Taking Your Head Out of the Sand
We’ve chosen a slightly unusual topic for today’s blog and we hope you find it interesting and useful. So, let’s start with an odd question: Do you ever feel like the medieval messengers who risked being executed if they brought bad news before their royal master, the king? You know how it works. You never want to be the bearer of ill tidings. You don’t feel comfortable when you have to report negative results or when you have to tell people that there’s a problem. But, how do you deal with things when they’re clearly not going to plan? How do you behave when things are going wrong? And why is this important?
The motivation for starting with these questions is to highlight an important human characteristic that often prompts us to develop blind spots to potentially threatening data. It happens around boardroom tables. It happens in sports teams. It happens in schools, universities, government offices and around the family dining table. In other words, it happens wherever human beings gather and share their thoughts and ideas.
We must have heart and overcome if we are to thrive in life and not merely survive.
― Drenda Keesee
It seems that we’re strongly conditioned to prefer stability and continuity rather than face the challenges of disruption and any potential change in the way that things are done. In other words. we seem predominantly to be creatures of habit. Does that seem like an unusual observation to you?
Some researchers suggest that it’s a natural part of our social conditioning. Others claim that this particular tendency holds evolutionary advantages for group dynamics. Whatever the origins, most of us prefer to keep things pretty much the way they are. Whether they’re working for our benefit and advantage. Or whether they are not.
However, when you think about it, this seemingly odd tendency also presents a potential obstacle to any openings for positive change and improvement.
Just as we develop our physical muscles through overcoming opposition - such as lifting weights - we develop our character muscles by overcoming challenges and adversity.
-?????? Stephen Covey
Have you seen the surprising research on lottery winners, who seem conditioned to squander their wealth and return as rapidly as possible to their original situation? Despite all the advantages bestowed by their new-found fortune, they strive unconsciously to return to their default position. Strange, perhaps, but nonetheless true.
It’s another way of interpreting this doggedly persistent tendency to keep everything the way it is. Or the way it was. Even when the possibility of dramatic improvement presents itself. I know. It really seems completely counter-intuitive. But it’s incredibly useful to understand how our minds are conditioned to behave.
We could apply the same principle to the delicate area of personal relationships. How many couples stay trapped in loveless, grindingly disappointing relationships because they can’t imagine a better alternative? How many people consider their daily ration of unhappiness as nothing more than their normal, default position and expend vast amounts of time and energy preserving the exact conditions that are the very cause of their misery?
It really sounds very strange. But, fortunately, there are alternatives to this dysfunctional way of living our lives.
In these troubled, uncertain times, we don't need more command and control. We need better means to engage everyone's intelligence in solving challenges and crises as they arise.
- Margaret J. Wheatley
And the answer begins with a fresh commitment to being honest. It starts with a deep breath and a cool, objective appraisal of the current circumstances. Look carefully and objectively and make a list of what’s going well for you right now. And then make a list of what isn’t working. This kind of analysis is vital if you want to spot problems long before they become the unexpected avalanches that can wipe out your hopes and dreams or, on a larger scale, your company or organisation.
On a more positive note, this form of objective analysis can also provide the catalyst that launches your life – or your company - onto new levels of productivity, profitability, innovation and creativity.
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Common sense would suggest that having ability, like being smart, inspires confidence. It does, but only while the going is easy. The deciding factor in life is how you handle setbacks and challenges. People with a growth mindset welcome setback with open arms.
-?????? Travis Bradberry
In a relationship, this is a very powerful starting point for creating much more meaningful communication. Because you can then sit down with your partner and take the time to express yourself and tell them how you feel. To make the dialogue more productive, it’s helpful to abide by the rule that you’re not allowed to talk about the other person or about their behaviour. The goal is to simply express how you feel. Without interruption. And without judgement. Then you go into silent mode and give time for the other person to do the same thing. Now they have a forum in which that are free to express how they feel. Once you’ve established this new level of clarity and skipped all the childish blaming and shaming that too often destroys effective communication, you’ll be ready to appreciate how you both feel and then you can talk about anything you need to do to make things better for both of you. It’s all in the conversation. In fact, it was always in the conversation!
When you take a little time to set aside your habits of comfort and familiarity, to look with open eyes at whatever’s going on around you, to assess the situation and determine what’s good, what’s unacceptable and what could be improved, you create a powerful checklist for transformation. It requires a little courage but the rewards are far greater than any initial discomfort. Once you’ve learned to appreciate the real power of this fabulous way of challenging your old ways of accepting things, you can apply the method on a regular basis to all aspects of your life and break free of those tired, old limitations that used to hold you back.
Optimistic people play a disproportionate role in shaping our lives. Their decisions make a difference. They are the inspired inventors, entrepreneurs, political and military leaders - not average people. They got to where they are by seeking challenges and taking risks.
-?????? Daniel Kahneman
We’re all familiar with the habit of putting up with unnecessary situations and becoming far too comfortable within our limitations. But the message in this post is one of a better life, improved relationships and more resilient businesses.
If you found these ideas helpful and can appreciate the power of bringing a refreshingly honest perspective to your life, please feel free to share this post and encourage your family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances to realise that they also possess the potential for improvement. Let’s be a force for positive change in the world. Let’s help everyone to rise above their limitations and enjoy greater levels of freedom, happiness, inner calm and success in all areas of their lives.
Together, we really can make the world a better place.
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Important Announcement for When the Going Gets Tough
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