Taming the "Monkey": Exercising our conscious mind

We are living in extremely complex, even surreal times. Some days, going out to work or just going out for a walk, seems like a science fiction film. People around you are all wearing masks and protective shields. ?Who would have told us a few months back?

It is precisely during these complex and uncertain times when continuous learning and adaptability, are most needed.

We have recently written about resilience, the ability to adapt to different circumstances. In this article, I will focus on something as simple and yet as complex as our attention. And how developing our consciousness can help us in a crisis such as the current one or prepare us for future ones.

Two ways of thinking

According to Daniel Kahneman, Nobel Prize in Economics 2002, we spend most of our time in the unconscious and automatic mode of thinking, what he calls System 1.

We wake up, have breakfast, even drive to work or talk to our clients in the automatic, unconscious mode. System 1 is automatic, immediate, intuitive and doesn’t require extra effort.

System 2 on the other hand, requires an extra conscious effort from our side. If we are driving and suddenly a heavy storm originates, we possibly will need to change from system 1 to System 2 and start paying full attention to all the details: our speed, our surroundings, cars behind and in front of us, in order to avoid having an accident.

What happens more often is the opposite though. That we are trying to focus on something but after a few seconds, our mind gets distracted by sounds, thoughts, “to do lists”, etc. Our mind wanders off and this is natural. This effect is called the monkey mind. The interesting thing about it is that it can be trained, and the monkey mind can be tamed.

Conscious Attention in Safety

Before the law sector, I worked 14 years for one of the world's largest chemical company, where safety was the most important core value. In one of the first safety meetings for people who travelled often, we were inspired through real stories and examples, to increase our awareness on the space around us. More specifically, when entering a plane, we were encouraged to spot where the closest emergency exit was located (behind us, in front of us) and how many seats to that exit there were. So that in case of fire and smoke, we were able to take the right direction and find our way through.

The same technique for hotels. When entering the room for the first time, we would notice where the closest exit was and how many hotel doors there were until that exit.

I know what some of you are thinking. I know it because I thought it too, the first time I heard this practice. It sounds a bit exaggerated. Even neurotic. The interesting thing is that based on their +200 years of experience handling dangerous chemicals, they had confirmed that those people paying more attention and being fully present as part of their day to day job, would reduce incidents and accidents dramatically. With the positive impact on costs and productivity that this entails.

Conscious attention to the client

Focusing on the legal sector, in my experience as a trainer and coach with different international firms, I have had the huge privilege and opportunity to observe how senior associates and counsel would relate to clients and react in some difficult situations.

During those observation exercises, two types of lawyers were clearly distinguished:

1) Those lawyers who would enter the meeting like a “bull in a china shop”, without being mindful about the context, the room, the emotional state of the client, changes in client′s priorities. Only focusing on their agenda and “getting it done”.

2) And those who, having also prepared intensely for the meeting, would leave their agenda aside for a few moments, and would pay attention to the space, the room and comfort of the client (Is there any water for the client? Do we have the right temperature?). You could see when the client entered the meeting, how the lawyer would be fully present and ask the client how the trip went, listening very carefully and actively to the client′s reaction. Adapting their agenda to the client′s needs or even changes of priorities. Creating a confident yet supportive presence with the client, building trust and credibility. Having a very different impact from the first group of lawyers.

Conscious attention to oneself

We all know examples of lawyers and organizational leaders who live under the pressure of the always-increasing-billable hours, 24/7 connectivity, the imperious need to bring new business, often driven by the need to maintain a high standard of living. Without realizing that they are falling into the boiling frog syndrome.

Increasing their consciousness and self-awareness about their basic needs (not only their client′s) and life priorities, could help them improve personally (healthier diet and sleep, relationships) and professionally (presence, build trust with clients, etc).

How to build our conscious attention, using day to day moments

Developing our system 2, our conscious part of the brain, can be done in a more formal way, through development programs such as Search Inside Yourself designed by Google.

Or it can also be trained choosing moments from our day to day, and consciously (on purpose) decide to pay full attention, in a particular way (using your breath, your senses, your thoughts or emotions), in the present moment and non-judgmentally. Whatever way you are practicing, it is a good way.

As we practice focusing our attention, our minds are going to wander off, and that is ok, this is what minds do (remember the monkey mind). It is the actual effort of bringing, each time, our mind back to our focus of attention that will make our attention stronger. Same as when you train your muscles at the gym, every time you bring your attention back, it will become stronger.

Here you have some specific ways in which you can exercise your attention:

·    Next time you find yourself waiting for someone who is late, find yourself commuting or in any moment and time, you can choose from time to time to, consciously, pay all of your attention to your breath. We breathe more than 45.000 times a day in an unconscious way. Doing it consciously, brings multiple benefits.

Test it right now. Take 3 conscious, slow and deep breaths. Noticing the rhythm, the temperature of the air, feeling how it comes into your nostrils and down. Being aware of the different qualities of every breath as it goes in and out. Without changing it or judging it. Simply observing it with curiosity.

And when you notice that your mind wanders off, remember, no problem. With kindness, we bring our attention back to our breath and continue paying attention. Actually this “bringing our mind and attention back to our breath” exercise, is what would make our conscious part of the brain – the prefrontal cortex – stronger.

·      Next time you are having a nice dinner or a glass of wine after a long week, instead of eating or drinking automatically and unconsciously, try to choose bringing all your attention to that food or drink. And with a “beginner′s mind”, use all your senses to enjoy it. Noticing the colour, smell, taste, texture, etc. As if it was the first time.

·      The most precious gift that you can offer someone, is your attention. And this goes for a client as much as for a friend or family member. Here we propose you to choose one person and one moment in the day, every day, in order to practice your conscious attention. For a few seconds or minutes, leave your agenda aside, and focus only on this person. What she says, how she says it, her expression, her emotions. Even paying attention to the silences and enjoying them. Without the need to fill them in. Experiment first with someone you trust. You will be surprised by the impact of this presence in you and in the person in front of you.

·      At the start of this article we described the importance of paying attention to the space around us, the room, the context. You can also practice using an object or the views through your office or home window. The views, the colours, the movement, how the light reflects…This mental and visual exercise would help you relax your sight (as you change your focus) as well as improve your concentration.

The options are unlimited and they don’t always require time. Practicing along your day to day tasks and moments could help you build a new healthy and resilient habit, that will improve your relations, your health and your productivity.

For those sceptical, like me and for those interested to know more, here you have some additional resources. Mostly focused on the legal sector but applicable to any industry sector. And enjoy just being.

• Smart phone apps: Calm, Headspace o InsightTimer.
• Well-being resources Toolkit including Mindfulness for lawyers by Jon Krop, J.D.
• Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) a world recognized program developed by Prof. Jon Kabat-Zinn.
• https://mindfulnessinlawsociety.com/