Talking 'Bout My Generation

“People try to put us d-down”. Roger Daltrey’s timeless opening line to The Who’s 1965 classic.? The people in question are older generations, sneering and lecturing the young mods of the 60s. Tearing around on their Vespa scooters and blasting out rock music. It’s a tale as old as time, and the distaste shown in return holds no punches.

“I hope I die before I get old”.

Obviously, an outrageous comment that captures teenage angst and frustration in its purest form. However, when the amps are put back in their cases and the house lights come back on, do they still carry this resentment out into the streets?

Can you relate to Roger? What generation are you from? Do you know? Does it matter?

As I sit in Café 1505 on South Bridge on a glorious Saturday afternoon, on my left are two elderly ladies having a coffee and a blether, and on my right are two young physics students with their laptops out studying. It’s a perfect setting for the start of this blog. An investigation into the circle of life. With less animated lions and monkeys singing.

Every time I look on social media or turn on the news, it seems like there’s another story stereotyping a certain generation. On the way to this café, a story appeared on my Instagram about Millennials being entitled and refusing to do unpaid work to advance their careers.

After a bit of digging, it turns out this is an interview from 2019 with Natalie Brennan, the General Manager of a Muffin Break store in Australia. Two days after the article was published for News.com.au and after it had gone viral all over the world, the original journalist Frank Chung wrote another article explaining Miss Brennan’s comments had been taken out of context. But it was too late, the words were out in the ether, and the damage was done.

Five years... five years later the story is still being circulated because no doubt it will kick up a storm leading to more comments, clicks, and conversations. Now, whatever generation you are from, you probably read that headline and formed an opinion. An opinion that will likely differ from other generation's viewpoint.

Herein lies the aim of this blog. What do different generations really think about life in 2024, and how do they see themselves and other ages? This isn’t a scientific process at all, it won’t win a Nobel prize, but in an audacious attempt to make sense of it all, I sat down with eleven people from every generation alive today, (almost every generation – my Gen Alpha nephews said they would rather play Fortnite than speak to me for longer than 10 minutes) and asked them the same ten questions.

1. What's your earliest memory?

2. What values are important to you?

3. What's it like being your generation in today's world?

4. What's the best thing about being from your generation??

5. What's the biggest change in society you have seen in your lifetime?

6. What's the best invention you have seen in your lifetime?

7. What frustrates you about your generation's stereotypes?

8. What do you think all generations have in common, if anything?

9. How was your life affected by COVID?

10. What advice would you give to future?generations?

Silent Generation (Born between 1925 and 1945):

We will start with our elders and work backwards in age groups. The so called ‘silent’ generation were sandwiched between two world wars, many experienced a bleak childhood during The Great Depression of the 1930s, and the start of World War II. Born after ‘The Greatest Generation’ who lived through World War I they were given the name for being cautious conformists, traditionalists who sought to work hard.

I am lucky that the two willing volunteers are anything but silent. I head to a coffee morning in Airdrie to speak to Ann and Drew, a former teacher and financial director respectively, who generously give up their Saturday morning to speak to me. The first question I ask has turned out to be my favourite, because it can tell you so much about the person you are speaking to.

What is your earliest memory?

For Ann, it was a moment of sadness turned around by her father, who stayed up all night to fix her doll’s broken face, then left for work without any sleep. Almost a century later that feeling of gratitude still stays with her.

For Drew, a moment that many children in the UK today can’t even fathom. Playing in the park in his hometown of Kinglassie and hiding under a chute after hearing planes fly overhead during the war.

Both were brought up with similar values.

“You didn’t get into debt, and only bought what you could afford”, They both tell me.

Possessions were looked after, fixed, and made to last. A world apart from the disposable and commercial lifestyle of today, where the average debt of an adult in the UK is ￡34,457, a staggering 96% of average yearly earnings.

Respecting authority and respecting elders were also instilled in Ann and Drew from an early age, along with integrity.

“If you found a penny, you asked around for who it belonged to”, smiles Ann.

There seemed to be an immense sense of freedom, as Ann joyfully recalls heading to the seaside with her family in their Baby Austin car every Saturday, and regularly took out the neighbour’s babies to play outside. “Can I take them out?” her and her friends used to ask, much to the delight of the parents. Today that seems such an alien concept. I’ve just asked one of the students to look after my laptop whilst I go to the toilet as that alone makes me nervous…

Maybe because we’ve been made all too aware of the dangers lurking around every corner. Every week there’s a new serial killer documentary on Netflix and news is now a 24-hour bombardment of terror. But dangers have always been there surely? Why was it different back then? Very little of this carefree philosophy is seen today, with the closest thing maybe being the Scandinavian tradition of leaving their prams outside in the street for their children to nap.

One contributor to this societal change could be the closeness of family, both emotionally and logistically. In Ann and Drew’s childhood, most families lived very close to each other, and help was only a few doors aways. One of the biggest changes Ann says, is that now families live miles apart, sometimes on opposite ends of the globe. Now this isn’t necessarily a negative thing and is a symptom of opportunity and exploration. The paradox is that we’re now free to travel all over the world, but at the same time have we relinquished the community spirit and safeguarding of the mid 20th century?

The collapse of communities is a theory explored by the political scientist Robert Putnam in his 2000 book 'Bowling Alone'. A similar feeling of bemusement at the modern world sparked his investigation and blames the fall of democracy and trust in our communities on the memberships of clubs over the latter half of the 20th century, with most memberships like the P.T.A, Red Cross and most church groups falling 50-60% since the 1960s. The analogy being that we now attend bowling alone, instead of in a group complete with matching jackets and nicknames. The much darker conclusion is that we are now much more lonely, divided and don't know or trust our neighbours.

