A Tale of (Mis)Trust

I am sure you are tired of listening to stories about people who trusted others and were fooled. Yeah, that happens. There is another kind of story, though. That of people who lose a great deal of opportunities for not trusting others. Then what?

Trusting is a bit like being creative. It is about taking risks. If you do not allow yourself, or your team, or your company to take risks, it doesn’t mean you are safer. It only means… You trust less. In a world of corporate kindness, we give people a vote of confidence first. Not blindly. We just assume not everyone else is a jerk. Just yet.

That’s right. The business world is no Sugarland. Good professionals don’t always succeed. Great ideas are stolen. It is a tough place to be in. High performance, however, is not about avoiding risks, but managing them. It is also about seeing what other companies can bring to you instead of taking from you. It is trusting people will help if they are given the opportunity to. So yes, forget trusting people if what you do is only take, take, take. You might have to buy an eye for your back in this case.

Television is the field where I saw the biggest aggregation of crazy stressed people ever. I mean insanely stressed people. I do understand why. While working with music concerts give you one or two seconds to avoid or fix a problem. In television there are no seconds left. At all. Your mess is happening live, with a zillion people watching. Trusting happens only for a lack of time to find a better option, but everybody is always looking at you as if you would kill him or her the next minute. In this level of stress, you might.

When I was working at Dan?ar Marketing, we took Diana Krall to Programa do J? (J?’s Show) and there was a photographer taking pictures of the sound check. Artists still have many rules against professional photographers, even though anyone can take a professional picture with a smartphone. Go figure. At that time, however, it was even worse. Pictures of sound checks were strictly forbidden. Her manager told me he had to stop, so I asked someone from the TV who he was. Apparently, the TV network pays him to document the shows only for registry. Bottom line: he was an employee and his job was to take pictures. How do you ask somebody to stop doing his job? You don’t, because he won’t.

Before talking to the photographer, I went back to the manager and explained him the pictures were just for registry and asked if he could photograph one song, at least. He agreed actually on two songs, but asked me to tell him to take pictures from the other side, for she looks better that way. It sounded fair and I approached the photographer.

OMG.

Have you ever seen a child having a tantrum fit? It was probably worse. I swear that even before I opened my mouth he was yelling at me saying something like “I will not leave here and I wanna see who is going to take me out of here!” and then some. Really.

Thank goodness, I was once a kindergarten teacher and I knew how to handle tantrums. He was there yelling and babbling and drooling and I kindly sat there, with a bored face, waiting. After three to five minutes which lasted about three hours, he seemed to be finished with “… yada yada yada, ok?!?!!!!”, still yelling. Ok, I replied. “Now can you listen for two seconds?”

His red eyes started to turn white again as I continued “You can take pictures all you want, I would only ask if you could please stand on the other side, because that is her best angle. And if it is not too much trouble, could you please focus on the last two songs?” Of course, I knew he had no option. It was taking pictures of the last two songs or nothing. He knew that too. What shocked him was how I approached him. With kindness and middle term.

He went blank.

“Is that ok?” I insisted. Then he started speaking slowly and quietly “Nobody ever treated me like that… Nobody ever respected my job… Nobody ever helped me take my photos…” He was truly amazed. I actually felt sorry for him. How can you work in an environment like this? Where you have to jump on people’s throats to get your job done… Tough.

He ended up giving us great photos we wouldn’t have otherwise and was extremely respectful of our requests throughout the shooting. A great guy. Only someone who thought he couldn’t trust anybody. Someone who almost lost great picture opportunities and a chance of a few minutes of stress free environment. Then he met the schoolteacher…

As a leader, all you need to do sometimes is to handle the tantrum fit. Focus on building a workplace where that is not stimulated, much less accepted. The brick is trust.

It all feels like a kindergarten out there sometimes, doesn’t it?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Executive and career coach with a background in people management, conflict management, sustainability and cultural marketing.

Senior Coach by ICI (Integrated Coaching Institute); Professional Coach by SLAC (Latin American Coaching Society) and IAC (International Association of Coaching); MBA in Management and Social Entrepreneurship.

With a unique experience in both multinational and national companies as well as in a non-governmental organization in leadership roles, Adriana teaches companies on Corporate Kindness? as a business strategy. 

Writer of three published books and children plays, she also writes educational on values and ethics for children.

Interested in coaching? Contact [email protected]

Learn more: www.adrianagattermayr.com and www.adrianagattermayr.wordpress.com