Talking to Strangers

This past week, Joshua Geller (my 20-year-old son) and I had an incredible adventure by catching a train (well two to be exact) from New York’s, new Moynihan Train station to San Francisco. Yes, that's not a typo. We traveled around 3,500 miles through 11 states, stopping at around 40 towns, all in all took 79 hours. It was incredible in many ways, from the train experience itself where we were in a sleeper car, the amazing scenery of the U.S. landscapes to the priceless time together sharing this incredible experience.?

The first one was from NY to Chicago which was around 18 hours, where we managed to have a 4 hour stop to see some of what Chicago had to offer (which was fantastic) to then get on the Californian Zephyr taking us from Chicago to San Francisco. It was certainly a first train trip of this kind for the both of us.?

We were inspired by this video , which shows just how amazing and interesting this experience is.?

I could write for pages on end about the trip in many ways. The time together with Josh, the conversations we had, the laughs, the frustrations and the occasional tense moments. Something about being in a room around 6 feet by 6 feet, which provides for a tight experience in a relaxing yet reflective environment which brings out a whole set of emotions.?

Anyway, one unique aspect of this trip which I found the most interesting was talking to strangers.?

Beyond the room you’re in (in the sleeper car), you have the diner car and the observation car. You see in the diner car, where we got to eat our 3 meals a day, you’re seated with strangers. Josh and I on one side, and another 2 people on the other. Sometimes they were together and sometimes they too were strangers. There is something nice about the forced/encouraged set up of getting to know other people that I found very appealing. And of course, “breaking bread” together.?

We met wonderful people, all with their own situations, some using the train to get from A to B as a logistical challenge, while others used it to see the country in a relaxed form, on vacation. Some were alone, and some went with friends and of course couples.

Being an extrovert, I find this very comfortable. It reminded me of much travel I’ve had in my career and often speaking to the person next to me on the plane. I’ve generated friends and business deals from these random conversations. I’m sure many of you have also. There is something appealing about experiencing something together and sharing. Interestingly, today I read that New York Times has “talking to strangers” as one the top trends of 2023.?

Albeit I found it comfortable as an extrovert, Josh, who’s more of an introvert found it a little more challenging. Now unlike other difficult setups where there is no encouragement to talk to one another (like a plane), here you’re actually having a meal together and sitting at the same table. So, there is no choice but to talk and share things together.?

As for the observation car, which is where it’s designed to take in all the scenery together, again offering a set up to meet others and share. I guess one has the scenery outside to begin conversations and get to know each other.

The world is a complex, difficult and judgmental place. Especially with social media running ragged at our fingertips every second of every day. Also, our devices have us connected and wired with what is happening in the world and to the people we’re connected with, however ironically being present with the people in front of you is actually where the best engagement lies.?

Given this connected world, being present is actually quite hard. I personally find it hard to do and albeit difficult, I’m always striving to remain present with whoever is in front of me.?

Having the talking with strangers set up, actually forces you to be present. You wouldn’t want to offend anyone by bringing up your phone right?

Perhaps we should all take a leaf from this set up and use it to encourage more talking with strangers in all environments (safely of course) and being present no matter what. You never know who you might meet and more importantly where the conversation goes.