The conversation turns to influential inventions, which I specifically included for Ann and Drew’s generation. They’ve seen it all, from man landing on the moon to the first telephone call. For Ann it’s television, the first successful test of which was performed on January 26th 1926 by Helensburgh born John Logie Baird in front of 50 scientists in a laboratory in London.

“It covers all generations. Adults can have company; they can get involved in stories. You can keep in touch with what’s going on.”

For Drew it’s the motor car, first invented at the turn of the 19th century. By the time he purchased his first car at the age of 20, the UK was the third largest manufacturer in the world. Along with 100,000 other owners in the UK at that time, Drew was enjoying his freedom in a Volkswagen Beetle.

We come to an important question in the list.

What frustrates you about stereotypes other generations have about yours?

I get two sides to the story, which offers an important lesson to you reading this. There is a feeling that this generation's views can be dismissed, with polite nodding and a trivial smile, without really taking in what’s being said. On the other hand, Ann delights in explaining when she is spending time with her niece and younger family members and they include her in activities, “You’re one of us!” they say, and at least offer an invitation to get involved.

I can’t write this blog without asking about COVID, and how it affected people of all ages. Some were fighting for their life; others were so young they didn’t fully understand the weight of what was happening.

“We showed resilience across all generations” says Drew. It forced us to work together and support one another to get through it. There was no other option, and because of the selfless actions of many, Ann and Drew, along with many others made it through the other side.

We finish with probably the most important question of the morning, and the one I’ve been most looking forward to asking. I hope you’re taking notes…

What is your advice to future generations?

Ann: Make the most of every day, don’t give up, do your best, take on a challenge.

Drew: Listen to your parents. You’re capable of learning every day. Don’t jump to conclusions, think about things and don’t take things personally.

This generation serve as a living reminder of the incredible resilience that can be shown by human beings, and the best thing we can do is soak up their advice and knowledge like a sponge. Age shouldn’t be a barrier to involvement, and I’m sure when you get to that age, we’ll all still want to be treated like ‘one of us’ instead of dismissed. Both Ann and Drew cited the pace of life being too fast. People feel like they must be somewhere, at some time, doing something. It’s important to stop, take a break and slow down.

Baby Boomer (Born between 1946 and 1964):

Up next is the Baby Boomers, named after the population boom following World War II. Any number of factors could have led to a significant increase in births including the economic recovery after the war and great depression, soldiers returning from war, higher marriage rates and the lack of employment options for young woman. This led to the generation growing up and, due to their sheer volume in numbers, influencing everything around them from labour markets and music taste, to their attitude to sex and drugs and wealth.

In recent years they have found themselves the target of their children’s generation, accusing them to have outdated views. The phrase ‘OK Boomer’ used to passive aggressively dismiss these views and sense of humour. But isn’t this the case for us all? We’ve already noted how quickly life is moving and changing. Today’s values are tomorrow’s outdated opinions. Is this an unfair attack, or justified?

I sit down with Shanly, hailing from Glasgow, and now happily retired. He spent a successful career in construction equipment sales. Also, Alison, a chef by trade who now runs a catering company and coffee shop in Edinburgh.

Shanly recalls his earliest memory from his youth in Glasgow, attending the cinema aged five eating a bag of raisins bought by his mum.

“I can’t for the life of me remember the film” He laughs.

Hard work and honesty were drilled into him from an early age, and when Shanly’s generation entered the workforce in the 60s and 70s there was more competition than ever before. Plus, there were now more woman entering the workforce than ever before. A significant positive change and created a dog-eat-dog culture across all industries with the unemployment rate in America reaching 10.8% in 1982.

Alison takes a moment before answering. We’re perched on some stools in her coffee shop, and I take a sip of my (free) coffee while I patiently wait for her earliest memory.

“It’s not a nice memory” she says. She grew up on a farm in Fife with 3 older brothers and a sister, and she can remember being locked in the henhouse by them aged 3.

You are forged by your childhood, and Alison had to fight her corner growing up. Like Shanly it was the mantra of hard work that was repeated along with staying quiet and only speaking when spoken to. Discipline was enforced and for many, routine and regiment was the norm.

“We’ve lost the toughness we had”. Shanly explains that he fears for his grandkids growing up. The best thing about being his age now is having a family. Watching his children and grandchildren grow up is priceless, and he feels ever grateful for them. But the double-edged sword is they are heading into an increasing unknown and unpredictable world. He utters a phrase which I can wholeheartedly resonate with.

“I don’t know where we’re going.”

There seems to be a narrative of millennial bitterness towards baby boomers as a wealth hoarding generation who had it easy, could afford to live, and bought their house for a bag of jellybeans. However, I get the feeling that this is an undeserved reputation in most cases and speaking to most people from that age, they can tell you how hard they worked, whilst raising a family and they can show you the receipts. They can’t choose when they were born. Your fight is with higher powers, not your mum and dad. Before you grab your avocado smeared pitchfork, it’s also worth noting that there are more layers to this myth, as 1 in 5 baby boomers live in poverty in the UK.

Alison is living proof of that discipline and work ethic, and after several successful business ventures she is still enjoying working and learning from the young people in her business. Although she does agree that some young people lack communication skills - admitted by 70% of young people aged 18-34 who refuse to answer the phone. She enjoys exploring the phenomenon of social media with them and has even started using TikTok herself to explore options for her next holiday away.

