Tame the Public-speaking Beast

When I teach public speaking classes, I often explain that years before, I would have had difficulty presenting to them. Even as a communication major with over thirty years in the corporate world, I have a long history of hypertensive public speaking. I've had so many anxious public-speaking moments in my life that I’ve repressed a lot of it from my memory. Some people who have seen me present may not believe it could have been 'that bad'. I must emphasize that it was 'that bad'. I’ve been fortunate to find the most career success after I found my voice. Much of my success came directly from my increased confidence level. Learning to get over my stage fright advanced my career and opened up doors to grow.

Have you ever been lost while driving without a map or GPS? Maybe your phone is dead? We have an instant panic attack about what we need to do. The anxiety builds up more with each wrong turn. We lose our ability to think clearly and have rational thoughts. The exact same feeling occurs when we approach a podium—and now in our increased virtual world—the Zoom screen. Our mind plays tricks on us, which impacts us physically. What if you could control—if not block—these feelings, so you are able to articulate your thoughts clearly and confidently? I have seen people with normally rampant stage fright who have given amazing eulogies. I found it interesting that these individuals were so caught up in the anguish of death that they forgot, even if for a small moment, that they were supposed to be scared to be in front of a large audience. The thought of the death instantly jumped them to the last stages of what experienced speakers are taught:?it’s not about you—it's about them, the audience. The frightened thoughts are substituted for ones of passion and love for the deceased.

You can take actions that will allow you to give impactful presentations that you once thought were never possible. In a visual example, here is a picture of my then ten-year-old daughter, right before she was to get her ears pierced:

Now, let’s see the victorious jubilation of reaching the finish line:

?Remember these moments of triumph.?

As a rule of thumb, our minds are often numb to the potential triumph because we are too occupied with the heart-stopping anticipation of what is in front of us. What if you could be trained to think about the endgame and the potential success? It is possible.

It starts with identifying the varying symptoms that often come with the pending act of public speaking. The symptoms are driven by deep-seated causes that we may not even fully understand about ourselves, yet. When you fully recognize the correlation between the onsets of symptoms with the ability to control your thoughts, you will see exponentially greater success, and get a deeper understanding of your own potential.

A core goal for success is controlling the symptoms, and more importantly use them to your advantage to relate to any audience. Here are some examples as to why we get anxious when we think about speaking in public:

? Uncomfortable situation

? New environment

? Potential failure

? Possible embarrassment

? Fear of boring the audience

? Inexperience

? Anticipation buildup

Each of these examples can create the symptoms we fear:?dizzy head, heart pounding, shaking, sweating, shallow breathing, and that sick feeling in our stomachs. For me, you can tack on a red face, stiff shoulders, and a dry mouth every time I had to present to senior leaders. These symptoms most likely will never go away completely, but they can be controlled with practice and preparation. In Janet Esposito’s book “Getting Over Stage Fright—A New Approach to Resolving Your Fear of Public Speaking and Performing” she discusses approaches that tie in the inclusion of spirituality and meditation to get the mind and body stabilized to find “inner strength for outward support.” Her premise is based on the need to understand that the escalation of anxiety is completely normal for most of us. Many actors as they approach the stage have varying levels of fear, but what makes the experienced ones different is their ability to teach themselves to transfer these feelings to their art. The important fact is that there is a direct correlation between your ability to tame the mind and your ability to control the body.

I took a class in college many years ago on visualization. As I walked into the first class laughing, I was expecting some easy credits. It was taught by one of the university sports coaches, and the class was full of athletes. The study of visualizing and sports psychology was a growing field at the time and was not fully understood. We were asked to take one routine act, such as shooting foul shots, and start tracking our progress physically as we slowly introduced new mental practices to calm ourselves down. The intent was to visualize our own success and growth through true focus. I was skeptical for much of the semester. I selected a three-mile run that I had been doing for years. I had been doing it for so long that I typically finished close to the same finish time each day. I saw very little room for improvement. There may have been times when I could sprint through it for a quick event-driven improvement, but the goal of the class exercise was sustained improvement.

I watched in amazement as I worked on my breathing techniques, on measuring my strides, on keeping my arms straight rather than having them come across my chest, and—most importantly—on the belief that I could accomplish more. My times continued to go down regularly. I did reach a plateau, but it was at a stabilized level that was far better than my predicted outcome. Visualizing success is now a common practice among athletes, and it can be important to your own success when preparing for situations that cause stage fright.

