Talk Less, Learn More

My husband, Rob, and I just bought communication headsets that allow us to talk to each other when kiteboarding.

Our main goal was safety – we wanted the ability to instantly communicate with each other if either of us gets hurt, needs help or sees storm clouds coming.

There were also some benefits unrelated to safety. For example, when one of us finds an area with particularly fun waves, we wanted to be able to alert the other person.

Despite the good things this technology brought us, there are unintended consequences. We've lost a bit of the pleasure of being by yourself on the water, completely immersed in the experience.

We’ve lost some of the solitude that enables us to experiment, fail and learn on our own. And the privacy that enables us to sing to ourselves when we’re blissful, or swear to ourselves when we’re frustrated, without anyone hearing. ??

To put this another way, it’s almost too easy to interrupt the other person with a casual observation or your own opinion.

There’s a strong parallel here to how leaders interact with their team members. Given your passion and drive, it can be easy to hover over your subordinates.

You may, for example, inadvertently be reducing their time to think and plan by asking for updates too early, or too often. Doing so can force them to respond—and make commitments—before they have had sufficient time to learn on their own.

On the other hand, if you can resist the urge to hover, and give people the time to solve problems on their own, they’ll feel much more autonomy and satisfaction, and they’ll learn faster.

If you hold back on giving advice, they’ll rely on their own smarts to solve problems, and very likely they’ll come up with better answers.

Wait for them to ask for your advice or feedback. By letting them choose the topic and time for you to insert yourself, you guarantee that they’ll actually listen, rather than being thrown off track.

Just because it’s possible for you to guide and monitor your team every step of the way doesn’t mean it’s a wise idea.

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I help successful leaders and their teams agree on what needs to change and how to make it happen. I am the author of?Fearless?Growth and?The Agility Advantage.?

For more strategies, videos and free materials, please visit?www.setili.com. If you are curious, here are a few quick examples of the work we do. You might also enjoy my Fearless Growth Podcast.

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