When it comes to inventions, they both have two ideas that many take for granted today, but both Shanly and Alison had to teach themselves how to use the computer and the mobile phone as adults. Like the remote working phenomenon that has taken over the workplace since COVID, when the computer was introduced to the office in the 1970s it revolutionised work and data processing, and forced an entire generation to pick up a manual and learn a completely new way of life.

Whilst the conversation today surrounds how young is too young to give your child a phone, Alison got her first mobile phone when she was 32, a Nokia 2110 (or might have been the 2010, both released in the same year). Anyone under the age of 20 reading this, google those models and then try and complain to me how slow your iPhone 14 is.

Like the generation before them, Shanly explains that by being retired he feels dismissed at times, especially by politicians. Retirement is the reward for putting in years of hard graft and you should be able to enjoy a leisurely wind down surely? This generation that fought so hard to get a job 50 years ago and stay in it, are now navigating the strange world of not working. It’s not all playing golf and cruising round the Caribbean however, 39% of retirees feel a reduced sense of identity and purpose, with loneliness amongst many side effects.

Go ahead and google ‘Retired people feelings UK’. I’ll wait.

It’s not a bunch of baby boomers laughing on a yacht of the southern coast of France. It’s pages and pages of research, studies, and forums about loneliness, depression and isolation. For many their workplace, routine, friends and colleagues are pulled from under their feet all at once. We are always flooded with the negative attitudes towards work: The daily grind, The 9-5 nightmare. Based on our elder’s current experience, should we take a second and appreciate the routine? The stability it gives us? The interaction with other people? I’m not saying you have to overload the suggestion box every week and be 10 minutes early for every zoom meeting, but maybe if you can change your perspective on what you have now, it can make things easier to appreciate.

An appreciation and re-evaluation of life was the effect Alison remembers from COVID. A real-world test of no social interaction, no routine, no structure and look how well that went… Like Ann and Drew, it’s the pace of life and trying to do too much that was the realisation for her. It affected everyone in many ways, but the one thing it did do was force many of us to take a break and reassess life.

Of all the generations I feel it’s the Baby Boomers who get a hard rep sometimes. Unfairly stereotyped as having sailed through life and now enjoying the fruits of retirement, for some it’s a very different story. We can’t assume what people have experienced and it’s worth a coffee and a chat with someone to understand how they are.

What is your advice to future generations?

Shanly: Emigrate!

Alison: Be yourself, it’s tiring being someone else and you will get found out.

Gen X (Born between 1965 and 1980):

At the halfway point we meet the Gen Xers. This is a funny one. Often overlooked as a generation, they bridge the gap between the population boom of their parents post war contrasted with 47% of Millennials saying they are ‘unlikely’ to have kids. They are the first generation to grow up completely without the internet, and then spend their adolescence constantly adapting to new technology. Take music for example. They grew up buying their first records, then CDs, then downloading onto an mp3 player, until finally having to pay a monthly subscription to listen to their favourite tunes. With fewer numbers than previous generations thanks largely to the introduction of birth control in the mid-60s, they make up 35% of the UK workforce today and are focused on juggling their career with raising a family in a confusing and ever-changing society moving at breakneck speed.

I’ve got three willing individuals from this generation. Paul is a successful hotel manager in Edinburgh city centre, whilst Sara and Denise are good friends who both hold senior management roles within the NHS in leadership and project management respectively.

I sit down with Paul in the hotel on his lunch break and he tells me his earliest memory, buying his first record (ABBA, I forget to ask which album), with his mum in the St James shopping centre after it was opening in 1973. The values he was brought up with were simple: honesty, integrity, and kindness.

“It feels strange in some ways at this age. I’m too old to be cool, and too young to be wise”.

He mirrors the rhetoric of this ‘middle aged’ (I use that term affectionately) generation, feeling stuck in the middle of everything. This might be what everyone has felt at this age, but I can sympathise with this generation given the sheer speed of change since the turn of the millennium. Paul has a positive outlook on life and still has a lot of energy, seeking out new experiences and taking from life what he can. I've been working around him for almost 3 years and he's always the first person to say good morning and ask how you are with a beaming smile.

One Saturday morning I head round to my sister’s house to have a chat with her and Denise. We sit in the kitchen, and they tell me about their childhood. Broken toys seem to be a common theme, and Denise recalls her parents giving her a tiny gramophone as a present, only for it to be knocked off her desk in school and shattered by a boy (who I won’t name to protect his identity).

For Sara and the rest of my siblings it was a humble upbringing and a visit to her friend’s house resulted in her being offered blancmange and instantly thinking how posh it was. “It’s just fancy angel delight!” She laughs.

Debt was still a big focus growing up and both were told to only buy what they could afford. So much so that when Sara went to university and had to take out a student loan, it was a huge decision. This seems to signify a tide turning through the ages, and it’s impossible to ignore the effect that the price of education has had on multiple generation’s values. From Ann and Drew diligently saving up and looking after their material possessions, we have reached a stage in the 1980/90s where student loan debt was starting to increase, and has snowballed into a staggering ￡236 billion outstanding in England alone at the end of March 2024. As Gen X were starting to leave home into further education, it was becoming harder to hold those frugal values instilled by their parents.

