Tame Your Monkey Mind & Prosper

"When we come to it

We must confess that we are the possible

We are the miraculous, the true wonder of this world

That is when, and only when

We come to it" Maya Angelou

Introduction

As we embark on a new year, whether in our work lives or personal realms, the post-holiday season brings a unique blend of renewed energy and challenges ahead.

It's not just about feeling refreshed; it's about harnessing that rejuvenation to clear our heads and reignite our passion for what we love.

In this bustling transition, many of us grapple with a "monkey mind" – a mind that leaps from thought to thought like a monkey swings from tree to tree, never resting.

If you find yourself in this restless state, it's time to tame your monkey mind and reframe your approach to the now and the future.

Understanding the Monkey Mind

The concept of the monkey mind originates from Buddhist teachings and refers to an unsettled, restless, or indecisive state.

It's a familiar feeling for many as we juggle countless tasks and responsibilities, leading to a sense of being overwhelmed and unfocused and lacking in motivation.

This mental state can lead to 'ego depletion', a term coined in psychology to describe the diminishing of our willpower after exerting self-control over a period.

Imagine starting your day with a full tank of mental energy that gets depleted with every decision and task. By evening, you're running on fumes, making it harder to focus or resist temptations. Worse still, you may take it out on your loved ones or your pets.

Strategies for Taming Your Monkey Mind

1. Ego Depletion - Recognise and Recharge

The first step in taming your monkey mind is acknowledging the reality of ego depletion.

Recognise that your mental resources are finite. Like a muscle, they need rest and recovery. Simple strategies like taking short breaks during each day, practising mindfulness, or engaging in a relaxing activity can help replenish your mental energy. Let go of wanting, waiting, ruminating and worry.

What does this do to your monkey mind? It has a calming effect!

2. A Short List of Goals and Action Plans

Instead of a sprawling to-do list, focus on a short list of achievable goals.

This clarity simplifies decision-making and prioritizes tasks that align with your core objectives.

Break these goals into smaller, actionable steps. This approach not only makes tasks more manageable but also provides a clear roadmap for your day, week, or month.

Every morning, decide what value add tasks you will tackle that day. Stick to the short list.

Your monkey mind has much less chatter as it has been displaced by positive action.

3. Eliminating Clutter to Focus on Action

Clutter isn't just physical; it's mental too. Eliminate distractions that contribute to your monkey mind.

This could mean decluttering your workspace, turning off non-essential notifications, or even saying no to commitments that don't align with your goals. Simplifying your environment and schedule allows you to direct your energy towards productive actions.

Over the year end break, I got my business accounts up to date and tidied up my study. This made subsequent lunches with friends so much more enjoyable. There was nothing to nag me at the back of my monkey mind.

The Zeigarnik Effect

The subconscious mind will urge your conscious mind to make a detailed plan when presented with a task. As soon as the plan comes to fruition, the subconscious no longer needs to remind the conscious mind to work toward the goal. The result is a more relaxed mind.

4. Cultivating a Mindset of Anticipation

Proactive waiting is about being ready to seize the right opportunities, not just any opportunity that comes your way.

It involves patience and strategic thinking. This mindset helps in acting rather than procrastinating. When you wait with intention, you're not idle; you're preparing yourself to jump into action when the moment is right.

Your monkey mind is somewhat redundant when you have a mind tuned in to what is good for you.

5. Harnessing Willpower and Motivation

Willpower is like a muscle; the more you use it, the stronger it gets. But it's also important to use it wisely. Remember this, when you organise your day to reduce ego depletion, your ability to stay focused and determined will be so much stronger.

This is also where motivation and self-efficacy play crucial roles.

Self-efficacy, the belief in your ability to accomplish tasks, grows when you successfully tackle small sub-tasks.

Start your day with a quick win – something as simple as making your bed or a short exercise routine. These small victories set a positive tone for the day, boosting your confidence and motivation.

The feelgood brain neurochemicals of dopamine and oxytocin soon put a stop to the chatter of your monkey mind.

6. Tracking Positive Progress and Gratitude

Keeping a journal can be a transformative practice in taming your monkey mind. It's not just about recording events; it's a tool for reflection and gratitude.

Regularly jotting down your accomplishments, no matter how small, reinforces a sense of progress.

Additionally, noting things you’re grateful for can shift your focus from what’s going wrong to what’s going right, fostering a positive mindset that combats the restlessness and negativity often associated with the monkey mind.

7. Developing Micro-Habits for Lasting Change

Micro-habits are small, manageable behaviors that can lead to significant change over time.

The key is to start with habits that are so small they seem almost too easy. For instance, if your goal is to read more, start with a page a night.

If you want to exercise more, begin with a few minutes of stretching each day. I bought online for a modest fee, a set of yoga stretches which run for around 10 - 15 minutes a day. The teacher made it so much easier and even fun, so much so that it easily became a daily habit for my own good.

These tiny habits bypass the overwhelming resistance that often accompanies larger tasks.

As these habits become ingrained, they naturally expand, leading to greater changes in both your self-perception and your life.

Monkey mind is now more relaxed and energised for more positive thoughts and feelgood.

8. Embracing Lifelong Learning for an Adaptive and Agile Life

Lifelong learning is more than acquiring new skills; it's a mindset that keeps the mind agile and adaptable.

This approach to learning makes life more exciting and fulfilling. When you commit to learning continuously, you're better equipped to adapt to changes, overcome challenges, and seize opportunities.

Lifelong learning isn’t just about professional development; it’s about personal growth, discovering new interests, and understanding the world better.

This knowledge and adaptability can empower you to make a significant difference in your life and the lives of others.

Side thought - this is how our ancestors millions of years ago ultimately evolved - eating better, growing bigger brains, and developing conscious thought and higher intelligence.

9. The Importance of Surrounding Yourself with Inspiring People

The people we surround ourselves with have a profound impact on our mindset and behaviour.

Spending time with great people who inspire, teach, and share ideas can significantly influence your personal and professional growth.

These individuals don’t just provide knowledge; they also offer support, motivation, and a different perspective on life's challenges.

In times of need, having a supportive network to lean on – people who offer a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen – can be invaluable.

Cultivating such relationships can be a powerful tool in taming your monkey mind, as it creates a supportive environment conducive to personal growth and positivity.

Homework - Review your networking strategies. Look to refine who you want to hang out with more often. Preferably people you know, like and trust and who you can grow with at personal and business levels.

Conclusion

Taming your monkey mind is not about suppressing your thoughts or emotions; it's about steering them in a direction that serves you.

It's about creating a balance between action and reflection, doing and being.

Keep in mind that lifelong learning is key to developing a fulfilling life for yourself.

As you step into this new year, remember that a calm, focused mind is your greatest ally.

By understanding ego depletion, creating concise goals and action plans, eliminating clutter, and adopting a mindset of proactive waiting, you can transform your monkey mind into a powerful tool for success and fulfillment.

Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Let this year be the one where you take control of your mind and, in turn, your destiny.

To your success in 2024!

Frank Choy

28 January 2024

Recommended reading:

"Willpower - Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength", Roy Baumeister & John Tierney, Penguin, 2011 - This is a manual from heaven for anyone who has ever wanted to lose weight, stop smoking, drink less, work more efficiently and more intelligently.

"Motivation: How to Love Your Work and Succeed as Never Before" - Stefan Falk, Macmillan, 2023 - The true solution to becoming happier, healthier and more productive is to become intrinsically motivated: to stop wasting time on activities that don’t really contribute to our careers or our company’s success.

"The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do, and How to Change", Charles Duhigg, Random House, 2012 - why habits exist and how they can be changed.