Task Completion Relief when they finish doing something that was onerous, but I’m broadening the definition. (It was definitely onerous when my hard drive crashed and I had to re-shoot and re-edit some parts of the film.) My version of Task Completion Relief is excitement to be done making the film, and gratification that the documentary is resonating with people.??

I’m energized to do more to honor Tony and make sure his impact continues. I had been wrong about Tony slipping away – I can continue honoring him. This tight 62-minute film is only the beginning. Tony lives on through this film, those who play his music, through his children, every time someone tells a story about him, and every time someone does a good deed for another person. Tony lives on in all of us.