Taming Your Inner Saboteur

Have you ever found yourself caught between two choices, paralysed by the fear of making the wrong decision? Or perhaps you’ve made a choice with certainty, only to later question why on earth you went down that path? You're not alone. Whether you're a business leader, an executive, or an entrepreneur, making decisions is a significant part of daily life. Yet, there's a hidden player at the table—your inner saboteur. That whispering critic, often deeply rooted in your past, can be a real obstacle to mastering decision-making. Did you know that you can tame this inner saboteur and start making choices with clarity and confidence??

We often imagine decision-making as a straightforward process: you weigh the options, pick the best one, and move on. However, if you peel back the layers, there’s a more complicated story at play. Your subconscious mind, a vast archive of memories, emotions, and past experiences. has its own way of influencing your decisions, often without you even realising. This part of your mind, although immensely powerful, can sometimes become your own worst enemy. Your inner saboteur is the part that dredges up past failures or creates self-doubt. It loves to make itself known when the stakes are high or when you're stepping out of your comfort zone.?

Think of your inner saboteur as a well-meaning but misguided friend. It tries to protect you from potential hurt, embarrassment, or failure, but in doing so, it often holds you back from growth. When you’re about to make a challenging decision, it’s the voice that says, “What if you’re not good enough?” or “Remember that time you messed up? This could be just like that.” It’s the gremlin that makes a perfectly reasonable risk feel overwhelming and clouds your gut instinct.?

I worked with a senior executive for some leadership coaching, he was offered a huge opportunity, one that he’d dreamed of for years. Yet, when it came time to say yes, his instinct told him to decline. On paper, he was more than qualified. So why the hesitation? ?

Through our work, we uncovered an old belief: he remembered an earlier experience from his career when he had been publicly criticised for taking a risk. The feeling of embarrassment had been buried but still influenced him whenever he faced something that stretched his comfort zone. His inner saboteur had convinced him that this new opportunity might end in similar disappointment.?

To tame this inner saboteur, we first need to recognise it. Awareness is the key to change. When you're making decisions, take a moment to notice the voices and thoughts in your mind. Are they rooted in logic, or are they whispers of past doubts and fears? Imagine your brain is full of filing cabinets containing records of every success, failure, and emotion you've experienced. Your inner saboteur tends to rifle through the negative cabinet, selectively presenting old, dusty files that make you second-guess yourself.?

The next step is to challenge the evidence your saboteur provides. Much of what it says is exaggerated or outdated. Yes, you may have failed once, but that doesn't mean you will again. Yes, someone may have criticised you, but that doesn’t mean the current situation is the same.

Ask yourself: Is this thought based on current evidence, or am I letting old beliefs dictate my actions??

An incredibly useful tool for this is self-coaching in the moment. When a self-sabotaging thought surfaces, take a breath and ask, “Is this helping me or holding me back?” By simply acknowledging the saboteur and questioning its motives, you can diminish its power. It’s about turning that inner critic into an inner coach, one who supports you in moving forward rather than keeping you stagnant.?

Imagine trying to run a business or lead a team with an outdated manual, one filled with incorrect information and unnecessary warnings. That’s what it's like when we let our inner saboteur run unchecked. By recognising and challenging it, you can create a new internal guidebook, one that’s up to date and focused on success.?

In the end, taming your inner saboteur is not about silencing that voice entirely. It's about recognising it for what it is, a relic of past experiences, and choosing to act based on what's relevant here and now. Decision-making isn’t about perfection; it’s about progress. It’s about having the courage to make a choice, even if it scares you, and trusting that you have the tools to navigate whatever comes next.?

If you’re struggling with your inner saboteur, know that you’re not alone. It’s a challenge every leader, every person, faces at some point. The key is not to eliminate self-doubt but to learn to hear it, understand it, and then make a decision that aligns with your goals, not your fears. Mastering decision-making is a journey, one that requires patience, introspection, and often a bit of outside help.?

So, the next time you're faced with an important decision, pause. Listen for that inner saboteur. Acknowledge its presence, thank it for trying to protect you, but choose to move forward based on what’s best for you now, not what’s been in the past. With practice, you’ll find that you’re able to make decisions more clearly, confidently, and effectively. After all, taming the saboteur is a lifelong process, but with the right tools, you can ensure it never stops you from reaching your potential.?