Talk To Yourself In The Past

There is something about time and experience that I have come to value more as I get older, but the one thing I appreciate most is failure. I’d like to think we learn more, and I’d argue grow out of those experiences that make us better next time around.  

Have you ever wanted (or wished) you could talk to yourself in the past? I know I do as I look back at myself on my leadership journey, I was probably mediocre at best (OK, I was mediocre). So I wondered recently what would be the advice I would have given myself 20 years ago. If I could time travel what advice would I would I give me? 

I have thought many times on what I could have done better and I have landed on five things:

1)     Listen, Learn & Absorb: There is a lot you get from just listening and absorbing things. A lot of leaders at the beginning of their careers don’t listen and end up learning the hard way. Most teams I have been blessed to be a part of have been great teachers and collaborators. However, I will readily admit early on I stunk at it and so I am going to tell past self so while recognizing it’s actually important that you don’t know it all. My mother had a great saying, let others influence and inform you but make the decisions your own. It all starts with listening.

2)     Humility: This is either who you are or who you aren’t. I think a lot of times we feel we have to prove what we know or make it about us, rather than the team. I have learned that true humility is always thinking of others first and being self-less for the benefit of others. If you think about some of the greatest leaders, they tend to be selfless, caring, cultivating, honest and supportive. They never think of themselves first, period. 

3)     Admit you’re flawed, it will be the most freeing thing ever and speaks for itself. And yes I am flawed, but I have been working on it for my entire life (you are never done).

4)     Treat Everyone With Respect: Go out of your way to treat everyone the same regardless of title, position, pay, gender, race and, well the list is endless. As you grow in your career you have a great opportunity to influence a more positive and inclusive culture which really matters.  This should be the most obvious, but I can’t believe how many leaders miss this one. Culture starts with ourselves and how we treat others.

5)     Relax: Most important is to relax, it’s not life or death and it’s not heart surgery. When you relax and have fun along the way, you will enjoy what you do even that much more! I laugh a lot at work and we all get more done and are happier because we don't take ourselves too seriously.

There is so much I would have done different, however I have found that had I done the above better I would have been far better off. So when the time travel machine is invented I will be the first to sign up and rush back to give my younger self a little more guidance and perhaps be better the second time around.

For those that have read my posts on “What Is Leadership” the 4C’s still apply, check it out if you are curious.

What would you tell yourself in the past that we all can benefit from? Please share in the comments section.