On Taking the Backseat

Although the show Survivor has been in existence since I was in high school, I only really watched it for the first time sometime last year. The whole premise of the programme, and how it unravels - Outwit, Outplay, Outlast - is something I find quite intriguing. You find players who have seemingly been fast-friends ultimately 'blindsiding' each other and wonder why, season after season, individuals get shocked when they are voted out of the game. Perhaps a more appropriate tagline for the show should be - 'all bets are off'!

But time and time again, players put their fervent trust in each other, sometimes because they have no other option and that's how they make it to the next round, and at other times due to a false sense of security based on their own sense of infallibility - 'I have assessed the situation and know that everyone is going to vote this way'. Whatever the case may be, what remains true is the fact that most players come in with the goal of staying in the game for as long as they can, no matter what it takes. It's a pure reflection of the 'survival of the fittest' ideology where the race goes to the 'swift', in all sense of the word.

I would like to posit that we actually practice this 'survivor' mindset a lot both at work and in life in general. We are sometimes even encouraged to do so. Every time we hear the phrase 'it's not personal: it's business', the survivor philosophy is in operation. It need not be this literal but occurs at every occasion we are more intent on putting our point across than hearing another's, or fighting our cause at the expense of all others. This is the very question I wish to explore today. In which circumstance might we be justified in using a survivor approach and 'winning at all cost' instead of, perhaps, taking more of a backseat?

I recently decided to take the backseat in some conversations I was involved in. I noticed that the dynamics at play in the contexts of these conversations were perpetually skewed against any argument I could make that was contrary to the prevailing thought in the room. To put things simply, the odds were against me and in this kind of scenario, the optimal choice may be to not play the 'game' at all, hence 'taking the backseat'. At times, attempting to fight when the cards are stacked up against you can do more damage than good. Although your points or cause may be entirely valid, you may end up appearing needlessly aggressive or 'negative', in some way, to the bystander. In addition, you also may end up employing less than wholesome tactics to win.

This is not to say that at the least bit of opposition to one's view one should simply give in or 'throw in the towel'. I recommend this approach only when it is well established and understood that there is a dominant viewpoint in the room and that others are not really welcome. This, also, does not presume that what pertains would always be the status quo. At best, one can bide their time, seek to gain converts or 'new entrants' to their viewpoint, gradually and discreetly, in order to come out with a stronger platform the next time round. The question to note is always 'are you fighting a winning or a losing battle?'

I once had the pleasure of sitting in a Masterclass with renown health advocate, Dr. Agnes Binagwaho. Her accomplishments are too many to list but, perhaps, the biggest note that stuck with me is her legacy in helping to stem the tide of the AIDS epidemic in her native Rwanda. Her roles as Permanent Secretary and Minister of Health in Rwanda as well as several senior academic and professional roles in health-related institutions of repute make her a likely candidate in being very well-versed in navigating the nation-level as well as institutional-level politics we sometimes encounter in our daily lives.

One of the wisdom nuggets I took down from this esteemed Professor is that one should never start a fight if they are not sure they are likely to win it. The primary reason she cites for this centers on the thought that you would be rolling an institution back if your presence is no longer there to potentially help a broken system and you happen to be replaced by someone who is less competent. Thus, in effect, a timeless and well-know truth remains - learn to pick your battles!

I cannot say that I, myself, have mastered this art or have even began to skim the surface of being adept at this; however, I do notice the power of sometimes 'hanging back' and living to fight another day. After all, 'the race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong...but time and chance happen to them all'.

Let me know your thoughts!