T.A.L. – They All Lie

Everyday people lie, sometimes small and sometimes big, is it a fair assumption to say that everyone lies at some point throughout the day?  Anyone that tells you they never lie.  Often, we do not realize we are speaking untruth. It is a natural and instinctive reaction when we feel we are backed into a situation or forced to respond. The most important thing is not trying to figure out whether a potential employer or candidate is lying, but really understanding the intent, reason, and how you can determine whether someone is being truthful. 

Why do candidates and companies lie?

Lying is the use of false or manipulated statements often times to enhance experiences or environments and minimize negative toned responses. A great example of this is when a candidate is asked why they are looking to leave their employer. There are dozens of negative reasons, they are always told never to speak negatively about their company. Candidate revert to the answers, “Looking for better growth opportunities” or “Want to see if I can try new things to diversify my experience.” 

Does the fact that candidates lie really “count” as a lie? Not exactly.  What if the candidate said to a potential employer in an interview, “well my boss is a terrible person, he treats people poorly, it’s a negative place to work and I don’t want to be in that type of environment.”  If you are hiring, how would you react to this? A lot of hiring manager’s would walk away saying “I don’t want to hire someone that speaks negatively about their employer, what if that was them speaking about me.”

Other reasons candidates lie:

They do not trust you.  This is especially true when it comes to internal or external recruiters. Candidates know with internal recruiters it’s all about getting a candidate for the least cost.  External recruiters know that a person ultimately is making money so they are motivated to not be forthcoming. 

They do not view you as a friend, they view you as an enemy. They feel if they lie then they hold control. If they tell you the truth then you will judge them or use that information only for their personal gain rather than the candidates best interest.

They feel you are being too aggressive. I teach classes to recruiters and always tell them, “always be closing.” It’s the ABCs of the recruiting business, however this can push the candidate away. 

They feel that rather than showing a high level of interest, if they are dismissive and show less interest it gives them more control because you won’t see them as desperate and give them a low offer.

There is a reason they are lying. Good or bad, there is something they just don’t want you to know.

It’s not just candidates! Yes – employers and recruiters lie too. Yes, it’s a shock, but it happens. Why would a company or recruiter lie and manipulate information? Wouldn’t this set up the partnership for failure?

Here are a couple lies or untruths you probably hear a lot:

Your background is great, I will submit your resume to the hiring manager and let you know if there is an interest. Is that really a lie? Unfortunately, just because someone says they are submitting you, doesn’t mean you are actually being submitted. The reason companies and recruiters lie is because candidates do not accept no. Almost always when a candidate hears, “Unfortunately I don’t think you are a fit for this role,” they go on the offensive. Most recruiters or hiring managers don’t want to deal with this. Often times I get a lot of backlash over my transparency. I don’t like to sugar coat, not even a sprinkle. I generally have the belief if you are honest and tell them what they should hear they would appreciate it. Unfortunately, I have even experienced the backlash. I have had people cuss me out, hang up the phone, argue with me over why I don’t think they are a fit. This is why companies and recruiters often times do NOT go this route. They don’t want to deal with it.  Do you think I like to tell a candidate their resume isn’t good? As a candidate, wouldn’t you want to know? 

Let us talk about a candidate “Larry”. Larry sends me his resume 10x in 24 hours.  I look at his resume and it’s not good. It’s not marketable. So I decide just to toss it. Then, the next day he starts to call me. I ignore his calls. Later that day, I am walking around in my office and my headset rings. I decide to pick it up without looking at caller ID and it is Larry. Larry wants to know if I received his resume and why I haven’t called him. I explained to Larry that I saw little to no value in his resume. He starts yelling at me, telling me I don’t know what I am talking about, and then hangs up the phone. Sure, I feel bad for Larry, He has an MBA, unemployed for 6 months. I feel his frustration, however his resume was of poor quality. Would I have been better off lying? Most recruiters and companies would. Just for Larry’s reaction.

A further example of lying is when a candidate asks what the salary range is. Why do companies and recruiters lie about the range?   Simple, candidates feel they should get paid the high end of the range. If I tell someone a job pays 60-70K, all they hear is the 70K.  Why is that wrong? Companies don’t offer people a salary based on how much they like someone. They offer people a salary based on internal equity, what other people are making, what value your education and experience brings to the table. If a job requires a BS with an MBA preference. You apply with only a BS and they want to make you an offer. They can’t pay you as if you have an MBA. Your salary is based on what you bring to the table. I would love to be honest with candidates, but they just won’t think this way. 

