TALK (yes, talk) to Strangers

Every Tuesday I’m in the Mishawaka (South Bend/Notre Dame) area working with a client and every Tuesday I’m typically overnight in the Mishawaka area.   Like many of you, I have a routine.  Unless I have a meeting, I check into my hotel and wander over to my favorite little micro-brew for “Taco-Tuesday” and an IPA.  It’s my way of enjoying life for an hour or so before I go back to the hotel and work/write/plan/etc...   Every Tuesday I belly up to the rail, talk to the bar staff that I’ve come to know and look left/right and strike up a conversation.  One of the things that we train on in Sandler is the “Rule of 3+”.  What the Rule of 3+ states is that any time that we are within 3 feet of someone we should be asking, not talking, but asking about that person;   “What brings you here?”  “What part of the Universe do you influence?” “What has been the best part of the day today?”, etc….    The purpose of this (from a sales training perspective) is to ask about them in order to engage the person to see if there’s anything there.  It could be an opportunity, like my colleague who closed a 6-figure deal by striking up a conversation in an airplane, or a referral, like the guy who said to me “Oh my gosh, this conversation was meant to be…you need to talk to my friend, he needs you now!”.   

There’s another reason for the Rule of 3+ that is often overlooked and that is to share this life with people; to witness their story while (maybe, but not necessarily) sharing part of yours.    Case in point:    Tonight, I was on a mission.   I wasn’t looking to talk to anyone, especially when I saw that there was only one spot open at the rail and an eager and haggard looking gent waiting for a friend.   I was not in the mood to inquire or sell or be social or anything. Like you, I have a TON of stuff to get done.   Just give me my 2 tacos and an IPA and I was outta there!  Then he started talking and of course I asked what brought him here….first it was about beer and how he’s visited all the breweries in SW Michigan and N. Central Indiana.   Having organized a Brewery Tour for 15+ years, I was less than impressed until he started talking about the ‘out of the way’ places that I knew and liked.   Soon he talked about the 2 little breweries that have popped up in my sleepy little hometown in Michigan in the last couple years. He knew quite a bit about the area and the history of the places and I found myself asking him lots of questions about his travels.  Soon after we got on the subject of books and he told me about the next one that I’m going to read, well listen to.   I didn’t know about it but his description of it was so compelling that I can’t wait to check it out and I”ll be doing so via Audible on an upcoming 10hr road trip. (I've already downloaded it.....more to come on that.)     

Strange how I just wanted to get a taco and get the hell out of there.   

This is why the “Rule of 3+” is so powerful.  You don’t have to be social, you just have to be curious.  There is power in the questions we ask.  This curiosity leads to meeting people that have an impact on you, whether you do business with them, get a referral or you simply learn about interesting beer and the next book that you’re going to read.  I have a good friend in this business who is the master of this “rule” and he has met amazing people by simply being curious.   He’s also closed more business this way than many sales reps that I know who “prospect” for a living.   Try it out….the next time that you are within 3 feet of someone, ask them what brings them there, what part of the Universe they influence or simply “what do you do for a living”.    You could be amazed at what you'll discover.