Another common trend is respect and integrity, especially for elders. Your parents or teacher always had the last word, regardless of if you thought they were right or not. Nowadays both Sara and Denise explain they constantly find themselves on the end of back chat and being challenged by their children. This seems to be another shift in society, with older generations now being called out for their seemingly outdated views and prejudices by younger generations. Which might seem like a good thing on the surface, but have we moved the needle too much to the point of disregarding everything they say?

Paul explains how things seemed more tangible in his youth, and now there seems to be less value in a digital age. Remember those records? Now a Spotify playlist. Personal computer? Can do it all on your smart watch. Cash savings? Now a number in a banking app. In what seems to be another paradox there is a generation who feel as the world becomes more and more materialistic and commercial, the real value of ownership has declined. He also has a more balanced attitude towards life.

“It used to be all about money, money, money. Now it’s health, happiness, money. In that order.”

With Sara and Denise, the conversation focuses on parenting. This seems to be the last of the generations who felt free as children and not frightened to explore the world before responding to the shout of their parents when it was dinner time. It can’t be a coincidence that this has all but disappeared since the birth of the internet and social media. The ‘stranger danger’ campaigns originated in the 1980s after a global missing child panic jumped on and fuelled by the media and were broadcast into every home via their television sets, which at that time everyone was gathered round. A fool proof way to convey the message to most children. Now these campaigns still exist, with adaptions like ‘Clever Never Goes’ teaching children to trust their instincts and that they are clever for not going anywhere with a stranger which the NSPCC regularly giving talks on in schools. There has always been ‘stranger danger’ and ironically now kids can literally be tracked by their parents using their phone using apps like ‘Find my friends’ and location sharing on WhatsApp. So why are people more anxious about letting kids play outside? Where has this sense of freedom gone?

This time of year actually gives a great example. At Halloween every year there’s the same stories that fly round of razor blades being found in someone’s ‘candy’. This probably did happen somewhere once, and thanks to that constant barrage of 24/7 news we know and hate, it’s yet another danger that is coming after your children even though the chances of it happening to any one person are surely next to none.

The awareness of dangers and sheer coverage of horror must be the main theory. “The media are just chasing content instead of reporting news” says Sara. There is a 24/7 constant barrage of terror streamed onto every screen in the house giving you a live update of crimes being committed in your neighbourhood. A report by the ONS in 2022 reveals some sad but unsurprising statistics, with the headline being people feel ‘very or fairly unsafe’ walking along in all settings in the UK including public transport, parks, and busy public spaces.

Knowledge is power and awareness of dangers on paper seems an obvious way to keep people safe, but ironically, we now seem to feel less safe than generations before us, who fought in two world wars. It’s hard to wrap your head round, was ignorance bliss or were we genuinely safer?

I hear feelings of dismay towards various attitudes in society today. For Paul it’s the lack of respect towards authority and laws in general. Discipline is another key word that comes up again.

“Sometimes ‘hey let’s talk about it doesn’t work. You need rules and boundaries.”

Ironically, it’s also too many rules that seem to be problematic in other aspects and another paradox arises. The phrase ‘cancel culture’ has been introduced into our day-to-day vocabulary and it’s now at a point where not offending someone has taken priority over everything else, especially in corporate work environments.

“It’s about leaving attitudes in the past” says Sara, which we can all agree is a good thing. How we get there and where the line is drawn seems to be a major difference between generations today.

The internet is a worthy contender for best invention and Paul’s generation grew up in the late 90s with internet cafes (not a million miles away from everyone sitting around in Starbucks on their laptop these days), and for Denise the freedom to stream what she wants, when she wants has been a gamechanger.

“I’m going home after this to watch the rest of the darts!”

A huge cultural change (Jim Radcliffe and any other CEOs you might want to skip this next bit) has been the ability to work remotely from home. If you can bare scrolling on LinkedIn for longer than 10 minutes, you’ll find spokespeople for both sides of the debate. The angry business owner linking to an article stating that everyone take the opportunity to grab forty winks and the employee explaining that times are changing and people need flexibility to cope with modern family life. Sara falls into the latter category and has been working from home in some respect for the last 10 years, well before the pandemic. She wouldn’t be able to do what she does now without it and in 2020 it was a crucial part of the NHS working together to keep things running.

Speaking of the pandemic, how did it affect this generation? The kitchen goes silent and both Sara and Denise stare into the abyss. After a few minutes they both say ‘horrendous’ in unison. After hearing that so many people had a breather during lockdown, learnt an instrument, appreciated the smaller things in life… it was important to me to get the other side of the coin.

The NHS did not slow down, and as well as working full time in a senior leadership role, Sara was also home-schooling her two boys, 4 and 6 at the time.

“I was trying to teach French to a 6-year-old… when I don’t speak French!”

There was nowhere to go to get headspace, collect your thoughts. It was all under one roof and it was overwhelming. At that time Denise was a recruiter in the NHS managing a team of 20, and was about to be thrown into a situation that no guidebook can prepare you for. In March and April of 2020 people started to die from COVID-19, including relations and immediate family members of her team. I can see the flashback on Denise’s face as she recalls how she felt.

“It was terrifying, everyone was just shocked. The emotional weight we had to carry every single day was real, and people were frightened.”

After speaking to these three, it’s cemented the idea that Generation X are stuck in the middle of us all, taking it from both sides. An older generation who accuses them of being too soft on their kids, and a younger generation accusing them of being unempathetic and uncompassionate. For a lot of families however, this generation are the ones bridging the gap between their children and grandparents and trying to keep everyone happy whilst simultaneously balancing their work commitments. Maybe it’s time to ask them how they’re feeling…

What is your advice to future generations?