What about when a recruiter or company says, “We are still interviewing candidates.” At times, this may be the case or they won’t want to start a battle with the candidate.  They may feel you could do the job, but they don’t feel you are exactly what they are looking for. Perhaps they need more time to determine that you are what they are looking for or they just want to keep looking to see if they can find someone better. 

So what now? Now that we know everyone is lying what do we do?   Should we just lie about everything to keep the trends alive?

Here is a couple things to consider when talking to people:

Transparency earns respect. Respect develops into a relationship. Relationships mean succeeding.  

Only you can decide whether you want to live life where people actually respect you. I ask people all the time, “do you want me to give you my honest opinion, or do you want the sugar coated version?” If they tell me they want honesty, I always use a disclaimer: If I tell you what I think, you have to understand “why” before you “respond”. Do not just react. I find this is an issue. This happens even with executives at a company. There is often resistance when you tell them a process or program is not working well. A common response is “Get with the program and just accept it.” Not accepting criticism whether it be from a recruiter, a company, employee, or even a candidate is a sign of weakness. Maybe the person offering the criticism is right? What if they do know what they are talking about? Would it hurt to look at it a different way.  Sit down with the person and discuss why they feel it is not being done right. Next time you are talking to that person, be transparent. Don’t become argumentative. I ask people all the time for criticism or advice on how I can do better, and it frustrates me when people always say, “you are great, nothing to change.” That is just not true. 

Understand why people lie and give them an open door to tell the truth. If someone tells you they are looking to leave their company because they want better growth opportunities, and instinct tell you that is not true, reassure them if they are transparent and honest you will not judge them for it. Assure them it is important to make sure the environment they are bringing you into will not be the same as that they are trying to escape. Accept the transparency.

If you don’t know the answer, don’t guess. One of the biggest reasons why companies don’t hire people, or even why candidates don’t take the job, is they know you didn’t give them a truthful response. This is why a lot of companies use the STAR method (Situation Task Action Results). They don’t want to just know about your successes, but they want to hear how you got to the result. If you can’t explain how you got there, then it often time throws up a red flag that maybe it isn’t a real honest example. It works the same on the opposite side. You have turned over a position twice in the last four years. The candidate asks you why. You respond, “just haven’t found the right fit.” However, you know the real reason is that the position is challenging because there is a lot of responsibilities with not enough support or mechanisms for the person to be successful. Rather than being upfront on the challenges of the role, they just “sugar coat” it.

They key to sniffing out a liar, and often times the most common way, is asking thing in different ways and making sure the answers and responses are consistent. The other thing to remember, is LISTEN. That means close your mouth and take in what they are saying. Listen for verbal cues that make you question their sincerity. Watch their body actions and how they hold themselves when responding. 

NEVER assume, always give people the benefit of the doubt.

John is set up to interview at your company on Friday at 9am. You reconfirm the interview the night before. Friday at 9:25 your client calls you angry. John didn’t show up. What do you do?

What you should NOT do is assume he didn’t show up on purpose. The last thing you want to do is chase the candidate away, but rather show concern and empathy. I called and left him a message expressing concern not frustration. John didn’t show up because he was hit by a car and was in the ER for three days. John called on Monday to apologize. 

I am leaving you with one final thought….

If you aren’t interested, just say you aren’t. This is especially important with candidates. If a recruiter tries to set you up with an interview, or you decide to cancel by saying “I’m sick” because you really don’t want to interview for the job, just tell them the truth. Lying can be a lot more damaging and here is why. I keep a list of all my “bad applicants.” I red flag their files. I also have clients that call me up all the time and ask me about people they are potentially going to hire. Yes, they call me to get my opinion.  You never know when your name will come up, or when you actually may need a recruiter or a company.  

A candidate didn’t show up to an interview 5 years ago and I marked his file. He never returned my calls or emailed me back. Last year, he called me and emailed me because he was out of a job and needed help finding employment. He begged me to help him and I declined. Ultimately, I knew he lied to me before and really didn’t want to get caught up in an issue again. If you aren’t interested, or just want to decline, it’s probably better just to be honest. You never know when you are going to need someone.

Good luck and be transparent!

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