T.A.R. - Three Step approach to perfecting THE ART OF ACCEPTANCE in Modern world

A lot of us hear a lot about about Acceptance nowadays. However, we find it very difficult to integrate it in our lives due to which frustration, anger and other miseries (negative energies) get a hold of us. There are a lot of teachings on Acceptance but very few on how truly we can integrate the concept of Acceptance into our modern lifestyle which is highly goal oriented.

This article gives a very practical methodology T.A.R. that not only will help you to practice Acceptance in life but will also open up a whole new understanding of the word "Acceptance" for you. In fact, this article will provide ample clarity on how to plan for future while ensuring you still practice Acceptance in pristine form as mentioned by various Enlightened Masters.

First and foremost, we need to understand what Acceptance truly means. There are two major aspects of any endeavor (small or big):

1) Efforts - Efforts and Hard work are required to achieve the desired goals in life. Without a doubt, there is no alternative to hard work!

2) Results - Efforts lead to results but the results achieved depend on myriad of factors many of which we cannot control. Hence, results are not under our control. We can just work on probabilities - Increase the probability towards desired and decrease any probabilities toward undesired.

It is very important that we realize the fact that multiple factors are involved on the smallest of happenings. Mostly everything in life is taken for granted. Even something as small as swaying of a flower might require a sufficient amount of hot air to rise, cold air to take place , a flower with proper height and other attributes, no or minimal obstructions etc. Think about it - if multiple factors do not favor, will we even be able to go and fetch a glass of water for ourselves. The simplest of achievements if broken into parts depend on a lot of factors not under our control.

If we analyze the above two points, they lead us to one conclusion - Hard work is absolutely crucial and the foundation to achieve goals in life and yet even after efforts to what extent the the goals are achieved is not under our control. This is an important fact we need to agree with. This is Existential and we have experienced this in our lives. As a matter of fact, we experience this in the smallest of activities we do everyday (Eg: Me typing this article depends on my availability, motivation to write at this moment, laptop etc.- A working Laptop itself involves so many factors not under my control!)

Acceptance simply implies Accepting the Fact or Accepting the Present as it is without judgments. Important point to understand is that Fact is Fact - we accept or not. If we do not accept the Fact, even then Fact does not change - hence not Accepting the fact leads to frustration. All we have to do is practice the above conclusion in life using the Three Step approach T.A.R. mentioned below.

Without following all three aspects mentioned below in totality, Acceptance does not happen even if we try to teach ourselves to accept!

The Three Step Approach T.A.R. (Target Action Result)- Any endeavor(big or small) can be divided into three parts.

1) Target

2) Action

3) Result

To understand the three parts, let us take an example of John, a Businessman who wants to achieve $50,000 profit in first quarter.

1) Target: John fixes a Target for desired profit. This involves time and goal. Important part to understand is that Target always lies in the future. It is not happening right now but in the Present we decide on what we want to achieve.

2) Action - This Action or Effort towards the target is in the Present. It ranges from planning to execution to any change in plans. It involves using relevant strategies to increase possibility of the desired and  decrease possibility of the undesired. John plans the steps required to achieve the target and takes action to achieve the $50,000 profit in 3 months.

3) Results - At the end of Action is the Result. John is able to achieve only $25,000 profit in first quarter instead of planned $50,000. One of the most important aspect to understand is that what we term as Result is always in the past. Now, even if John frets over it, the fact is going to remain a fact. What has happened has happened and there is no way to change the fact. The point I am trying to make here is that there is no option available with John at this point but to accept the fact because it has already happened. Now, it is up to him to Fret over it or to accept it peacefully and joyfully!

Above approach clearly suggests that TARGET and RESULT are not the same! Target we are trying to achieve is in the future whereas Result is always in the past. Once the result is out, we cannot change it. We can accept it in present and plan for the another target.

Our John is an intelligent guy. He does not fret over the result. He simply contemplates on first quarter results comes out with a list on what needs to improve so that he can make better profits. Instead of putting energy on the negative and getting frustrated or unhappy about results, he uses that energy to contemplate upon what needs to improve to achieve desired targets (future goals). This also means that Acceptance is all for action - it does not mean that you accept the result and do nothing.It means, you accept the present without judgment, learn from past and apply the learning to set and achieve new targets.

He follows the above approach again for second quarter target and achieves better results in the second quarter. Because he learnt so much by using energy correctly, he actually beats his goals by quite a margin and makes 25% more profit than he expected for second quarter.

John is not only a man of high IQ but high EQ as well. He is humble and thankful. In first quarter, as he contemplates on how to improve, he is just thankful to Life for teaching him how to improve and get better results. The sooner we learn, the better we get. In the second quarter, he feels Thankful towards Existence for achieving results because he understands the One Very important fact that there were many factors involved (in spite of all the planning) in this process that were not in his control and played out favorably. He is a man who practices awareness in life and understands that life can play out in any manner irrespective of how detailed the planning is.

And this is it - All we have to remember is T.A.R.and that results are facts that have already transpired. Learn from past and fix new Targets (future goals) and work hard towards them. There is No Acceptance without Hard work and action. Hard work is the foundation of Acceptance. So, next time you feel unhappy or sad about a goal, relax, remember T.A.R. and ask yourself one question - Is it a Target, An Action or A Result? If it is a result, then just say "I Accept and I will learn from this and improve" because it is already the past so a much better approach than being unhappy would be to be contemplate and learn from past, be thankful for learning and apply this learning in achieving new Targets!

This Attitude of Gratitude is the very core of T.A.R. methodology to perfect The Art of Acceptance and make Life and achievement of goals Holistic. Practice and experiment for a few months and yourself see the happiness and joy that this approach brings in your life.

Thank you for reading this. Please do share your feedback in comments section.