Paul: There's a saying that you only live once but in fact, you live everyday. Don’t smoke, don’t vape, limit alcohol and stay healthy. Life is short so don’t make it even shorter!

Sara: Value everything, good and bad, learn from each other. Seek first to understand, then to be understood.?

Denise: Be humble, we do have access to so much more but it's how you use it. What you permit, you promote.

Millennial (Born between 1981 and 1996):

The millennial. Duh duh duuuuuuh. The species that arguably sparked this entire generation divide. Born as the tide was turning and the gap between rich and poor grew ever further apart. Often called the ‘unluckiest generation’ they have experienced the slowest economic growth and more recessions since entering the workforce of any generation. We spoke about Gen X going into debt for the first time and the snowball has kept rolling, with surging students loans leading to 37% of British millennials regretting going to university because of the level of debt they are now in. House prices are another sour lemon, and for many it’s getting increasingly harder to make anything that remotely resembles lemonade. In 1991 the average house price in the UK (adjusted for inflation) was ￡99,618, and as I write this article Halifax reports they have hit another record high of ￡239,999. Wages have risen of course, but it’s now 8.8 times the average salary compared to 4.1 in the 1970s.

I am a millennial, and I hear some of you cry bias. We’re all living through these things; I hear you shout as I dodge rotten tomatoes. Let me finish. Something to consider here is that a millennial today is aged roughly from 28 to 43, and in those years, you generally embark on all these life changing decisions. The average age of a first-time parent in the UK is around 31, the average first time home buyer is now 37. With more financial disparity than ever before, an entire generation seems to have been divided into those settling down and attempting a shot at family life, and the rest running round the world trying to complete their scratch map.

Enough complaining from me, let’s sit down with two millennials at either end of the age spectrum. One is my sister Aileen, a primary school teacher turned super mum to two nine-year-olds and my old flatmate Josh, a firefighter from the Northeast, who lives with his partner Grace – a paramedic. Talk about a power couple.

After dinner and a quick game of football with the boys, I sit down with Aileen in her conservatory (or sit-oot-ary as our mum calls it). Her earliest memory is another toy related one, playing picnic with her dolls on the grass outside the family home. Honesty and hard work were both values taught growing up, as well as showing compassion for other. The world doesn’t revolve around you, (I can hear our mum's voice echoing round my head).

I did want to get Grace and Josh both in on the act, but back-to-back 12-hour shifts mean it’s just two of us facetiming one evening. As a sidenote, what this experience has given me is the chance to have a decent catch up with people, and we chat for almost two hours about life. His earliest memory growing up in Plymouth was building a snowman in his back garden and finishing it off with a dustpan and brush, ever the perfectionist. The values he was taught are similar. Good manners, be polite, and respect your elders.

The contrast starts as I ask what it’s like being a millennial in 2024 for two people at different stages in life. For Josh, he appreciates there’s more opportunity now than ever before and access to so many things in life, compared to past generations. There is a feeling though of missing the boat when it comes to affordable lifestyle options. There’s an expectation to have your life sorted out by the time you reach your 30s, and pressure hits you from all angles. People at work, family, friends, social media, the news. Comparison is the thief of joy, and Josh is very much focussed on the joy he can get from life right now. He’s got an answer to those wagging fingers telling us all to stay in the house and save every penny you can.

“I don’t want to be 60 years old and look back at my life with regret, having missed out on the chance to do so much and see the world”.

It’s become a cliché now, millennials being told to quit buying avocados and Starbucks, cancel their Netflix and stop complaining about not having any money. It is important to budget and have control of your finances of course, but what are we supposed to do? Never go on holiday? Drink water in the pub? Sit in the house in silence facing a wall? Call me a socialist, but I believe some things shouldn’t be luxuries. If someone is running round putting Rolexes on credit cards then by all means have a go at them, but I shouldn’t have to pick between a mortgage and Season 5 of Stranger Things.

For ‘Elder Millennials’ (I think I just made that term up) including Aileen, they are living proof that the grass isn’t always greener. Once you get married, get the house, the family then a whole new set of problems start. Just keeping up with technology is one of the toughest. The speed at which things develop and the lingo that changes every week, it seems like a fine balance between knowing enough about your 9-year old’s favourite YouTubers to keep them safe and staying far enough away to keep yourself sane.?Just say the phrase 'Skibidi Toilet' around any parent of young kids and watch their eyes roll into the back of their head.

“There was no social media when I was younger, when you came home from school you could switch off”, Aileen reminisces.

There was MSN messenger that you could log into after that annoying dial up tone (I kind of miss it don’t you?) but that was about it. Nowadays cyberbullying is an all-new threat that has naturally emerged from the birth of social media, and 1 in 5 children in England in Wales experience it. I’ll do the maths for you, that’s a whopping 847,000 children every year.

When the conversation turns to societal change, some common themes rear their ugly head again. A lack of respect and discipline says Josh, especially for older generations. It’s remembrance weekend and what better example is the lack of poppies being worn by all ages. As he says this, I suddenly realise that I haven’t bought one this year and a bit embarrassed. The very opportunities we have as a generation are only here because our grandparents literally went to war and died for us. As I sit in Costa and type this part of the blog, an elderly couple walk in, both wearing poppies. It’s a reality check moment that maybe all people our age should have. There wouldn’t be any houses to not afford or holidays to go on if we’d lost those wars.

