Taking The Road Less Traveled: The Journey To Transformational Coaching

My work as a professional coach over the past decade has led me on an interesting path. A path that led me towards powerful and transformative coaching. But one that diverted from what I was taught to be “proper” coaching.?What is “proper” coaching, which “path” I’m on and what am I hoping to achieve? Let me explain.?

While a small percentage of my clients benefitted from traditional coaching remedies – goals, action plans, go-go go - I found it hard, no impossible to help my clients achieve sustainable results using my repertoire of “proper” coaching tools and techniques.?So, I decided to do the unthinkable – to listen to what my clients really said- and what they did not say - and that made all the difference.

I heard stories of people being “stuck”.?This “stuckness” came in different forms including being stuck in jobs, relationships and other life situations. Doing what they don’t want or not doing what they really wanted.?Their stuck-ness did not result from a lack of goals or action plans. To the contrary, they were often working extremely hard on lofty goals and well-articulated plans.?

Instead, I often heard people struggling with themselves. Not knowing what they really wanted, not being able to express what they wanted and felt and being paralysed by inner dialogues and beliefs. I heard that people who could clearly tell me what they hated and did NOT want, but who struggled to articulate what they really wanted. Some people knew that something was amiss, but they were not able to get off the treadmill of life to figure it out. And the prospect of finding out what they really felt or wanted made a few clients speed up the treadmill in the hope of avoiding these plaguing thoughts and feelings.?Most of my clients had lots of unexplored beliefs and assumptions “stories of the mind” that kept them stuck and prevented them to access their own wisdom. In some cases, clients described a sense of feeling lost or feeling like they’ve lost their “mojo”.?

Despite their best intentions, lofty and clear goals, and detailed action plans, they were often did not make the changes they needed or desired. They remained stuck.?To loosely quote the movie Fight Club: “The majority of people are in jobs they don’t like, earning money to buy things they don’t need,?to impress people they don’t like”.

In many cases, my clients didn’t need goals at all. They simply needed insights. To see what was really going on in their lives. And once they got the “aha”, they intuitively knew what to do without goals, action plans, or disciplined effort. However, these insights nearly always required them to slow down, reflect, observe, and search inside themselves.??When they connected to their dreams and aspirations, embraced their strengths and their deeply held values, or when they were able to connect the dots to see why they were stuck. And so, my coaching slogan was born: “Profound insights, profound growth”.

This was beautifully illustrated by a participant on a personal development programme who “connected the dots” and “got it”. An engineer loved cooking but did not see the connection between her love for cooking and a career as an engineer. One question, “what does cooking mean to you” helped her connect the dots. “I love serving and entertaining people”. Suddenly there was a link between what she was passionate about – people – and her engineering job. She was able to integrate it into her career to experience more meaning and fulfilment. Her comment “I have never paused long enough to think about things in this way” captures the essence of what many others are experiencing.?

So, I took the road less traveled. I stopped setting goals and did not drive action plans. I started to help my clients to slow down the motion, to get off the treadmill of life, to search for insights and to see with clarity. Finding what they really wanted, what really caused them to be stuck and how they could resolve these to live fulfilled lives.?

I now do my best work when I help clients to be aware, to be present and to live intentionally. To become the best version of themselves, pursuing lives, careers and relationships that are fulfilling, meaningful. Achieving results that are meaningful. But don’t worry, I did not throw out goals and action plans with the bathwater. They still play an important role in my work, but only once my clients have gained the insights and understanding, they needed to make conscious choices and to live intentionally.

I am now on a mission, a mission to?Transform Coaching In Asia And Beyond. Firstly, as coach I will continue to strive to be the best coach that I can be. Showing up for my clients in ways that will facilitate their learning and growth. Secondly, I am designing and delivering coaching training and development opportunities that will address the emerging coaching needs I have described above. And lastly, as a provider of coaching services I am expanding my network of associate coaches who are able to deliver transformative coaching. That includes providing our associates with access to the training, development, and supervision they need to fully express their coaching potential.?

In my upcoming blogs I’ll expand on the issues I discussed above. I’ll take a deeper dive into the coaching challenges that clients are facing today, and the coaching solutions required to address them. I will discuss the role of psychology in coaching and the personal mastery skills required of a transformational coach.?

I would love to hear your views and opinions. Are you seeing the same things that I see? Do you find traditional coaching to be sufficient in your life or in your coaching practice? Is the coaching you receive or deliver meeting your needs and expectations??