The Tale of Two Wolves Series - Part 1

Over a decade ago, I was introduced to the timeless fable of the two wolves, a narrative that profoundly altered my perception of self, others, and life. This revelation marked a significant shift in my ongoing journey of self-discovery, healing, and personal growth, a transformation that continues to shape how I navigate the world and understand my place in it. The power of this fable to inspire personal evolution is truly remarkable.

Having shared this story countless times over the past decade, I've witnessed its profound impact on individuals in my coaching, training sessions, and conversations. This fable, with its universal themes of inner conflict and personal growth, resonates deeply with people from all walks of life. I've taken great joy in evolving this story into something more meaningful and relatable, and I'm excited to share it with you.

The Fable

A young boy sat before his grandfather, an esteemed chief known for his wisdom and kindness. Brow furrowed; the boy spoke with concern in his voice:

Boy: “Grandfather, sometimes I feel so angry and hateful that I want to lash out. But other times, I feel so loving and kind that I want to help everyone. I don’t understand why these two sides battle inside me.”

Chief: “My son, within each of us, two wolves are locked in a fierce struggle.”

Boy: “Two wolves, Grandfather?”

Chief: “Yes. One is the Dark Wolf, who feeds on fear, anger, hate, and judgment—protecting you but also prone to aggression when it oversteps its role. The other is the Light Wolf, who embodies love, compassion, acceptance, and kindness—nurturing you and seeking harmony above all.”

Boy: “If they’re always fighting, which wolf wins?”

The old chief gently placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder and gave him a knowing smile:

Chief: “The one you feed.”

This story had a profound impact on me. Suddenly, I saw the presence of these two wolves in everything around me—my relationship with myself, my family, my friends, and even in the workplace. For someone like me with an active imagination, this concept offered a more tangible and fun way to understand and interact with my inner world. Over the years, I’ve come to see the dark wolf as symbolising the ego, feeding on fear, and the light wolf as symbolising our inner being, feeding on love. This understanding, gained through self-reflection, has empowered me to navigate the complexities of my inner world and foster personal growth.

I refer to my Dark Wolf as Alpha Fear, driven by the instincts of protection and survival, and my Light Wolf as Luna Love, focused on nurturing and harmony. These two forces represent the duality of life—yin and yang, masculine and feminine, dominance and freedom—each one is an essential part of the whole. Our ego, symbolised by the Dark Wolf, isn’t inherently bad; its role is to protect, provide, and create healthy boundaries. Meanwhile, our inner being, represented by the Light Wolf, radiates love, compassion, and creativity. We need both to thrive as they balance and complement each other.

If you’ve ever held a newborn or been around babies, you know they radiate pure, unconditional love and light. When we’re born, we are just like them—perfect, pure, full of unconditional love and light, with only two basic survival instincts: the fear of falling and loud noises.

As children grow, their Dark Wolf—representing the ego—begins to take shape, influenced by the environment they are born into and the dynamics of their families. For example, a child raised in a loving and nurturing environment may develop a sense of security. However, the ego may still form as they begin to understand social norms and boundaries. Conversely, a child raised in an environment where criticism, neglect, abuse, or emotional distance exists might quickly learn to fear rejection, abandonment, or inadequacy. The Dark Wolf feeds on these fears, which can manifest in self-doubt or the need to protect oneself from further harm.

Children begin to internalise these fears as they learn and experience the world. They might become anxious in new situations, fearful of making mistakes, or develop a heightened sensitivity to how others perceive them. Depending on their experiences, these fears shape their growing ego, leading them to guard their vulnerabilities with behaviours like seeking approval, avoiding conflict, or becoming defensive when criticised. Over time, this growing Dark Wolf overshadows the Light Wolf, making it harder to connect to their innate love and authenticity.

This overshadowing can create what I’ve come to understand as the ‘Shadows of Grief’. The Shadows of Grief are the lingering effects of past experiences that continue to influence our present emotions and behaviours. Grief is a complicated mix of love, fear, and all the emotions these two forces carry. It appears not only when we lose a loved one but in smaller moments, like missing a train or discovering your housemate has eaten the cake you were saving. These small disappointments add up, fueling the dark wolf and compounding our sense of loss. The Shadows of Grief can make connecting with our light wolf challenging, as they often trigger fear and negative emotions that the dark wolf thrives on. Understanding and acknowledging these shadows is the first step towards healing and personal growth.

In acknowledging and tending to our grief, we can transform our shadows into light. By feeding the Light Wolf—offering ourselves grace, compassion, and space to process our emotions without judgement—we allow love to grow. Feeding the Light Wolf means consciously choosing actions and thoughts that align with love, compassion, and acceptance. This could be practising self-care, engaging in activities that bring joy, or showing kindness to others. This reduces the oppressive shadows, bringing balance back into our lives. The Dark Wolf’s instinct is to dominate, while the Light Wolf seeks balance and harmony. Finding that equilibrium is the key to true well-being.

What I love most about this fable is how it helps us see these forces inside ourselves, our relationships, and our organisations. Whether in a family, a friendship, or a workplace, the battle of these two wolves plays out everywhere. In toxic work environments, the Dark Wolf is always on the prowl, often taking control—feeding on fear-based decisions, jealousy, judgement, and unchecked ego. These shadows can seep into the culture, creating division and hindering progress. Healing these shadows begins with recognising when the Dark Wolf is in charge. Once we acknowledge these fears and imbalances, we can start to shift the energy by inviting the Light Wolf back in.

This shift requires us to embrace Acceptance—acknowledging ourselves and others without judgment. It calls for Appreciation, recognising the value in every person and situation, even when things are difficult. Compassion is essential, offering understanding and care to ourselves and others during times of stress. Forgiveness allows us to release past hurts, creating space to allow more love into our lives and move forward with clarity. By learning to Give & Receive with an open heart, we foster trust and connection. And as we restore Joy, we create a space where positivity and growth can thrive. Trusting in the process, we bring balance back into the environment, allowing the shadows of fear and negativity to fade and healing to take place.

Of course, this isn’t a one-time fix. Balancing our wolves is a daily and lifelong practice. We all have days (or weeks, or even months) when we feel consumed by fear or negativity. But these moments of darkness serve as a contrast that helps us grow and deepen our understanding of ourselves and our world. When you recognise how feeding one wolf impacts the other—you begin to see how to create a life where you can thrive instead of just survive.

I believe every one of us has the power to nourish our Light Wolf in meaningful ways—and to encourage others—families, teams, organisations, and even entire communities—to do the same. The story of the two wolves is a guiding light, reminding us that we are never without hope. Even on the days when our Dark Wolf howls louder, the Light Wolf is always there, waiting to be fed. It’s ready to help us reclaim balance, harmony, and love in every aspect of our lives.

In Part Two of The Tale of Two Wolves, we’ll take a deeper look at the distinct qualities and characters of Alpha Fear and Luna Love, and a deeper dive into examining the different ways they show up both within us and in the workplace.

Thanks for your time and have a beautiful day!

Love Janie xo