Another trending topic both Josh and Aileen bring up is blame culture and offending people. Another paradox arising it seems is that we have a society that encourages everyone to be themselves and have their own opinion… but only if that opinion is correct. Who decides if it’s correct? Whoever has the most ‘likes’ it seems unfortunately.

“We argue for the sake of arguing sometimes” Aileen says, and I absolutely agree. There’s been a spotlight on mental health in recent years which is a great thing, and more people are speaking out about how they feel and the help they need. But we’re not helping the matter by this constant back and forth online. It was World Kindness Day on November 13th, although we could probably do with extending that to a kindness decade.

In terms of inventions, for Josh it’s the smartphone that takes top spot. We both reminisce about those first flip phones from the early 2000s. The first kid who got a Motorola Razr was a big deal, and we’d spend countless hours standing in the playground flipping it back and forth whilst downloading the chart top 10 in polyphonic ringtone form.

“Having a colour screen was a luxury, and now we have access to anything, instantly”.

The smartphone also makes Aileen’s list along with advances in medical equipment and online banking. I’m not letting her put the air fryer amongst those despite her protests. Yes, we can have a surgeon operate remotely from on the other side of the world, but have you tasted these chicken wings?

Online banking is an interesting one. I’ve never really thought about it, but the concept of money has both become everything and lost meaning entirely in some way. We’ve gone from wealth pictured as Scrooge McDuck diving through oceans of gold coins, to a world where wealth is depicted as numbers on a screen. No one has any physical money anymore. You get paid at the end of the month and a number is transferred from one account to another in the digital hyperspace. Then it gets transferred again every time you buy something in a tap.

Think back to the silent generation, where they could physically hold their pay check and put their pennies in a piggy bank on the shelf. A time in which saving money and avoiding debt was a value instilled from the start. There must be a link between the rising debt and consumerism of today’s world, and the ease at which everything is processed. It’s obviously a technological wonder, has plenty of advantages, but like most things it needs to be individually managed and controlled to stop it spiralling out of control.

There’s a strong case that the Millennials were the first to really bear the brunt of generational stereotypes on a viral scale. Just type in: ‘Millennials are killing…’ on Google and enjoy. ‘Millennials are killing mayonnaise’ is my personal favourite.

Aileen’s pet hate shouldn’t be a surprise, as it’s the same as Gen X before her.

“The idea that we’re all snowflake parents, you just can’t put all parents together in one group”.

Parenting styles will forever be a topical point and we’re never going to agree. It really comes down to the personal style of the individuals, and it gets even more complicated when you include separation and co-parenting. Just to stir it up even more, it’s our old friend social media back to cause some more anxiety. Parents in Aileen’s generation are juggling being online with bringing up children, and the pressures that come with it. There are daily reminders of perfect parents online and the wonderful, amazing things they get up to with their remarkably well-behaved children.

I’ll tell what doesn’t get posted. The tantrums, the bad days, the mistakes, the accidents. The rules here are the same that apply to every other scenario. Don’t believe everything you see online and try to not let it negatively affect you. Whether you’re a teenager in the gym getting deflated at perfect physiques on TikTok, or a parent feeling inadequate after watching some random family’s perfect tantrum-free day trip out to Disneyland, it’s easy to get lost down a depressing rabbit hole of comparison.

The conversation leads nicely onto what all generations have in common, and this anxiety sparks an interesting point.

It’s become associated with younger generations, and recent surveys make grim reading, with a reported 60% of Gen Z’s having some sort of anxiety. But the truth is that we all suffer from it in some aspect or another from the cradle to the grave. It’s often spoken about like a disease that can be cured, but it will never go away. Your grandparents still worry about things, as do your parents as will your children. We can only manage it and try to control it in whatever way that is, whether it’s medication, exercise, meditation, conversation, etc.

The best example of this is (hear me out) the Disney film Inside Out 2. Without spoiling it too much, the plot follows a young girl reaching her adolescent years and discovering a whole new set of emotions like embarrassment, envy, and the star of the show: anxiety.

Anxiety is a caffeine fuelled, muppet looking control freak, and is the antagonist of the story. Not the villain. There’s a very important difference. Everything that it does is with good intentions, to protect you and keep you safe, planning for every single eventuality that could go wrong. But it’s this obsessive nature that inevitably spirals out of control in the film. You can’t possibly plan for every bad outcome in life and need to go with the flow to a certain extent, however as we learn during the movie, if anxiety is managed it can be useful to prepare yourself for upcoming events. There’s an exam coming up – I need to study. I’ve got a job interview – I need to do my research and prepare questions, etc.???????

Or the best solution? As I’m coming to realise writing this blog, is speak to someone who is going through the same thing or from a different generation that has been through it all before. I can’t count how many times I’ve been stressed at work and brought myself to ask someone for advice, only to be immediately put at ease by their reaction and perspective on it.

How did COVID affect this generation? Well for Josh and his partner both in the emergency services they found themselves on the front line. Whilst Grace was responding to emergency calls in an ambulance as an Emergency Care Assistant and having to completely mask up before performing any type of first aid, Josh had to get used to a shift from home visits to more domestic fires and a monumental surge in mental health visits. At a time of confusion, panic and disarray, the emergency services were the ones called upon to keep the country moving.

Josh even found himself talking someone down from the Tyne Bridge in Newcastle, which unfortunately was a common occurrence over the pandemic.

You could write a book interviewing thousands of Millennials and still have a different story each time. The age range from late 20s to early 40s is such a huge gap and a time where the direction of your life can really change multiple times. Do the snowflake generation deserve all the heat they get? They’ve probably got a lot of reason to complain, and as a result are throwing expectations out the window. Millennials are saying no, so that generations that follow don’t need to give a reason to.

