A Tale of Two Brothers: A Memorial Day Tribute

I am often asked why I am so resolute in speaking out about ageism, a discriminatory practice more pervasive than racism.?This illogical, demeaning prejudice, whether direct or implied, impacts the young as well as the old.

When I consider the consequences of inaction, I think back to my own childhood and the impact age discrimination had on my Uncle Bill.?That was years before the term ageism was used to describe such behavior and bias today.

I idolized my uncle. He was one of those rare individuals who could do anything.?He stood about five feet tall and weighed around 115 pounds soaking wet.?Yet to a seven-year-old growing up in the 1950’s, my Uncle Bill was a giant of a man to me.

He was an avid reader, accomplished fisherman (both freshwater and deep sea), botanist, and amateur photographer.?These things were just a few of the seemingly endless skills and interests he had pursued and mastered long before I ever came along.

What I remember most about Uncle Bill growing up were the Sunday evenings my parents and I would spend with him and my Aunt Minnie.??Those evenings usually included viewing of his latest slides. The slides were in ring-shaped plastic holders, each slide arranged and numbered in sequential order ready to be mounted on the carousel at a moment’s notice.?Slides were projected on a white bedsheet pinned to my aunt’s living room wall.??I could hardly wait for the show to begin.

To this day, I can still recall the sound the projector made as the slides circled around the carousel and into the viewing cue. Click, click, click!?Each slide was more dazzling than the next.?I remember a slide of him sailing against the white caps and foamy sea spray.?Another slide showed him sailing on vivid blue waters beneath billowy cumulus clouds and clear, sunny skies.

I enjoyed seeing the chase and exhilaration in capturing a marlin, watching dolphins at play, and experiencing the beauty of a butterfly or the delicacy of a flower.?Uncle Bill was particularly adept at capturing nature at play or noticing the camouflage afforded a praying mantis lying on a leaf of green.

Through his eyes, I was able to visit a world yet unknown to me.?Our time together helped to shape an appreciation of nature and a fondness for the man who provided those images to an awakening, inquisitive child.?I could not wait for the next viewing.?I felt privileged and spoiled to have had my own personal tour guide on a journey of adventure complete with milk and cookies.

A skilled photographer, in both color and black and white, with extensive knowledge of lens, apertures, camera angles, f-stops, and a natural eye for detail, I am convinced his amateur slides would be the envy of many professionals today.

Impressive as his proficiency in these hobbies were, they barely scratched the surface of my uncle’s many interests and talents.?He was a curator and caretaker of century-old bonsai trees.

His collection always got my attention whenever I came to visit.?He mastered the Chinese art of gold leaf design and origami, the Japanese art of paper folding.?Also, he was a carpenter, builder, designer, and illustrator who made his living as a highly pursued and prized window dresser in the New York City area.

In the 1950’s Uncle Bill’s work adorned the windows of some of the finest department stores of the day.?Yet in the early 1960’s, at the height of his profession, my uncle took leave from his position to spend time with his terminally ill brother in Florida.?Little did he anticipate the consequences that would arise from his actions.?Therein lies the rest of my story.

?

I had never met my uncle’s brother and knew nothing about him.?Only years later did I discover what an extraordinary different life Jesse Grant Coward had lived.?While my uncle was self-taught, his brother was formally educated. Jesse’s intellect and grades landed him an appointment to the Naval Academy in Annapolis, graduating with honors in 1932.

Jesse’s first assignment was to the Navy Department in Washington D.C. where he served as an engineer and operations officer. After two years of stateside activity, he was assigned to naval duty in the South Pacific where he clashed with Chinese bandits along the Middle Yangtze River.

After assuming command of the USS Sterett in 1941, Admiral Coward went on to win a place in naval history.?He protected convoys with the British Home Fleet, and later took part in the reinforcement of Malta and other Pacific battles.

In 1942 Admiral Coward and his crew received a presidential unit citation for operations near Guadalcanal. He was awarded the Navy Cross after his ship helped to sink a destroyer, a battleship, and a cruiser in the battle of the Solomons.

Two years later Admiral Coward was awarded a second Navy Cross for “extraordinary heroism” during action against Japanese forces in the battle of Surigao Strait.?Retiring from the Navy in 1947, he and his wife Margaret settled in Bradenton Florida.

Fifteen years later my uncle paid a final visit to his brother.?While death appeared imminent, Admiral Coward lingered on.?A few weeks turned into several months, during which my uncle never left?his side.

Uncle Bill stayed with Jesse, believing that his clients in New York would await his return.?After all, he had built relationships with his clients that spanned many years.?Well-liked by his?employers and well-respected for his work, he never thought he would ever be replaced.

Facing unemployment for the first time in his life, my uncle learned that finding similar work at comparable pay for a man in his 60’s was not easy.?A proud man, he was forced to apply for unemployment.?The longer he went without work the more his depression and disillusionment deepened.

With unemployment running out, the cost of living in New York too high, and subsequent health issues of his own, my uncle and aunt decided to resettle in Florida. A few months after the move, Uncle Bill finally found work.?This creative and talented man was hired as a draftsman and illustrator for a plastics design company.?He was employed for the minimum wage of $1.15 an hour, the equivalent of $10.69 today.

While working there, he designed a university logo in the shape of a plastic alligator.?The company subsequently manufactured his design and sold millions.?Uncle Bill never received any recognition nor compensation for his million-dollar idea.?

Uncle Bill passed away at the age of 82, his brother Jesse, at 63.?Both brilliant and talented, each contributed much to the world.?One achieved a place in history; the other died in relative obscurity.

Historically the last Monday in May honors those who gave their lives in service to our country.?It’s considered the unofficial start of summer, a time for bar-b-ques and family fun.?However, many people still don’t know that May is also Older Americans Month.?Through a proclamation signed 59 years ago by President Lyndon B. Johnson, older adults would also be recognized for their service to country and community.

?

Happy Memorial Day and Older Americans Month.??If you have now or have had an ‘Uncle Bill’ in your life, I would really love to hear your story.?

Please share your comments and insights with me.?Thanks.

?

“Your legacy is every life you’ve touched."???????- Maya Angelou