Taking Responsibility
Leah Sefor
Writer - exploring themes of what it means to be a human being. Author of 'That's Not What I Meant!', 'The Freedom Factor' and 'Women Excelling Everywhere'.
How are you showing up in your relationships, your job and your life in general?
Do you take responsibility for yourself or are you stuck in the blame game - pointing your finger at people, organisations and circumstances as the reason why your life isn’t working for you?
When something uncomfortable happens in your life, do you:
? Take the time to sit in that discomfort and look at it. Analyse your behaviour towards it and choose, consciously, how you’re going to respond to it? Or, do you
? Reject the discomfort immediately and throw it towards someone or something else like it’s a hot potato that you can’t hold?
If you’re a ‘thrower’ then this behaviour is what is creating the powerlessness in your life. Choosing comfort over growth and refusing to self reflect or take responsibility for the part you played in what happened, being unwilling to adapt your thoughts and behaviours in a more workable direction. If you are stuck in the idea that someone or something else is responsible for the unhealthy state of your reality then you will stay powerless in your own life and nothing will shift. Because if they never change, then neither will your life. If they don’t solve your problems, you’ll be stuck in this unworkable place forever.?
Responsibility is one of the cornerstones of any self-transformational journey. This can only happen when you are willing to sit in the reality of what is happening to you in the present moment and take ownership of how you are going to respond to it.
The truth is that no-one is coming to save you - you are 100% responsible for creating the life you want. Stop looking to your parents, siblings, partner, boss, colleagues, children, friends, teachers, life coach, therapist, dietician, personal trainer, motivational speaker or politician to save you from your current situation. They are not responsible for saving you. They can guide you, offer support & advice, show you the doors or introduce you to the people that can get you to the next stage of your life or career. But you’re still the one that needs to make it happen.?
This is your life. If you want it, you have to do the work to get it. And that means taking responsibility for doing the work on every level - spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically so you can feel empowered to make your own choices, own the consequences of your actions and be accountable for your behaviour.?The path of the responsible life requires you to shift from living in a reactive state to a responsive state. How? It starts with breathing.?
Whatever comes your way, learn to take a deep breath before engaging with it. Breathing allows you the space to choose a response, which comes from a place of conscious thought and careful consideration. Snapping back automatically (reacting) comes from an unconscious place of defence and righteousness, which never gets good results. Learn to:
? Respond from the present moment and what’s happening now, instead of reacting from the past and regurgitating old arguments and behaviours.
领英推荐
? Respond from your heart and desire to connect and resolve, instead of reacting from your ego with the desire to dominate and control.
? Respond with the intention of creating a win-win for everyone involved, instead of reacting with a win-lose mentality.?
? Respond to heal the rift, the pain and the misunderstanding, instead of reacting to hurt, punish and get revenge.
? Respond to evolve your own mind, thoughts and behaviours, instead of reacting which keeps you stuck in a limited version of yourself.
? Respond to open the way for others to approach you with their truth, instead of reacting which keeps others in a state of fear around you and always shut down.?
? Respond to create the life you want, instead of reacting to the life you have.?
Taking a deep breath gives you the moment of pause to choose whether you’re going to respond or react.
When you take full and total responsibility for how you show up in the world, you become incorruptible. People can’t manipulate you or get you out of control or gaslight you or violate your boundaries. People can say and do many things, but you can choose how you will respond to all of it - and that is the immense power of responsibility. Choosing to be consciously responsive means you’ll never have the rug pulled out from under your feet, you’ll never feel victimised, you’ll never blame others, you’ll never feel hard done by, and you’ll never feel powerless in your own life.?
If you're struggle with your path of responsibility, especially if an event has happened in your life that's left you feeling betrayed, hurt or rejected, then book a 1:1 session with me so we can start a conversation around how to shift your life in a new direction.?
_________________________________________________________________________
My book, ‘That’s Not What I Meant!’ The smart, savvy guide to real communication'?is available from all?major bookstores?and?eTailers?in South Africa and the?kindle version?is available on Amazon.