Taking Back Our Words, Not Easy.

Sometimes we may say things to our loved ones, friends, subordinates and colleagues or even strangers that can cause great pain. We may wish that we could take those words back, but once they are out, they are gone. The most that we may be able to do is to neutralize the effects by offering an apology and perhaps an explanation for our outburst. The following story makes the point of how penetrating and long lasting our angry words can be.

There was a little boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, to hammer a nail in the back fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Then it gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out, it won't matter how many times you say, "I'm sorry," the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

Often we are not angry for the reasons that we think that we are. When you experience anger, stop and ask yourself, "What am I really upset about?" When feeling angry, count to 10 before saying anything, or leave the area until the flood of anger leaves. Remember the scars that any outburst can leave.