Taming the Silent Culture Disrupter ... The Emotion of Contempt!

Hi everyone and welcome!

Let’s start by imagining walking into a room filled with your work colleagues.

The air is charged with energy, yet something feels off.

A dismissive glance, a mocking tone, or a slight smirk during a serious discussion - these subtle cues can point to the often-overlooked emotion: contempt.

Contempt, while not always overt, is one of the most destructive emotions in any environment … especially the workplace.

To foster a culture of respect and connection, it’s critical to understand what contempt is, its impact on the workplace, and how to identify it.

Defining Contempt

Contempt is more than just dislike or anger.

Psychologist John Gottman, known for his research on relationships, identifies contempt as one of the most corrosive emotions in human interaction

Contempt is a blend of anger and disgust, annoyance and irritation, accompanied by a sense of superiority.

When someone feels contempt, they are essentially communicating … “You are beneath me.”

Feeling contempt asserts power or status over others.

People who feel uncertain and powerless about their status may be more likely to manifest contempt.

It’s a way to maintain their ‘superiority’ over others.

Contempt is Power-Over-Others.

Dignity and Respect is Power-With-Others.

Contempt shows up in facial expressions, body language, tone, and choice of words.

It might manifest as eye-rolling during a meeting, sarcastic remarks that belittle someone’s ideas, or passive-aggressive behaviours designed to undermine.

Unlike anger, which can sometimes lead to productive conflict resolution, contempt erodes trust and respect, often without the target even realising why they feel devalued.

It’s insidious and all-pervasive.

The Impact of Contempt on Dignity

A concept I’ve been exploring for its relevance to workplace culture is the Dignity Index.

It measures the degree to which individuals feel that dignity; their sense of inherent worth, is respected within the organisation. ?

Lower dignity scores reflect divisive language grounded in contempt, while higher scores reflect language grounded in dignity,

Respectful language matters!

Contempt is a direct attack on dignity.

When someone experiences contempt, their sense of belonging and self-worth diminishes.

Over time, this can result in disengagement, reduced productivity, and a toxic workplace culture driven by us-versus-them.

Organisations that tolerate contemptuous behaviour risk high employee turnover, ?communication breakdowns, and a loss of innovation.

Conversely, workplaces that actively identify and address contempt, increase psychological safety, which leads to higher levels of trust, collaboration, and overall well-being.

Recognising Contempt

To bring the impact of contempt to life, here are three common workplace examples:

1. The Eye-Roll in Team Meetings

A junior team member nervously presents an idea during a brainstorming session.

Midway through their explanation, a senior team member rolls their eyes and mutters, “Here we go again.”

The room falls silent, and the junior team member wraps up quickly to avoid further embarrassment.

The contemptuous gesture - the eye-roll - communicates that the speaker’s ideas aren’t worth consideration.

This not only silences the speaker but also discourages others from sharing innovative ideas moving forward.

The impact?

In the immediate term it shuts down the space.

The long-term impact?

A team culture stifled by fear of judgment.

2. The Sarcastic Email

A team member sends an email requesting support from another business unit. The reply states: “Yeah right, because we’re not already drowning in work.”

While framed as a joke, the sarcasm conveys disdain and an unwillingness to collaborate.

This type of contempt fosters resentment between business units, making cross-functional collaboration more challenging.

It’s a small act, yet repeated incidents of sarcasm can widen division within an organisation.

3. The Dismissive Manager

During a one-on-one meeting, a team member shares their concerns about excessive workload and burnout.

The manager responds with a dismissive laugh and says, “Everyone’s tired. You’ll just have to toughen up.”

The manager’s response invalidates the team member’s experience and implies their feelings are unimportant.

Over time, this type of contempt leads to decreased morale and higher turnover as team members feel undervalued.

Addressing Contempt to Preserve Dignity

Contempt doesn’t have to be a permanent fixture in your workplace.

Here are three actionable steps leaders and team members can take to counteract its effects:

1.?Raise Awareness - Train teams to recognise contemptuous behaviours.

Awareness is the first step toward change.?

2.?Model Respectful Communication - Leaders are responsible for setting the tone by demonstrating civility and respect in all interactions, especially under pressure.?

3.?Nurture Feedback Loops - Encourage open communication where team members feel safe addressing instances of contempt without fear of retaliation.

By addressing contempt head-on, organisations can create environments where dignity thrives and connection flourishes.

Contempt may be subtle; however its impact is profound.

The bottom line is…

Let’s commit to recognising contempt and eliminating it.

Build Bridges not Barriers in 2025!

Let’s start the conversation to create more connected cultures that inspire, respect, and empower everyone!? - I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences in the comments.

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Thanks for reading Edition 032 of my weekly Respectful Workplace Insights newsletter.

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