A large portion of the essential workers in hospitality, the emergency services, the NHS were from this generation and they will be running the country and indeed the world in the next few decades. Like generations before them you have to admit they’ll have earned their stripes.

What is your advice to future generations?

Josh - Look at what older generations have gone through and appreciate what you have got. If you ever need a reality check, look back at previous generations.

Aileen - Do what makes you happy, stop worrying about what people think of you, look after old people.

Gen Z (Born between 1997 and 2012):

It’s finally that time. We’ve reached the end and the youngest volunteers to take the stand. I know a lot of you just inhaled sharply after reading those birth years. But yes, people were born in 2012. Like every generation before them, Gen Z have burst onto the scene and caused absolute chaos. A bunch of socially awkward, vape smoking, stereotypically Tik Tok obsessed creatures glued to the nearest screen they can find. But is that true? Or are these the same lazy articles churned out to fuel the fire against the youth of today because it’s easy, and that’s what we’ve always done?

People have always been confused and fascinated by the latest trends. From Bob Dylan going electric at the Newport Folk Festival in 1965 and getting booed off stage, to the Y2K computer frenzy of the millennium predicting the end of civilization. These kids are the future, whether you like it or not. So let’s listen to them.

I wander into my sister’s house armed with a case of doughnuts in exchange for an hour of my nephew’s time. I feel like that’s a fair trade. Daniel is 14 and more than willing to give me his take on the world as we sit in the kitchen and get stuck in.

At the other end of the Gen Z spectrum is Millie, a 20-year-old journalism student who we regularly annoy every morning at our local coffee shop. She finishes her shift, and we grab a hot drink and comfy booth in the hotel lobby across the road.

The first thing they both tell me is that they don’t really think about being ‘Gen Z’ and are just focusing on their own lives. I suspect that older generations are more obsessed with pigeon holing and labelling each new wave of young people than they are.

The earliest memories of both will put a massive smile on your face. Daniel stumbling into his parents’ bedroom wearing his dad’s shoes when he was about 2 years old with the biggest grin on his face, and Millie shrieking with excitement at finding out she was going to have a baby brother. “Is it here yet?” She remembers asking her mum every 5 minutes.

Interestingly, the values instilled in both are very similar to each other and echo the values that seem prevalent across their generation.

“Respect, compassion, being there for someone and generally being a good person” Daniel tells me. Millie’s parents preached a similar philosophy and actively took her and her siblings to festivals in the Brighton area and beyond where she grew up, so they were exposed to the weird and wonderful differences between individuals. “Respect everyone, appreciate diversity and be kind and empathetic.” For Generation Z the general values seem to focus on embracing who you are and thus accepting others who are doing the same.

So, what’s it like being Gen Z today? For Daniel he is focussed on schoolwork and Pathways, exploring which careers he might like to pursue. He does show me a video of what annoys him regarding older generations. It’s a video of Australian politician Fatima Payman, who proceeds to deliver a two-minute speech in parliament using Gen Z and even Gen Alpha (Born 2010-2024) slang in what I can only assume is an attempt to appeal to younger future voters. Attempt being the key phrase here. “It’s cringey!” he groans, and hides in head in his hands. “Why can’t people just summarise things in a simple way, so we can understand?”

Open your notepad again. Underneath the advice we got from our elders it’s equally important to take noted from the youth. Instead of wasting your time trying to fit ‘Rizz’ and ‘Sigma’ into a sentence just explain in a way that anyone can understand.

Millie is a bit further along in her journey and navigating university life. The first thing she confesses is her addiction to her phone and social media in general. Initial global studies support this feeling, with the average Gen Z in America spending 6 hours a day looking at a phone screen, almost as many hours as they’re supposed to be sleeping. This accounts for 12 years across their lifetime. Imagine what you could achieve in 12 years uninterrupted?

The weird thing is, we know we’re spending too much time. 40% of those in the same study wanted to cut down in 2024. Both Millie and I are included in this. So why are we so addicted? FOMO (Fear of missing out) is cited as one of the factors. “There’s always something going on, group chats are always going off” Millie says.

Can you really call it an addiction? It feels strange to include it in the same league as the common offenders like alcohol, gambling and drugs. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) doesn’t label ‘Phone Addiction’ as a real medical condition, citing “To be an addictive disorder, you need impairment in daily functioning and psychological distress. There’s a high bar be set”.

Maybe your actual phone isn’t the problem (Tim Cook, CEO of Apple will be pleased to hear) but what you watch on it. There are countless studies by now on the effects of social media on young people’s mental health, with very real dangers including cyber bullying, obsession over physical appearances and seeing ‘highlight reels’ from other people’s lives that trigger anxiety and self-loathing about our own lives. It’s a confusing nightmare of releasing dopamine into our system and at the very same time forcing us to question whether we are good enough and making the right choices in life.

With only 20 years to speak about, the internet dominates the conversations as expected. How can you ignore arguably the most influential invention… ever? The Air Fryer is Millie’s entry but we've already covered why I’m not accepting that…

Daniel understands the internet, is in his own words: “A blessing and a curse”. He feels that for his generation they have been handed it on a silver platter. The world at your fingertips. Anything you can possibly want to know is a 1 second Google search away. Now with the rise of AI you can even discover things that don’t exist yet, conjured up from your own imagination. (I showed my 10 year old nephews AI and spent thirty minutes making pictures of penguins’ ice skating in a tutu and tigers playing basketball). The consensus is that every child is using it to cheat in school and I’m sure a lot are. But it’s also useful in more integral ways. Daniel uses it to summarise large articles and help understand topics. It’s a phenomenon that no one fully understands yet, and even people like Bill Gates say we are entering an age of the unknown.

