Talk About Yourself Without Sounding Like A Narcissist

Networking 101: is there anything worse than listening to someone talk about themselves for the entire conversation while networking? I've walked away from countless convos to get an email or text following the event with someone apologizing for spending the entire conversation talking about themselves!

During my flight last night, I finished Pitch Perfect by Bill McGowan, a book that tells you how to show up like a boss. If you're looking to build a personal brand, this is the book for you. Here's my tips below for how to enter and exit a networking conversation:

1. Talk about your flaws!

One way to avoid boasting too much is to be real. Don’t go crazy talking about everything you’ve got going well right now, talk about some of the messed up stuff too! Not monopolizing the conversation is an obvious tip, but when it does come back to you and how you’re doing, give yourself a compliment sandwich. Say one thing that’s going well, then one thing that you’re struggling with, and finish it off with another positive look. This way you’re not underselling yourself, but you’re still being REAL with who you’re talking to. Plus, speaking about your troubles gives the person you’re talking to an opportunity to help, give advice, and feel like they’re contributing.

2. Ask about them!

The best way to not look self-centered is to not be self-centered! Ask who you’re talking to about how they’re doing, what they’ve got going on, etc. Follow up with more questions instead of just relating the conversation to yourself. Now the person you’re talking to feels like you’re interested in them, and are listening instead of just asking the obligatory “How’s life?” questions.

3. REMEMBER THE DETAILS

The most important tip. Nothing says “I’m a narcissist” more than just not absorbing any of the information someone is saying to you. If they share at the beginning of the convo that they’re looking for a house, come back to that detail later on, or better yet, in another conversation. “So, how’s the house hunt going?” what an easy way to make the other person feel heard and seen. Everyone can think of a time that their “friend” or colleague forgot a key detail about them. But they also can remember that warm feeling they get when someone they’re talking to brings up a personal detail that seemed small at the moment. Pay attention to the details of who you’re talking to. Even if that means jotting down a quick note under their contact info: “Mary Adams, content creator, her son has been struggling with allergies” so that next time you chat with them you can bring it up!

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Stay fearless or die trying,

Alexa