A Tale of Two Chiles..or how I learned to challenge myself.

I grew up in the Southwest and my diet was influenced by a lot of delicious and spicy food. Jalapenos were a staple growing up. Tabasco and Louisiana Hot sauce could always be found. We’d eat Trappey’s yellow tobasco peppers straight from the jar, like it was some right of passage. We’d brag about who’s Mom made the hottest salsa around and who could eat it straight, by the spoonful. 

Advance forward, I’m working my first job after leaving the Service. My Manager and I, when eating out for lunch, would order the spiciest food on the menu and eat it all. For example, ever order Kung Pao Chicken and eat the dried red chili peppers some places put in it to spice it up…they can be very spicy.

This goes back to about 30 years ago (sorry, no YouTube video for you kids to watch). While traveling on business, I stop at one of those tourist type gift shops. In browsing their wares, I find a jar of peppers. A jar claiming these to be the hottest peppers in the world. They were unlike any I’d ever seen; they were pickled habaneros. I’d never even heard of them. Keep in mind, this was before the internet and communications being what they are today. So I looked them over, thought about it for a moment and made the call.  Reaching into my pocket and producing cash (again, this was a long time ago), I bought them.

That weekend when I got home, I opened them up, excited, like a little kid at Christmas. I could smell the pickling brine and didn’t get much of a pepper type smell. After pondering how I should try them, I decided to take one and chop it up really fine. I then put it into my awesome tuna salad (that I always make for sandwiches).  I took my first bite….OMG. It was so hot, I’d never felt heat like that before. Remember, I grew up eating hot spicy food and yikes...nothing like this. Spitting it out, I started drinking Milk and I said No Way, these are too much for me,  I put the lid on the jar, the jar in my fridge and walked away. I wasn't even thinking of how I might try to eat these again.  

That Monday morning, I told my Manager how I had bought this jar of pickled peppers that claimed to be the hottest peppers in the world and they were extremely hot, I tried to eat one and it was insane…his response, “Bring em in, we’ll eat them at lunch tomorrow”. I was like “No, you don’t understand”, he was like “Bring Them”. I tried to explain, “No, you don’t get it, these things are crazy hot”, he’s like “I’ll be the judge of that”. So, the next day, I brought them in. I’m sitting at my desk, it is early in the morning, my manager walks buy and I tell him, “Hey, here are the peppers I was telling you about” as I point to the jar on my desk.

He walks into my office, picks up the jar, looks at it, opens the jar, pulls one out, throws it in his mouth (stem and all). He starts chewing. The room is dead silent. I’m sure my eyes were the size of silver dollars. We’re looking at each other, eye to eye, he’s chewing and chewing, he’s not flinching, he’s not making a face, he swallows and exclaims “HA!, I thought you said they were hot” and then walks away toward his office. 

I’m astounded. I’m speechless. I’m thinking, what just happened. Did he get a Dud? Was the one I got super spicy, and these things aren’t consistent? No way, I don’t believe that, they can’t be that different. That means this guy, all this time, he's been playing with me. He’s like super tough, super immune, Mr. BadA.. He just showed me “Like A BOSS” if you know what I mean. 

Fast forward 10-15 minutes later. I get up and head into the Gentlemen’s restroom. As I enter, I hear someone in the back stall, throwing up. I kid you not, someone’s in there and they are dying. I cautiously approach the stall and I quietly squeak out “Are you OK in there, who is that, do you need any help?” I get closer, I look in, it’s my manager.

He looks at me, it was not a pretty sight, imagine someone who just threw up so hard their shoes and socks came flying up and out of their body. He was not doing well at all. Looking at me he gasped between bursts of sickness, “OMG Ron, I was so proud of myself, I ate that whole pepper in front of you, I didn’t flinch, you had no clue how hot it was to me...and I did it, I held it together. But when I got to my office…the burning…the burning wouldn’t stop. It just kept getting worse and worse. I tried to stop the burning….I got some coffee with lots of cream and lots of sugar, thinking this will do it, it didn’t help. Then I grabbed a muffin hoping to slow it down, it didn’t. It just kept getting worse and worse. I kept telling myself, I can do this, I can do this, keep it together man and that’s when it hit me the hardest, I barely made it in here”.

