Talk, just talk

A couple of years ago, I wrote a post about my journey with mental health and it sparked some incredible conversations.

Yesterday was Time to Talk Day, I wanted to revisit a topic I touched on back then. I shared that, at my lowest points, talking was often the last thing I wanted to do. That’s a hard concept for people to understand and it can leave them unsure of how to help. My aim here isn’t to give you a blueprint for what to say or who to say it to, as everyone is different, but to emphasise the power of simply talking, listening and showing understanding.

When I think about my experiences, what stands out to me most as having helped are those small moments of kindness and having a space for men to talk.

I have just returned from the final week of a leadership course (MPLA) which has week long residential periods so you get to know your cohort on a deeper level. This last week however, I arrived in a tough mental health space. My work has been unpredictable recently, and the usual pressures combined with some personal challenges had taken their toll. This plus the dark days of winter led me feeling far from my best.

Probably only two or three people in my life can accurately assess where I am on the mental health spectrum at any given time. Even among those who know me well, it’s difficult to gauge how I’m doing unless I choose to share it – and I’ve become very skilled at hiding it when I’m struggling. Out of my MPLA cohort, perhaps only one person had any inkling of where I was mentally.

And yet, this week was a powerful reminder of how much support and kindness can help, even when those offering it have no idea of the impact they’re making. My colleagues didn’t need to know the details of my struggles. Simply by engaging with me through conversations, feedback, or even light-hearted moments they created a space where I felt supported. Their words and actions, though casual and unintentional, gave me moments to reflect and gain perspective.

This isn’t about saying that week changed my life; rather it’s a testament to how much simple, authentic human interaction can do for someone who’s struggling. You don’t need to know when someone is dealing with mental health challenges to make a difference.

This kind of impact isn’t confined to formal settings either. For example, I often grab breakfast at a coffee shop when I’m in Milton Keynes. One day, I mentioned to the manager how much I value the few words I exchange with her and her team each morning. They’ll never fully grasp how meaningful those small moments are to me. They’re not doing it because they know about my mental health. They’re just being themselves which is friendly, warm, and attentive. And yet the positive effect on me from that interaction is profound.

This Time to Talk Day, my message is don’t overthink what you say or who to. Instead focus on being supportive, kind and open to those around you. Even when it feels like your actions aren’t making a difference, they almost certainly are.

Link to my previous article here: https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/you-never-know-john-laverick-zdtoe?trackingId=i5uaZaRETPqlhoWQvZuzhA%3D%3D&lipi=urn%3Ali%3Apage%3Ad_flagship3_profile_view_base_recent_activity_content_view%3BnwSut4A7Rj6qmJS2GEAfbA%3D%3D