Taking a stand against suicide...

The Campaign Against Living Miserably (or CALM for short) is an amazing charity that focuses on taking a stand against suicide. CALM highlights that every day 18 people in the UK die by suicide and they exist to change this. This number still amazes me and I truly cannot believe how high it is. The work that this charity does though is amazing and I have long been a supporter of them, having know a number of people who have either thought about or have died by suicide.

There is some great information on their website … why we need to talk about suicide and how to approach it. I completely get it, it’s a big topic and we don't like to talk about it, it makes us vulnerable, we don't want to put our foot in it and quite frankly its SCARY.

CALM has some great tips about how to start the conversation and I thought on World Suicide Prevention Day it would be useful to share these:

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SOME USEFUL CONVERSATION STARTERS

• Hey, it seems like something’s up. If there’s anything you want to talk about I’m always here
• You OK? I feel like something’s up so just wanted to check in with you.
• I know you’re going through a lot at the moment. If you wanna chat I’m here

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DURING THE CHAT

• Be patient - let them take the lead and allow them to open up at their own speed. Don't be afraid of a bit of silence, it can help them to open up more and give you a full answer.
• Be there for them. It sounds simple but listen to them. Then at the right time ask questions and be responsive.
• Ask open ended questions and don’t pretend you have all the answers but reassure them that, in time, things can change, no matter how you feel right now. That there’s always a way forward.
• Offer to help them with everyday tasks to take some of the burden away.
• Be patient. Don’t try to second guess their feelings. Try not to make assumptions about what is wrong or jump in too quickly with your own solutions. You won’t always know the full story, and there may be reasons why they are finding it difficult to ask for help.

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ASK THEM DIRECTLY

Too often, we shy away from digging a little deeper because we don’t like to think that our friend is sad. But avoiding the subject all together, can make someone feel even more isolated or silly for feeling the way they do.

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AFTER

• Follow-up with them. Check-in regularly. Make yourself available. Let them know that you care about them. Reassure them and make sure they don’t feel like they’re a burden in any way - words like?'It's no bother, I'll stop round on my way home'?or?'I want to see/chat to you'?can help with that.
• And if they don’t want to talk about everything now, then let them know you’ll be there when they’re ready to. This won’t often just be a one off chat - your support will happen over weeks and months, in moments over time.
• People who are suicidal can also often develop a ‘Me vs them’ perspective and start to feel isolated - that’s why it’s important to try and emphasise that you’re on their side and you’re there when they need you.
• And, remember, if you’re worried about someone you can always call our helpline and we’ll help you work out a plan.

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So I just wanted to end by saying thanks CALM for the above advice and everything you do. Let's get talking everyone talking more openly about suicide!

If you need help, their helpline is 0800 58 58 58 or use this handy link!

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