Of course, I did my best to console him and eventually he was OK...in fact, still alive and doing well today.

Now one would think, seeing this, and knowing this, well, one should learn a valuable lesson from it right? Apparently not. When I went home that night, I looked at that jar of peppers and decided, you’re not going to beat me. My Manager did it, and so can I. So with great trepidation, I steeled my mind. Cowboy’d up as they say, and took a pepper from that jar, talking to it, I told it like some type of madman, “You’re not going to beat me you son of a biscuit” and I tossed it into my mouth and started chewing. I got this. I had steeled my soul, my game face was on, it was GO TIME… 

As I stood there, in my kitchen, chewing, my mind, body and soul focused, the burning was starting to come through. Like the sun breaching the early morning, it was creeping into my space and there was no denying it. I chewed quicker now, like my dog going after a piece of bacon, this was a race, who was going to win first…it was now or never, I swallowed. HUAHH..take that habanero!...Victory, victory is mine. Ever here victory can be fleeting? Yeah, in a way the victory was mine, but as it would turn out, I simply won the battle...the real war was just beginning.

It was one of the absolute worse things you can imagine. How I managed to keep it together, I’ll never know. Some might say it was my steel willpower, I’m thinking luck and prayer. I refused to let my body reverse gears, it gagged and heaved. I stormed around the house like a madman who just drank hemlock and was talking in tongues. I must tell you, it was crazy, I was crazy. I think I had an out of body experience (heck, maybe even died for second there). The voices began to fill up my head, “This is it, you’ve done it now you fool”. “Your throat’s going to swell up and you’re going to choke to death”. “Even if that doesn’t happen, you’re going to go blind”. “Your ear drums are going to explode”. “Your tongue will never be the same". “Your stomach is going to burst open and leak into your body devouring your liver, spleen and pancreas”. “Game Over Man, Game Over”. 

Crawling into my bedroom, I laid across my bed and passed out in a cold sweat. I could feel my face melting off..or maybe my Dachshund was licking my face, I can't be sure. I think I visited some Astral Plane that night, but can't remember...the room was spinning. I no longer knew what the night would bring, I didn't even care anymore about what the night would bring, just get this over with, stop toying with me, take me now. Obviously that didn't happen, but I will add the disclaimer that later the next day, there was one last rebel uprising I had to get through before I could claim total victory as mine. While I wasn’t talking in tongues...I did sound like I was Singing and dancing in a Michael Jackson song “Hee-Hee”. For the first time in my life, I understood what Cheech meant.."Come on ice cream…come on ice cream". Eventually, it was gone, I had done it.

So, what do I hope you take away from this experience? I hope I made you chuckle a little. For sure, I want you to realize while it’s important to know when to quit, it is equally important to be willing to take risks. As painful as my experience was, it was also inspiring. What braveness, what confidence, what boldness. I did that, I accomplished it, and having done that...I can do anything I put my mind too. I just wish I'd done it a little differently, perhaps playing incredibly hard drum solo for example. :)

Now when you apply that sense of I can do anything to your everyday life, things get awesome. Do not be afraid to take a chance. I look around and I see people doing a lot of great things and those people, take chances. They are not waiting for someone to give it to them, they are not camped out and just doing the bare minimum, wondering why they never get picked. They are out there, self empowering themselves and those around them to make it happen. Remember, there are no failures, you just learned a less than optimum way of performing that task, aka, if at first you don’t succeed, try and try again. 

Also, I’m not saying hot peppers will help you get to this point with your life and if you try it, be advised, your individual results may vary.  That said, these days with my team, we keep it going. We will eat the world’s hottest ramen for lunch (amazing what you can order online these days). Ghost Pepper Candy (delicious). We sweat it out and life is good, because we look forward to any opportunities that present themselves to us. We know we have what it takes and we can get through anything. We are always prepared to go above and beyond. Once you’ve done that, you won’t want to do it any other way.  

Best wishes to you and good luck. Remember, be bold, do your research, make a decision and get on it. Put yourself out there, again and again. No matter what the challenge is, you can do it. Believe me, we can all do it, now someone…please pass me the peppers. :)