It is now normal to watch athletes and actors visualize their performances. They are making every effort to stretch their peak performance. I recall seeing Olympic skiers on TV with their eyes closed and hands in motion as they simulated their progress through the course—before the race. Their hands moved smoothly in unison with their thoughts by going side-to-side and up-and-down to mimic the exact course they were about to go down. I believe that they all saw themselves as the winner of a gold medal, not the bronze medal! Limiting thoughts can negatively impact performance.

Some people see the deep-rooted causes of their own public speaking as obstacles too large to break through. We fill ourselves with excuses that it’s too hard to try to identify and fix due to personal time constraints. We convince ourselves that it’s not worth the effort or we are unable to visualize our own success. I was one of those people until I ironically got more personal in a Toastmasters speech and showed a significant amount of vulnerability. I began to sing onstage for part of this speech. My apprehension turned to confidence when I saw the audience’s reaction. I was consistently off key and had no rhythm, yet there were tears in the eyes of some of the audience members as they began to relate to the message of my story. I’m not suggesting everyone start singing, but I am suggesting that you shouldn’t be afraid to stretch yourself and make every effort to be yourself. Your audience most likely will appreciate seeing you bring your whole self to the presentation, as opposed to some uptight, note-reading presenter. You can use your own individual hurdles, roadblocks, and triumphs to strengthen your own message—yes, even if business presentations, when appropriate.

There are many options that can be taken to create synergy between your mind, body, and soul. I am not an expert, so I suggest consulting the professionals. However, psychotherapy, hypnotherapy, and yoga have been identified as potential alternatives to prepare you for the big meeting or your moment on stage.

Once we understand the potential causes of the fear, we can take the actions to build our confidence level. The psychology of fear can have a devastating direct link to the physical effects of the built-up symptoms. An article from www.owningthestage.com notes that there are certain things you can’t control such as “…your genes. Some people are simply more prone to anxiety than others, and if you’re unlucky in the DNA you probably know it. Blame your parents. With the genetic factor, you have to play the hand you are dealt.” Personally, I believe I fall into this category. I’ve always been hypertensive. I often thought my increased confidence was compensation for my imposter syndrome. The reality is that I’ve learned to better understand myself and my audience which allows me to make the adaptations to deliver the message more effectively—thus, making me more confident.?

This DNA argument still allows for the possibility that we can control much of the causes around us. The article does go on to state that: “It’s ‘only’ in your mind. It’s important to understand that stage fright is subjective:?it exists only in your mind and your own perception. It might be painful, but it’s not like a poke in the eye. It’s a purely inner struggle. Sometimes stage fright can feed on itself, like when you’re—ironically—deathly afraid of getting stage fright! It might seem crazy but we’re not talking about rational, logical thoughts here. This leads to a kind of perfect storm of anxiety. You might make a little mistake, like a slightly out of tune note or a badly timed entrance or a loss of balance. That triggers a bit of anxiety, which kicks off your overblown fear of anxiety, which causes a few more mistakes, and so on until you faint, or have a coronary, or at least consider faking one. And even though stage fright is ‘only in your mind,’ it is still very real for a lot of people.”?

The Eric Education Resource Information Center notes that many inadequate theories of stage fright tie into the “cumulative effects of emotions” that include “neurological, body reaction, and a two-factor theory of body reactions and environmental cues.” However, they theorize that stage fright goes beyond that to become a culmination of “behavioral, physiological, and the cognitive.” In other words, the behaviors of avoiding the situation of public speaking because of perceived failure or embarrassment, leads to physiological symptoms of sweating or shaking that impacts the “consciousness of both.”

There is a continuum of mind, body, and behavior actions that are related to each other. All can impact our ability to give our best unless they are controlled. Some ways to prepare for your time in the spotlight include:

• write out what you want to say (it doesn’t have to be word-for-word, but an organized outline keeps your thoughts compact);
• practice by repeating the message often (know it better than anyone else around you);
• increase your stage—and Zoom, Webex, etc.—time; and
• be a student of yourself.

Specifically, being a student of yourself can include your ability to be more willing to be open to feedback and recording yourself. As you continue your public speaking growth through mental and physical preparation, you will be taught how to visualize success and how to get to know the audience. Additionally, you will begin to truly believe that the audience wants to listen to your message and understand that not all your feelings are fear. Some of your built-up anticipation might just be excitement and adrenaline. On the physical front, you can:

·???????prepare with deep breathing;

·???????stretch out the tension in your shoulders, back, and neck;

·???????avoid caffeine (sorry coffee drinkers!);

·???????exercise prior to the presentation; and

·???????stay within your routine, if possible.

It takes time and effort. However, the preparation and practice are easily accomplished with a commitment to get better and are not as difficult as you think. The beast of public speaking can be tamed. You can find the way to sustained success. It is time to cross over the threshold from wanting to change to actual change by acting on yourself.