Another societal change that Millie is aware of is the opportunities in education, especially for girls. There is an abundance of university courses available across the UK in an ever-growing number of fields, and with student loans it’s a possibility for anyone to attend. This is a trend that has been on the move for decades. From 1970 to 1996 the number of women in full time undergraduate courses tripled, and UNESCO statistics show that the percentage of female students in higher education in the UK rose from 45% in 1985, to 51% in 1995 and 57% in 2005. As well as the internet, education is a real gift to those born into Generation Z and beyond.

We move onto frustrations. I knew the phrase ‘woke’ was going to appear in these conversations and it’s a fascinating question to ask someone. What does the word woke mean to you? It’s a touchy subject for a lot of people, and rightly so. Used as both an insult and a compliment, the word has association with racial and social injustice, as well as gender identity over the last decade. These are scorching hot potatoes that only people with iron clad hands are willing to hold. Millie gives me probably the best definition I’ve heard so far; “Calling things out for what they are. Woke is being up to date, being aware of things changing around you and pushing society forward”. Derived from being ‘awake’, this seems the most accurate definition to me.

It's also likely used in the same sentence as ‘snowflake’ usually by someone dismissing younger generations which is what Millie finds annoying. I can’t help but thinking, we collectively cock our head and mutter a guilty ‘aww’ whenever someone elderly say they feel left out or dismissed, so why is it different for younger generations? Are we guilty of being ageist and shunning these new ideas before they are properly heard?

The pandemic interrupted both educational journeys, with Daniel missing most of his last years of primary school, and Millie completely skipping her GCSEs. “If it happened now then I would struggle a lot more with the lack of social connection” says Daniel and reminisces of his friend coming round to watch television through the window. Your teenage years are stressful enough, and a key time to develop social skills and friendships without having to worry about passing around a deadly global virus. For Millie it was a time to rediscover who she was, and realised she had a lot of introverted qualities, enjoying her time alone. A valuable quality for maturing into your 20s and 30s as friendships become harder to maintain for many.

It's nice to speak to two young people that are positive and looking forward to the future. They might be addicted to their phones but they’re working on it, and value social contact more than you might think after the pandemic stole valuable socialising years from them. Regardless of your definition of woke and snowflake, you cannot deny these voices are the future. That’s how time works and the values that they hold close will shape our society for years to come.

There is always going to be the running joke of confusion and disbelief at new technology and lingo, but after the joke is over and the laughter fades. The next question should be a serious one to understand what is important to these generations. Probe don’t patronise.

What is your advice to future generations?

Daniel: Cherish human interaction. Never forgot how talking to someone can help.

Millie: Have boundaries for yourself, people pleasing has become too common.

You’ve made it. The end. Fin. Have you learned something? I certainly have. I didn’t really have any idea of what I was getting myself into or what my conclusion would be. What started as an idea whilst sitting on a bus a few months ago has led me across the country having some amazing conversations with young and old. And I’ve absolutely loved it. Probably my favourite little project to date and without a doubt, my favourite blog. So, what’s been the point?

Well, it’s difficult to sum it all up really but here is what I’ve learned and will take forward from this.

We are all human. No matter what age you are or what generation you are from there are things that connect us all. We all get anxious, we all desire companionship, we all need help. Every generation has their own unique set of problems and has also overcome, or currently overcoming them. The pandemic saw an incredible resilience and a shared realisation that life is short. Don’t feel pressured to give in to expectations on what your generation ‘should’ do or think. There is no set template anymore for life and the real key to happiness is searching for your own template, whatever that looks like.

The values each person regards as important do show a trend, with older generations preaching honesty, hard work, and discipline. While younger generations caring more about compassion for others and accepting people for who they are.

Instead of branding each other ‘woke’ or ‘outdated’ can we not be an individual who shares all these values? Of course you can. You can be disciplined and still show empathy for those in need. You can be hard working and still accept those around you who have differences. The thing is, every single person I interviewed were amazing people, and I believe already share these values and live them every day. It’s just called being a decent person.

Instead of branding each other ‘Woke’ or ‘Outdated’ can you not be an individual who shares all these values? Of course you can. You can be disciplined and still show empathy for those in need. You can be hard working and still accept those around you who have differences. The thing is, every single person I interviewed is an amazing person, and I believe already share these values and live them every day. It’s just called being a decent human.

It’s the constant pigeon holing and stereotyping by the media that attempt to make us question each other and other generations. We’re led into a cul-de-sac by these articles as they force jaundiced opinions on us and we end up seeing the post, not the person. It’s a case of everything, everywhere, all at once with a multiverse of news flooding our attention. Your attention is precious, and you should focus it on the people in front of you. We’re not all that different, we just have had very different life experiences.

Steven Covey, the American author and businessman sums this whole experience up nicely.

“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

Before jumping to conclusions and stereotyping someone based on what generation they are from, ask them a question first. You might be surprised by the answer. Then in return, hopefully they will listen to you, and you can swap some golden nuggets of wisdom. Everyone can help everyone, regardless of age.

“People try to put us d-down”. I hear you Roger, but maybe if we listen, we can build each other up instead.