It Takes A Village....
It's Childrens Mental Health Day today, and although we speak a lot about personal mental health, one thing we haven't really looked at is how to keep our young people healthy, and how to help them when they have problems.
With all of the Normedica ladies having family, we are all very much aware of our children's mental health and its something that is regularly talked about when one of us has concerns.
Today's world, although very exciting in the myriad of opportunities it brings has also become a minefield for children. Whilst the introduction of the internet and mobile phones has made the world a much smaller place and allowed communication in a way that we had never experienced before, it also allows a very negative and insidious element into the lives of our children.
From the pressure around body image to the belief that becoming an influencer will pay all your bills to the darker side of the web with grooming and other dangers, it is without a doubt a double edged sword.
Already experiencing the usual day to day issues that kids experience from bullying to not having the right trainers, the addition of the internet and everything that brings can not only isolate our children, but also have a huge impact on their mental health.
With a worrying trend towards self harm and the suicide rates rising within our young men and women, what can we do to give them the best chance at developing a strong and healthy mental attitude towards everything that life will throw at them during their teen years.
Before you even begin, its important to cultivate a strong emotional connection with your child. They need to know from a very young age that no matter what has happened or what they have done, they can always come to you and you will help them through it. Although discipline is an important part of a child's life, any discipline should come from a place of love and understanding. Not anger. They need to be able to trust you and this is an important part of cultivating that trust.
Children will also give away their mood with verbal and non verbal clues. Being in tune with your child allows you to be able to pick up when something is not right and whilst they may not want to talk about it immediately, knowing that you have picked up on it and will be there when they can is a massive thing.
As a bunch of exhausted mum's, (some of us with much older kids so we do know how hard it can be, I promise), this one is so important.
Your child's mental health, (and yours) relies heavily on there being a routine in place that makes sure they are where they need to be at the time they need to be there. Whether it be getting up on a morning or going to bed on a night time, not having anything in place to regulate the day leaves children confused as to what they should be doing. This can lead to bad behaviour which can lead to frustration and potentially put the whole day out of whack.
Its also very important that they understand a huge part of life is routine. The earlier they get their head around this, the better for them as they will find it much easier to adapt where it is needed.
Whilst we would never begrudge a Greggs sausage roll or a bag of pickled onion crisps, your child's body needs to be looked after in the right way. Plenty of water, fresh food, exercise and fresh air are vital not only to their physical health but also their mental health.
Getting outside and running around, even when its rubbish out there will not only help to burn that boundless energy they all seem to have, but will also release dopamine into their brain which keeps them laughing, smiling and happy.
What does a happy child mean.... Happy, relaxed parents!
Unfortunately, we learn very early in life that there will always be disappointments. Whatever the cause may be, this is something that needs to be learned young and in the right way.
Being able to win and lose graciously is a very important life skill and can make a huge difference in how people respond to to these situations as they get older - all of which can impact massively on mental health. If the situation arises where they are experiencing a loss, learning how to navigate that loss in the right way will give them the best tools as they grow when further disappointments arise.
As a parent, everything in your instinct screams to protect them from situations that will upset them but the reality is, this may be the worst thing you can do. Life can be brutal, and supporting them through the difficult times whilst allowing them to experience them can be the difference between being able to cope with difficulties healthily when they become an adult or not.
This one may seem counter intuitive, but the reality is that independent play is really good for children.
You cannot realistically be everything all the time and it's absolutely okay to encourage your child to entertain themselves sometimes. Whilst there is nothing wrong with the telly or an i-pad on occasion, what we mean by this is letting them be bored. It has been proven that this helps to encourage creativity and independence. Its important that they understand that whilst you will be there as much as possible, you cannot play all the time. The ability to play and create dialogues within themselves is a huge part of self development and growth.
Whether its putting them at the table with crafty bits to create the next fabulous fridge picture or giving them a range of different figures to play with, this time is their time to experiment and learn without the restrictions placed on play by the adults in their lives.
Although we have always known how important socialising is for children, lockdown was a prime example of why.
For the first time on a vast scale, we saw just how much of an impact not being able to play and socialise with other children has on young minds. From struggling with basic play to difficulty with speech skills to an understanding of how to treat other children around them, that period of time had an incredibly damaging effect which we will continue to see more and more as time goes on.
Although those children are moving through the initial developmental issues, there is a way to go with many of them.
Healthy connections both with children their own age, along with older kids and adults is more than just play. It helps to develop a whole host of personality traits that will carry them through into adulthood. From being able to play and work alongside others, maintain and understand healthy friendships and relationships and being able to understand and adapt to cultural and societal norms, the benefits are endless.
Whilst we would always suggest you encourage independent thinking and being yourself, being able to be comfortable within different social settings plays a huge part in mental health. Setting your children up well from the start with good friends is a massive part of that.
As parents, we all want the best for our children and we all work hard to try and ensure that happens but sometimes, things do go wrong. Where do you go when your child is struggling and you don't know how to help?
We have put a list of links below for you of people that you can talk to for advice on how to help your child when they are struggling.
Being a parent is bloody hard work and its the one thing you don't get trained for. There is never any shame in asking for help. After all, they say it takes a village to raise a family, and in our experience, this couldn't be more true.