The Tale of Dual Roles: When Therapists Become Clients

You've probably heard about therapists going to therapy too. Some training courses in fact make it mandatory. But what is it like to be a therapist, and take a session for another therapist? The short answer? It can be pretty intimidating. But here’s the longer answer and our guide to being a therapist… to a therapist. (Yikes!)

Leave Your Assumptions at the Door

One of the elementary things you learn as a therapist is psychoeducation. Teaching your clients about their mental illness, managing crises or regulating difficult feelings. But what does this mean when your client is a therapist, who has (ostensibly) gone through the same training as you? Well, it doesn't mean psychoeducation is redundant here. You can't assume they know exactly everything you do. And even if they do, it can still be a powerful thing to have your feelings be seen and validated by your therapist. No one’s above the need for emotional recognition- not even an all-knowing therapist. This is a nudge to not make assumptions or decisions based on someone’s knowledge or experience.?

One of my personal fears was that I would offend my client. That my client would think, 'Does she really think I don't know this?' But here's the thing about being on the client's end of the couch– it is a completely different experience. Even if they have the knowledge at hand about these things, it never hurts to be reminded. Let the therapist be the client. Often with more self-aware clients, therapy can bridge the gap between knowing and doing, which are two completely different things.

It’s Still Client-Therapist and Not Therapist-Therapist?

When another therapist is your client, there's a very different sense of being observed or perceived. It can feel like your responses are being analyzed by someone who has their own idea of what the therapy space should be like. Something that you've probably not felt since the days of your training or doing mock sessions. Like with any client, remember that they're a client here - your client. A lot of the time, we don’t refer to them as our clients, instead we refer to them as our ‘therapist clients’.??

There are other aspects we’d need to be watchful of as well. If you’re over-identifying with your therapist-client, being reminded of your past self, or feeling a need to impress and seek validation from your therapist-client, spend time exploring these feelings. Talking about this in supervision or your own personal therapy can be helpful here. The basic guideline with therapist-clients is that their profession is just one of the many pieces that make up their entirety. So tune out these doubting, self-conscious voices and tune into their world.?

When Two Worlds Collide?

Okay, so you've emotionally tuned into their experiences, great! Let’s take a second to check in on the flip side – getting too much into their real world. In the relatively small world of therapists, your friends, work, and supervision circles might overlap. How do we avoid this dual relationship? Have a conversation about these boundaries at the time of intake or in your first session lest you find yourself struggling with situations such as running into each other at support groups, research conferences or workshops.

It’s possible that as therapists, you can have some of the same shared experiences and struggles from working in the same space. It’s important to be clear with the bounds of your relationship, this is a therapeutic alliance, not a peer-to-peer conversation. So catch yourself before self-disclosing or chiming in with, “Same here!”. Pause and ask yourself the golden rule of self-disclosure: WAIT, that is, Why Am I Telling??

The Jargon Shield: a.k.a Unconscious Resistance?

A large part of the therapeutic process involves breaking through resistance, the unconscious defences for the things we’re trying to hide and protect. A therapist-client has a unique insight into the therapeutic process and a new defense mechanism in their arsenal-therapy jargon. It can be easy to hide behind this in session instead of getting to the core of one’s issues.?

I realized this as a therapist-client myself, where I thought I was being super open with my therapist. I was using ‘I statements’ and sharing my thoughts, feelings and behaviours in neat little boxes. When my therapist called me out on hiding behind this polished presentation of the messy parts of my life, only then did I realise how jargon was my defense mechanism.

It’s a reminder that despite the intimate knowledge of the field, we’re not immune to the very human tendency to protect our vulnerabilities. As therapists, it’s important to keep an eye out for this specific kind of therapist-client resistance. After all, our most profound work begins when we gently unravel these protective layers and get to the tender, vulnerable and messy parts of the human experience.?

…All the Good Things

Having a therapist as a client is not all minefields and tricky conversations. It can also be a deeply enriching and rewarding experience. As therapists themselves, they uniquely understand the therapeutic space. There's a shared language and a sense of mutual professional understanding. How does it feel to bear witness for someone, who is a witness to so many others? For me, it has been a profoundly meaningful and powerful experience. Witnessing the depth of the work and burdens that my therapist-clients carry reminds me of both the strength and vulnerability of the human experience.

Navigating the ebbs and flows of having a therapist as your client is an equal parts challenging and rewarding experience. It requires being aware of and managing your feelings, maintaining therapeutic boundaries, and seeking external support through supervision and personal therapy. The therapeutic relationship is a complex entity and can be a powerful catalyst for change. The insights from this unique relationship are ever-evolving, as is the therapeutic process itself. As for me, I am just getting started on this journey, and can’t wait for all that lies ahead!?